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Poetry is an art form in which language is used for its obfuscatory qualities in addition to, or instead of, meaningful and useful content. Poetry has a long history, and early attempts to define poetry, such as Aristotle's Poetics, focused on the various uses of speech in rhetoric, drama, song and charming the togas off of potential bed buddies. Contemporary poets, such as Dylan Thomas, often identify poetry not as a literary genre within a set of genres, but as noble way of remaining unemployed and virtually useless to society. Poetry often uses condensed forms and conventions to reinforce or expand the meaning of the underlying words or to invoke irrational or sensual experiences in the reader, as well as using devices such as assonance, alliteration and the rhythm method to achieve musical or incendiary effects.

Recent Poems:

Ode To Mrs Amanda McKitterick RosShall I Compare Thee With Thy Mother, 'Ey?Divorce SongWhat is the matter with Mary Jane?Do Not Shag Gentle During That Good NightFunderful little worldTao Te ChingDrunken Angst Directed at Girlfriend and those who care enough to cheer you upWuz da Nite Befo CrimmusAn Anthology of Baby and Midget PoetryBrave Sir RobinHow crude!Insulting Love PoemLittle yellow spiderLusty beauty behind the counterOde To a 6lb Tub of Samonella Peanut ButterOne Year, Two Months, Three SomedaysParanoid (Post-Midterm Elections Version)ParkerwockyS.O.R.R.YThe Road Goes Ever On and OnLifeYour "Eau aip Ods"Ode to Pink Shirt GuyOde to the fickle hand of Russian ReversalNot yet a womanThe Link Less TraveledThe Great HowToYou Twisted my Thing inbetweenEverybody's got it but meThe Pwning of the N00bs

Selected poem

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Under the sheet that covers me,

White as the snow but black as night,

I beg all visitors that be,

"Close the door and turn off the light."


In the grip of ambivalence

I've often winced and cried aloud.

Asked to bestow but a few pence

I've hid within this bedding shroud.


Beyond this place of ruffled frills,

Looms the horror of work and strife

But while me mum is paying bills

I'm freed to sleep away my life.


It matters not that you berate,

Or plead with me to set some goal,

I am the master of my fate

I am the captain of my soul.Main Page
Selected image

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An unretouched photo of Willie Shakespeare.
An unretouched photo of Willie Shakespeare.
Quotes

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"The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat."

~ Ogden NashMain Page
Things you can do

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Well, writing a poem or two would surely help... Make a new poem


Too lazy? Search for someone else's work:

Selected article

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Poetic justice is when justice is carried out with poetry. In court, for example, the defendant, plaintiff, justice, lawyers and jury all have to perform the whole trial in poetry or in rhyming prose. Blank verse is not permitted.

This can be done at the defendant's request (and amusement). Or, if the justice hearing the trial wishes it, whether or not the defendant wants it.

The best poetic justices and lawyers are Vogons as their poetry, even in judicial language, is the 33rd best poetry in the galaxy. Appeals are rare, as appellate court judges can rarely bear to read the transcripts. You see, the poetry judges are all Vogons, and a Vogon's idea of what is good poetry is unlike that of any other member of any other race in the multiverse.

Frankly, almost none of this is true. But I'm not telling what.

Selected biography

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Edgar Allan Poe was an American writer (1809-1849) best known for his cheery visions of a utopian future, and colourful tattoos. His best known poem, The Raving, is about an excitable crowd of Britney Spears fans tapping on his chamber door, rapping on his chamber door, and occasionally crapping on his chamber floor. This crowd of lunatics repeatedly chant the word "Nevermore", on the Night's Plutonian shore. The half-sane narrator grieves over the loss of his Lenore™-brand cleaning detergent:

From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore.
For its rare and radiant colour, thats why angels use Lenore,
Spotless clothes forevermore.

Although he is often believed to have been the source of the phrase "po-faced", derived from "Poe-faced", in fact this term comes from the Po River in Italy, which is shaped like a man's face.

Did you know?

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  • Only 76.2% of all poets, living or dead, are gay.
16.7% are bisexual, 5.4% are in denial about it, and 1.7% are asexual. The remainder are, in fact, straight.
  • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem She Came & Went is about a dead baby.
His daughter, but a dead baby none-the-less.
  • At the age of 12, Charles Dickens used to work in a boot-blacking factory.
Charles Dickens is the one who looks like Tim Burton.
  • A "huckleberry finn" is a type of berry bush native only to Missouri.
  • Geoffrey Chaucer was born on Retrocession Day (Taiwan).
  • Don't Say Goodbye by Edmund Spenser is the longest haiku ever written, at a whopping total of four lines.


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