UnNews:Mars towed Earth to combat climate change

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

4 March 2007

Mars, as visible from Earth last night

Space, Above Earth Last night the completion of the first stage of The UN's plans to combate Global Warming could be seen from Earth. Mars was towed into an orbit very close to that of the Earth. NASA and The Russian Space Agency cooperated in a 2-year mission which was unanimously declared an unrivalled success last night. Mars has been towed from its old orbit to a new orbit close enough to the sun that it can support human life.

Scientists developed the plan in the 1920s: however, it was originally thought up as a solution to the growing population of Earth. The idea was that half the population could be dispatched in rockets to live on Mars. Dr Steven Hawkings was quoted last night as saying 'It's amazing that this plan from the 1920s has now been realised. We no longer need to worry about Global Warming - on Earth, at least!'

The next phase of the plan, to create a breathable atmosphere, is being enacted now. Scientists are flying out to the moon to drive around in SUVs to create a dense carbon dioxide atmosphere. The third phase is to up-root the Amazon rainforest and replant it on Mars and via photosynthesis. The plants will convert the CO2 in to a breathable atmosphere.