UnNews:Somalia: Govt, UN bringing in kittens, say Islamists

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19 November 2006

An infidel.

MOGADISHU, Somalia -- The spokesperson for the Islamic Courts Council accused the interim Somali government and certain UN agencies of bringing kittens into regions controlled by the Islamists. Sheikh Abdikarim Ali Mudey said that they received “secret briefings” that highlight the involvement of Somali government officials and UN officers in the illicit cat trade.

“We will never accept the use of [kittens] in areas controlled by the Islamic Courts because its un-Islamic practice,” Sheikh Mudey said in Mogadishu on Saturday, before planting a roadside bomb. The Islamist spokesman said the aim of unnamed government officials and UN officers was to create problems between Islamist militia and the Somali public.

On Friday, Islamist leader Sheikh Sharif Sheikh Ahmed announced the ban of cats, a furry stimulant popular throughout Somalia. Even as Islamist fighters publicly burned kittens in loads, sources in Afgoi town north of Mogadishu informed Uncyclopedia that young people were flocking to the town to secretly huff kittens that were not confiscated by the Islamists. Cat traders have protested against the ban in Islamist-held cities, including Mogadishu and Kismayo.