Uncyclopedia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink. Miniluv make goodthink fullwise.
“It is the funniest website in the universe”
~ User: Uncyclopediafunny on how funny uncyclopedia is.
“If something cannot be used to tell a lie, conversely it cannot be used to tell the truth: it cannot in fact be used ‘to tell’ at all.”
~ Umberto Eco on Theory of Semiotics
“Uncyclopedia ... ugh !!”
~ Some guy in Wikipedia
“Real information, in real time!”
~ God
Uncyclopedia (founded by Oscar Wilde under the reign of our great emperor Caesar DMXCIX), sometimes shortened in speech to Uncyc (IPA /un.saik/, X-SAMPA [UHN-psych]), is an attempt to further increase the usefulness, factual accuracy and ultimate truthiness of Internet encyclopedic efforts. We here at Uncyclopedia are not claiming that our method is the greatest thing in the world, but we attempt to pay more attention to the scientific treatment of the mathematical graph structure inherent in any interlinked hypertext body, most importantly in minimization of the number of cycles in the document graph, and minimization of the impact of the remaining cycles on the complexity of graph algorithms run on the database corpus.
In short, it's the best damn thing in the world.
Contents |
Our decree
While Wikipedia is currently the most widespread of the Internet encyclopedic efforts, we at Uncyclopedia have been the ones who originally came up with the idea and always maintained the technological edge over those greedy Internet would-be-tycoons, who were able to win over supremacy by using unfair methods (see Invasion of Wikiland for full history), including making up things about any topic or subject, and claims that these blatant falsehoods are fact.
We in Uncyclopedia strive to tell The Truth about everything, but we also believe that equal attention should be paid not only to the truthfulness of the contents, but also to the technology, in this case the mathematical structure of the network of hypertext documents.
We believe that in the age when more and more accesses of the Internet contents is done by the machines themselves, the computational constraints imposed by the hypertext document network topology are becoming the crucial factor in the potential of various Internet projects. It is well known that the fastest graph algorithms are the ones that run on trees.
While we do not argue that it is possible to completely remove the cycles from the document network and thus convert it into the tree structure, we use several patented algorithms to decrease the number of cycles, increase their lengths and and handle the overall graph connectivity, while keeping all nodes safely connected.
Although our original idea and several initial patents concentrated mostly on handling cycles, today's Uncyclopedia is concerned with much higher number of issues than just cycles, and we work with equal fervor in all the algorithm fields offering possible increase in computational efficiency of the encyclopedia cyberstructure.
Uncyclopedia today requires its authors to be not only the Ancient experts on the fields they write about, but also to know what's wrong with them, so that the underlying mathematical cyberstructure can be amended.
Etymology
The word "Uncyclopedia" comes from the Bad Latin word "Uncyclopædium", and originated in Time II. Three more-commonly-agreed-upon etymologies and four less-commonly-agreed-upon are commonly-agreed-upon.
From "Unus Encyclopædium"
The word "uncyclopædium" is said by some to have originated from the words Unus meaning one, and Encyclopædium, meaning an encyclopedia.
It therefore means The Only (authorative) Encyclopedia, which, according to various estoric sources was the original name given to the land of Uncyclomedia by Oscar Wilde (see #History).
From "Un-" + "Cyclos" + "Encyclopædium"
The word "uncyclopædium" is also said to be a portmanteau of the words "uncycle" and and Encyclopædium, meaning simply an encyclopedia with decreased number and impact of cycles on computational tractability.
The proponents of the theory (mostly computer nerds and programmers) say that leading "un" in the Uncyclopedia name is sometimes interpreted as coming from the word Unus meaning one (and say that it is actually an example of linguistic false friends) to give the expanded versions like "The Only Encyclopedia", "One Footed Tornado", or connection of the word with unicycles, either those of the graph theory or those of real world.
From Doctor Who
The occasional loon in the psycho ward has claimed that the word, in fact, came from an episode of Doctor Who. In the episode, The Doctor used a device called an "Uncyclopedia" (or occasionally "Oncylopaedia") to scramble all history in time and space to the user's advantage.
It has been considered one of the most worthwhile moments in television history, apart from the infamous Donny Osman Dart episode of the Rosie O'Donnell show. This is the most popular explanation for the site's name by Doctor Who nerds, but not by any sensible people.
Less common theories
- From "Unus Cyclos Pedum"
- The people who say that the word comes from "Unus Cyclos Pedum" or "One Wind Foot" are those who compare the Uncyclopedia to an "unsteady, swirling wind of (mis)information". The meaning of the word, according the the Unus Cyclos Pedum theory, is "One Footed Tornado".
