UnNews talk:Ask Cthulhu
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[edit] This Just In; Videshi Has Woken Cthulhu Up
Out of great love for you all, and out of a lack of regard for my own safety, I have poked Cthulhu with a stick and, for a time, aroused him. Feel free to start writing him again, as there will be (somewhat more) frequent updates from now on! --Videshi 05:07, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Update
If you've got a question for Cthulhu, editing the page and sticking it in is not the way to get it answered, especially if it's one like this:
""Dear Cuthulu"" I have been discussing with other worshippers on whos better captian kirk or picard. A Satanic Mexican
Try askcthulhu@gmail.com, instead. =)
[edit] Update 03/14/2007
Hey all, sorry I haven't updated for a while. I've got a few great emails sitting in the inbox, but I've been absolutely swamped. I'm teaching 38 hours a week of kindergarten, with no more than an hour off every other day. All the time that I'm not teaching, I'm lesson planning because I have to have precise details outlined for each class. Cthuhlu take me, I'm tired. I'll update when things let off a little. --Videshi 06:58, 14 March 2007 (UTC)
I've seen email addresses for this for cthulhu@uncyclopedia.org (on the main page) and askcthulhu@gmail.com (this page). Which is it? --[[User:Nintendorulez|Nintendorulez | talk]] 22:43, 8 February 2006 (UTC)
- cthulhu@uncyclopedia.org fowards to askcthulhu@gmail.com. I've been too lazy to update the template. Guess I'll do that now... --KATIE!! 22:49, 8 February 2006 (UTC)
Damn it, he gets all the babes, and I'm stuck in a BASTARDing lake on another BUGFUCKing planet with these miserable byakhee screeching and pooping all over my boring old library! No love for The Unspeakable! --The King In Yellow (Talk to the Dalek.) 18:11, 14 February 2006 (UTC)
[edit] More!!!!
I want to read more of Cthulu's advices!!!--Rataube 20:18, 17 May 2006 (UTC)
- Contact me, KT, or gwax (who's currently on vacation) for instructions on how to update the template.--<<
>> 20:38, 17 May 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Dumb question
Sorry about this dumb n00b question, but e-mailing is the right way to ask Cuthulu a question, right? Because that's what I did and I wanted to be sure. --Hrodulf 20:17, 25 May 2006 (UTC)
- The answer is yes. Unfortunately, it takes quite a while to wake Cthulhu up, and then he usually eats the minion who does so, so it's rather difficult to find volunteers to do that...--<<>> 22:01, 25 May 2006 (UTC)
No rush. Besides, we're all going to be eaten, so it doesn't seem to make too much of a difference in the long run. --Hrodulf 22:14, 25 May 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Cthulhu in Pirate garb
I forgot my stamp!-- Sir Severian 
(Sprich mit mir!) 
17:54, 22 August 2006 (UTC)
[edit] Lack of updates
Yessssssss. Um, how would one update this? -- ยง. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 03:07, 5 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] More on souls
When you have claimed one's soul, what does the ectoplasm taste like? Vaginal juice? Petrolium jelly? If a female lived her life in scorn and abuse, can you taste how much of a bitch she was? If one used substances that had provided euphoric sensations during thier terestrial "life", will you in turn feel the effect?
Just trippin' on this...so many questions
[edit] Videshi as Cthulhu
I love writing answers for Cthulhu. I'm not sure how he feels about it... I'm going to assume he hates it, as hate seems to be his modus operandi. Anyway, feel free to ask me and I'll contribute. =) I suggest going to my page User:Videshi, go into discussion, and I've left a space with formatting requirements there. I look forward to your questions!
Edit: Since I've created and answered three, four, and five anyway you might as well. Unless, again, I'm taking somebody's wind from their sails (or souls, really).
- If you want to actually answer the questions people are asking Cthulhu, I can get you in contact with him. He's always in need of more minions.--<<>> 13:33, 15 January 2007 (UTC)
- Yeah, I gave him an email along with a bit of psychic energy. We'll see what happens. Of course, if he doesn't answer his emails at all, it's not going to work. =/ --Videshi 00:13, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
- Hey, I'm in luck. Looks like I'm the new avatar. I put in a good word for the previous avatar, and looks like Cthulhu's putting some thought into making him a shoggoth. That's better than being spiritually devoured by a long shot. --Videshi 07:44, 16 January 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Hellz yeah!
I've resurrected Cthulhu from his death-dreams! Ask away! --The Acceptable 
Cainad 
(Fnord) 00:26, 5 October 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Treadmill that works underwater
Dread Cthulhu: Just try one of the ocean currents, I would recommend the Gulf Stream as its comfortably warm, and passes remarkably close to large concentrations of souls, which would be an added bonus. The only problem is that you may permanently deplete this plane of consumable souls, but thats only part of the fun, isnt it? Have fun exercising! 165.21.155.11 07:59, 30 December 2007 (UTC)
[edit] Quick question for my majesty.
Dear Cthulhu,
Just wanted to touch base with you. I sent my soul to you via a compressed file named thiswillwipeyourharddrivefast.zip, but have not heard back from you about my question. When you call, do you call collect? My wife gets very concerned about the phone bill, and I'm not sure I can accept collect calls from terrifying dieties such as you, without incurring further wrath from my beloved wife.
Thanks, User:Rbprx1204 0253, 21 December 2007
[edit] Note to Cthulhu
Far be it from me to question the great Cthulhu, but is the Great Old One quite sure he meant "You will come" and not "They will come" in that last letter? 144.32.126.16 21:09, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
