Uncyclopedia:AAN/Adopters
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
ADOPTEES: Feel free to contact any available person on this list, but do so one at a time. We don't want any custody battles just because you gave your name to everyone on the list, and they all answered with a resounding YES. Patience. :)
ADOPTERS: Got time to kill? Did your plant die and you're too cheap to buy a dog? PWN a n00b today for fun and profit, or lack of anything better to do.
(Start again.)
If you'd like to help new users to "succeed" here (whatever that means to you), by providing mentorship, sign up here. Just a few things to keep in mind:
- Adopters should be available often to help their adoptees.
- Adopters should have a minimum of 500 edits.
- Adopters should not have any recent blocks (last 6 months) or vandalism (last 3 months).
- Adopters should not be current adoptees.
| Adopter | Admin? | Adoption status | Activity | On Uncyclopedia | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Todd Lyons | Yes | Not currently accepting. | MIA | I've been an admin for over a year, and have won a number of awards for my writing and editing work here. Browse my user page for further details on my contributions. | Sorry! No spaces available. |
| Crazyswordsman | No | Feel free to request adoption! | MIA | I haven't written many articles (although I have written a few, excluding UnNews articles I wrote), but most of my work has been anti-vandalism and taking care of housekeeping requests. | One space still available. |
| Squiggle | No, but was once nominated. | Feel free to request adoption! | Normally on IRC | I once won the prestigious Writer of the Month, have numerous featured articles, one featured image, and was nominated for an Administrator position as previously mentioned, in addition to several other honors. Also, I am only 13 years old (not joking) but I have enough experience here to help anyone of any age. | One space still available. |
| Mordillo | Yes, all part of the master plan to take over the world | Adopting now! | Normally Around | Been around for a while now, like writing on main namespace, Unnews and some audio bits as well. Got some awards and features. Also like keeping the place clean and friendly. Like my flat. Strike that. My flat is a bloody mess. | One space still available, get it while it's still hot! NEW MATTRESS CLEANER THAN TOM'S!!! |
| Insineratehymn | No | Sorry, all full. | MIA | I've been here on Uncyclopedia for nearly a year now, and I have a veteran's understanding of how the process works. I have written a few articles of very high quality, but I am best known by the community for my audio recording of articles. I am more than happy to help out any n00b that requests assistance. | Sorry, all full. |
| flyingfeline | Unfortunately. | Brain temporarily elsewhere | MIA | I am one of the wimpiest admins on the site, and therefore useful to take advantage of. Too lazy to write much, but I tend to have a fair idea what's going on and can help with most things. Can be bribed with chocolate biscuits. | Sowwy. |
| Premier Tom Mayfair | Yes, the foolish admins gave me powah! | The dungeon is downstairs. SLIGHTLY USED MATTRESS!!! With authentic Mordillo fappin' stains. | I cum & go. | I don't write much but have a good understandin' of the rules and what is expected of users. I'm normally friendly until you touch my user page for any reason. My talk page is there for a reason. Oh, & I'm a pop icon here... Oh, & an administrator... