UnNews:White house announces a binding time table for Iraq withdrawal

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13 May 2007

Washington D.C. --- White house press secretary, Scott McClellen , announced today that the administration has now a firm plan for exiting Iraq. "Coalition troops will exit Iraq", he said, "just as soon as America has finished consuming all the Iraqi oil. In no longer than 15 - 20 years, all coalition forces will leave Iraq. In fact, if the brave American people will keep buying SUV's, we might exit Iraq even earlier!" When asked about it President Bush said: "I would like to thank the American people for giving up their freedom and democracy so that it could be given to the Iraqi people. Freedom is like a cow", the President continued, "it cannot exist in two places at the same time and we all know what happens to cows in the end, it has to be butchered so that me and my friends can enjoy a nice juicy steak!"

In an unrelated story, the Carlyle Group announced that they are expecting record profits this year. Share holders of the company will all be given extra dividends at x-mass.

a Free cow