UnNews:Scientists at Haliburton Science Institute Prove Global Warming is Untrue

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27 June 2007

Scientists ^[1] at the Haliburton Institute of Science yesterday announced that they had proven beyond all reasonable doubt that Global Warming is a lie. We have proven beyond all reasonable doubt that Global Warming is a lie said spokesperson John Oilfinger.^[2]

In what has been described as a massive breakthrough the scientists declared that Global Warming was actually caused by the sun. We just looked at the sun and said "What if the sun got bigger? Wouldn't that make it hot?" thereby proving once and for all that humans don't cause global warming.

This is the greatest day for science since it was proved that tobacco is not addictive. Now we can all continue to drive unnecessarily large vehicles, burn tyres for no good reason and, most importantly, buy oil. The US government, a subsidiary of Haliburton, has welcomed the finding. We welcome the finding said US president and chief intellectual George W. Bush.

Not everyone was impressed however. Pinko commie liberal environmentalist filmmaker politician Al Gore said that there was little actual science to back up their claims.^[3] Other's drew attention to the obvious influence of oil company Haliburton on the Institute's research. However, we have been assured that despite Halibuton providing all of the funding and setting up the institute with the sole purpose of disproving Global Warming there was no undue pressure on the scientists working there.

[edit] Notes

1. ↑ When asked for credentials they ran away.
2. ↑ We have been assured the name is just a coincidence.
3. ↑ This is false, as scientists at the institute showed us a diagram scrawled on a napkin.

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