UnNews:NYSE Merges with Archipelago - Forms MegaNYSEArcaMon
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation. |
9 March 2006
Commencing This week, The NYSE merged with Archipelago Holdings to form the evolved MegaNYSEArcaMon which is also abbreviated to NYSE Group; this combination will allow for the listed stocks to now be traded electronically, making floor traders who have no IT skills - effectively redundant. This has sparked outrage, and a fight between MegaNYSEArcaMon and FloorTraderMon will commence within the next month, with investors already betting on NYSE Group to win. With the global data merged, many claim that the Nasdaq is next on the list, followed shortly by legalising Insider Trading via means of acquiring the DoJ, and eventually, the world. On its first day of trading, NYSE group (Symbol:NYX NYX) gained 25% - something considered to be significant for a company trading on itself, analysts are bullish on the stock, forecasting a ∞% (±10) return within the fiscal year.