- From "Unicycle Encyclopædium"
- This is one of the least popular theories. It says that Uncyclopedia was originally a database of Unicycles. However, with the advent of Unicyclopedia, this theory has been largely abandoned.
- From "Un-" + "Cylon" + "Encyclopædium"
- The theory that "Uncyclopædium" came from the Latin phrase meaning "Anti-Cylon Encyclopedia" is another rare, largely unbelieved theory with little basis in fact; although there is some new supporting archaeological evidence that may lend credibility to this theory.
- From "Un-" + "Ne-" + "Encyclopædium"
- It is also said by Expertæ Latinum that the word "Uncyclopædium" is from a Latin phrase just meaning "Encyclopædium".
- The prefixes "Un-" (not) and "Ne-" (not) don't combine to give no double negative, therefore not rendering no word not different to no other word.
- The usage of the two prefixes then provides a word meaning "encyclopedia", yet thoroughly different.
Source of Power
Uncyclopedia's infinite source of divine power stems from "Murphy's law application for antigravitatory cats", more specifically Oscar Wilde's utterly magnificent and complex "Cat-Toast device" which is universally famous, which was first successfully tested in the Madhatter Project, in which Oscar Wilde, Big Bird and Millard Fillmore gathered in the desert one day and tested the first CTD, which formed a self-sustaining fireball.
All rumours about the Uncyclopedia being powered by a Stormtroopers vs. Red Shirts device, a hamster in a wheel, a wind farm, Malaysian slaves working in factories and a Whale Blowhole Power Plant are totally baseless. This, of course, makes them absolutely true.
Objectives and Policy
"Uncyclopedia" is created for fun. Sometimes you may find yourself wondering if it is created by the CIA or MI6 to soak up all of your time and energy, but it isn't. It's for fun. They believe in freedom of expression. For example, you are free to edit pages like Jew, Muslim, India, Pakistan etc. and Uncyclopedia is free to block the editing of pages like United States of America, France, Bush etc. All are free!!
Populace
Uncyclopedians mostly speak English, but some Indo-European languages are spoken too. And very rarely, Flamingonese.
There are many Uncyclopedian religions, for a full list see UnMeta.
Uncyclopedia is lead by King Chronarion I Ferrari, son of King Oscar Willis-Wilde I Pimp-Wildebeast, who is in turn advised by his Cabal[1] Admins.
History
Uncyclopedia was founded in 1865 BC by Uscarus Therus, now Oscar Wilde, an Islish merchant from Rome. He created his Uncyclopedia (then Unus Encyclopædium, The Only Encyclopedia) and migrated to Wikiland and took up base in the land previously inhabited by some of the Wikipedii tribe. It took little time for Uncyclomedia to develop into a thriving empire with the major cities of Unmetia, Uncyclopedia, Undictionaria, Unnuwsia, and more.
Wikipedia's Involvement
- Main article: History of Wikiland
In the 990s BCE, the Wikipedii tribe took the basic idea for an Empire and copied it, becoming the evil Wikiland. It took little time before the Wikii tribes, with their knowledge of the Wiki landscape, incorporated it into their empire and, with the help of Alexander Gorila II, used the newly-invented Interweb to invade the rest of the world. The capital city, En, ruled over the provinces of Wiktionary, Wikinews and others, which in turn copied Undictionary, and Unnews, and took over the Earth in a matter of months. It was not until years later, in 1995 AC, that the Uncyclopedii had taken advantage of the Wiki landscape, and Uscarus' heir expanded the empire to the end of the known world. The two tribes are at war to this very day. Uncyclopedians often use a Uncyclo-Bomb to destroy Wikipedii.
Other Rival Tribes
Other tribes have attacked the Uncyclopedii in the past, including the Encyclopædia Dramaticiiand the Kamelopedii, all of which the Uncyclopedii pwned with ease.
Flags of Uncyclopedia
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Anti-Uncyclopedia
- Main article: Anti-Uncyclopedia
Anti-Uncyclopedia is a rebel group which despises Uncyclopedia and all its users, practises and content, actively seeking to have the wiki eliminated. Led by founder Jimbo Wales, the group is mostly made up of Wikipedians and Encyclopædia Dramaticans all with the sole consensus that Uncyclopedia's growth is detrimental to world peace sanity.
