UnNews:Spears, Federline to divorce
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8 November 2006
LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears is saying bye-bye to K-Fedaloop. The poop princess filed for divorce Tuesday from her husband, former backup dancer, aspiring rapper, and all-around no-talent bum, Kevin Federline. The Los Angeles County Superior Court filing cites "a tiny little wiener."
The half-human mutant Spears, 24, foolishly married Federline, 28, in 2004. They have a 1-year-old son, Sean Preston, and an infant son who was born Sept. 12. The divorce papers identify the baby as Frankenstein Junior Federline.
A message left with Spears' attorney, Laura Wasser, was not immediately returned, probably because she was out to lunch or something, or maybe she was in the can.
Spears stupidly married Federline eight months after ending a 55-hour Las Vegas marriage to her childhood friend and former co-star of "Seinfeld," Jason Alexander. Her second marriage has provided endless fodder for tabloids, which have speculated frequently that the union was in trouble.
Federline's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, issued a statement declining comment, other than to say that because of California's community property laws, Spears is going to have to cough up a lot of dough to keep Federline in the style to which he's grown accustomed.
"There is no statement at this time except, "Cha-CHING!", as requested by Mark's client, Kevin Federline," said Michael Sands, spokesman for Kaplan.
