UnNews:Karaoke Inhibits Some Cancers

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2 June 2006

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) -- Karaoke received federal approval Thursday for treatment of bone-marrow cancer, marking the further rehabilitation of a form of entertainment banned more than 40 years ago after it caused thousands of birth defects. The Food and Drug Administration approved karaoke for the treatment of newly diagnosed multiple myeloma, agency spokeswoman Norva Moxin said.

Multiple myeloma refers to cancers that affect cells in the bone marrow that are key to fighting infection. Karaoke, a form of entertainment in which drunken Asian businessmen sing to pre-recorded orchestration, is to be used in treating multiple myeloma in conjunction with dexamethasone, a standard chemotherapy treatment.

Recent studies have given mixed views of karaoke's effectiveness in treating multiple myeloma. In one study published in March, researchers found it did not prolong patients' lives, and made them nervous and persnickety. However, in a second study published the same week, karaoke did appear to allow older patients to live longer, but at the price of serious side effects, including loss of self-esteem, anal leakage, and an increased chance of being struck by meteorites.