The movement was founded in approximately 995 BC by Wikipedia co-founder and ogre Jimbo Wales. Seeing the wiki's existence as a threat to his empire of Wikipedia, Wales set about gaining support to eradicate Uncyclopedia altogether.
The stock action of the active Anti-Uncyclopedian is to vandalise the wiki. This is most often carried out under the safety of anonymous IP's. Range blocks are generally not a problem: a hardcore group of persistent AU members have purchased Volkswagen camper vans and travel the world over, leeching from library computers, Internet Cafes and public web points. This has, for hundreds of years, caused massive problems for Uncyclopedia. In retaliation, however, Uncyclopedia have recently announced their own version of Wikipedia's Anti-vandalism unit: taking on new sysops to huff a sackload of crud.
Uncyclopedia's own view of Uncyclopedia
When asked what Uncyclopedia thinks about itself and the users, it only replied:
"There is currently no text in this page. Would you like to create Time compression or Search for Time compression in Uncyclopedia? If you just created this page, wait a few minutes and reload in case of database delay."
It gives this answer more and more often to more and more questions. This has started to worry many editors that are no longer allowed to post new info but gets this message when searching after their posted pages. "A nervous phase of Uncyclopedia's life" is the normal explanation.
Where was I, oh yeah
And that "a few minutes" is an undefined amount of time that can vary from one 1000th of a second to a couple of years. This is explained with "Uncyclopedia is God - Do not question God."
| No...George W. Bush is not God! But Monica Lewinsky is Aphrodite. |
In popular culture
- Main article: Uncyclopedia in popular culture
The Uncyclopedia movies
The Uncyclopedia Movie - Ninjas of the Caribbean (2005) is the first of the Uncyclopedia trilogy of films, followed by The Uncyclopedia Movie 2 - Incoherent Nonsense at the Edge of Sanity (2006) and Uncyclopedia 3 - Steve Ballmer's Revenge (2007). The original film, U for Uncyclopedia, was a boring documentary about the life of Oscar Wilde and his journey to the centre of the Uncyclopedia, with collisions with Vandalism, Random humor and the monster of AAAAAAAAA! However, it failed to document the seriousness of the Invasion of Wikiland and thus was a complete and utter failure. It starred Samuel L. Jackson as BENSON (see the article for full cast list) and is only viewable on Firefox. It also, famously, reached #1 in the Worst 100 Movies of All Time (see there for info). However, the second film arguably triumphs the first one in crapiness and so bad it's simply beyond words to describe. Therefore, it's better to not try...
The Album
Uncyclopedia - What Up Ma Bitch Ho was released in 2009 on Cheese Footballs Records, to untold acclaim. It sold several (well, seven) copies, and was generally considered a better record than its forerunner, "Wikipedia - Jimbo Wales' Accordion Tales", which sucked. Most of the album was taken up by Oscar Wilde shredding your groin off. With a guitar, that is.
Uncyclopedia's Secret Page
It has been said that there is a secret page on Uncyclopedia that contains untold riches. Very little is known about this secret page except that its whereabouts are hidden from Uncyclopedians, which is why it's called a secret page.
The End of the World
If you have found this article expecting to create a paradox that will end the world as we know it, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.
The End of Uncyclopedia in Traditional Chinese?
Something link The End of the World was really happened on Uncyclopedia in Traditional Chinese. Because of unknown reasons, Uncyclopedia in Traditional Chinese had return to the time around late 2006 to early 2007. All the things after that time have been disappeared in the space.
Not so really the End, don't be so said...... the things before late 2006 are still here......
Note
- ↑ There is no cabal.
See Also
- Evolution of an Uncyclopedia editor
- About Uncyclopedia
- Constructive criticism
- More constructive criticism
- A carefully pre-selected page about Uncyclopedia
- Uncyclonesia
- The Uncyclopedia Movie, created by Oscar Wilde
- The Uncyclopedia Movie 2, the sequel to The Uncyclopedia Movie
- Anti-Uncyclopedia
- Unpocalypse
- Project:Evil
- Uncyclopedia's Article on Itself
- Uncyclopedians Anonymous
- Temporal Paradox
- Worst 100 Locations of All Time
- That Grey Thing on the Back of Your Screen
- I Wonder How Long it Will Take For This Page to Get Deleted
Related Wikis
...and if you still don't know what it is, you're on your own. Oh and...
“End of article???!! Uhhhh, wait a minute, you guys haven't told me yet where I can find this Uncyclopedia website that you keep talking about!”
~ Captain Oblivious on being oblivious
