UnPoetia:Naughty Limericks

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Poetry for people who hate poetry

There was a young lady from Leith,

Who would circumcise men with her teeth,

It wasn't for fame

Or love of the game

But to get at the cheese underneath.

There was a young actress from Crewe,

Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,

The Bishop was quicker

And thicker and slicker,

And two inches longer than you.

There was a young vampire called Mabel,

whose periods were always quite stable,

At every full moon

She took out a spoon,

And drank herself under the table.

There was a young plumber from Lee,

who was plumbing his girl with great glee,

She said "stop your plumbing,

I think someone's coming,";

Said the plumber, still plumbing "It's me!"

A kinky young girl from Bexhill,

Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,

They found her vagina

In North Carolina,

And bits of her tits in Brazil.

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,

Making love to his girl in the rockery,

she said "Look, you've got cum,

All over my bum,

This isn't a shag, it's a mockery."

There was a young lassie from Morton,

Who had one long tit and one short 'ne,

on top of all that,

A great hairy twat,

And a fart like a six fifty Norton.

There was a young man from Harrow,

Who had one as big as a marrow.

He said to his tart,

"Try this for a start.

My balls are outside on a barrow."

There was a young girl from Hitchen,

Who was scratching her crutch in the kitchen.

Her mother said "Rose,

It's crabs I suppose".

She said "Bollocks, get on with your knittin'"

There was a young girl from Devizes,

Who had tits of different sizes.

One was quite small

Almost nothing at all.

But the other was big and won prizes.