UnNews:Top Model Mauled to Death by Radioactive Wolf
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Kate Moss came a cropper today when a Gamma Ray ridden Wolf entered her catflap. Miss Moss who had just finished decorating her living room with Dark Rye Ryvita put up a terrific struggle against the large lupine likely to lacerate her luscious legs but to no avail for as soon as she paused for a Slimfast shake the Beast was upon her gaunt anorexic frame.
After distracting the creature with a copy of 'Reader's Vixens' armed clowns went in to attempt a rescue which turned to disaster as the Beast decided it was time to expel a particularly nasty pump action fart. Respirators were ineffective against the radioactive fart-cloud, 2 perished immediately, 1 turned green & commenced to talk to God on the big white telephone while the other had to be sedated for life. The Authorities decided the best option was to leave it to finish its 'Mosstick' in the interests of public safety, reports suggest that 1500 cans of Pedigree Shergar Chum laced with marijuana would be used in the event of the cruise missile containing 50 gallons of diazepam not hitting a vein.
