Unbooks:Happy-land/page 5

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[edit] Government

Happyland is a non-governmental state, and has been so since "The Great Era of Slightly Less Happiness" which lasted from 1929 until 1939. This era must not be confused with "The Great Depression" of North America which happened at a similar time. At the end of "The Great Era of Slightly Less Happiness" the Government of Happy-Land came up with the ideal solution. Taking into account that nobody in Happy-land actually liked the government, and combining it with the statistics that exactly 0% of the population had turned up at the last 53 elections, the entire governmental board, which comprised of 3 men, 2 women, and one Wooplung, committed "mass" suicide.

The country of Happy-land has been an non-governmental state ever since, with people doing whatever they feel like.

Note that during "The Great Era of Slightly Less Happiness" the future King of Unhappy-land was exiled to that island due to complaining about the slight downturn in happiness.

After the so-called['fallen up' Last Government, once in a while, as a tradition and a tribute to Steve Sunby, and only when they are happy about it, an election is held to form a government. The one and final purpose of this government is to sit back and do nothing. The second main goal is to abolish itself. Everything is done to make & keep them happy and they do all they can (which is as little as possible) to keep the Happylandeans happy. When there are any problems They issue proclamations like: 'Don't worry, be happy' or: 'Let's solve things merrily' and then they abolish the government. They sit back, fire themselves 'let it all happen', let the people straighten it out for themselves and plan new elections in a year or so.

see also: Soap Bubble-Governments.

[edit] The Happy History of Happyland

Although the origins are shrouded in mystery & controversy, Historians now grudgingly agree that: Happy-land was founded in 1784 by Steve Sunby, who later knighted himself "Sir 'Smiling' Steve Sunby". Because Steve couldn't read or write, there are no historical documents from the time other than a few English newspaper headlines:

• "Sunby Finds Country of Happiness Whilst Under the Influence of Liquorice!"
• "Idiot Starts New Colony!"
• "'Happy-land will fail,' Scientists Say!"
• "Scientists Retract Criticism After Happy-Land Visit!"
• "Happy-Land Population Explosion Overnight!"

A collection of "Happy-Hats" as displayed in Happy-Land Museum of Happy History

The first law set down by Steve Sunby was that everyone was to wear a brightly coloured hat to signify their happiness and to show their patriotism to Happy-Land. This law was changed in 1790 after several residents joyfully complained about tourists laughing at their headgear. Some allergic reactions to the bright colours were also documented, and in 1800, the final change was made. That law is currently upheld today. Instead of wearing the "Happy-Hat" everyday, it is to be only worn once a year on "Happy-Hat Day" on the 17th July, which is, consequently, also Steve Sunby's birthday.

After the first laws were set down, Steve Sunby and the first residents (a retired war veteran and a retired war veterinarian) began to build a settlement that would later be known as "Grinville." The first building was the Casino, because all residents concluded that it was the happiest place they could think of at the time. Of course, all of the fruit machines and roulette tables were rigged so that the player would win no matter what. This "rigging" led to some very confusing, but ultimately (when they changed the odds to 55/45 in favour of the house) happy games of poker and blackjack between residents, with no losers, but only winners.

After Happy-Land became increasingly popular, more houses were built around Grinville, and the addition of a town hall and the world's first cinema were added. An extremely joyous uproar was caused, however, when several imported film strips which were thought to contain Shirley Temple movies, were switched with various pornographic features. Some of the more critically acclaimed pornos include "Lick My Good Ship Lollypop" and "Horny, Sweet Ass Milfs (SAMs)Go Down Under."