UnNews:Pelosi's 100-Hour Plan Drags on at Wikipedia

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10 January 2007

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She is smiling at you.

WASHINGTON DC -- The House Democrats' "100-hour plan" has entered its 130th hour today, with Nancy Pelosi vowing to remain on the main page of Wikipedia for "100 hours or more." While it is unclear how this will help in passing legislation in the closely divided House of Representatives, supporters defend the move by stating Pelosi has a mandate from the recent election, and that she is a really nice person. Republican critics, now in the unfamiliar position of being in a minority, have accused House Democrats of abusing their powers by preventing any other images from being seen.

"Surely the attack against Al Qaeda in Somalia is of more importance than this," commented New York Congressman Peter King. Others have gone so far as to state the monopoly as a risk to national security. "You are depriving our intelligence agencies of a major source of reliable information, Mrs. Speaker," accused Rob Bishop, a representative from Utah.

Public opinion of the plan is mixed, with some complaining of potentially permanent retinal scarring from Pelosi's ever-present falsetto grin. "Can't they just switch to something easier on the eyes, like an animation of Saddam's execution?" one bystander questioned pleadingly. But as one Republican congressman noted, "When you're in power, you can do whatever you want."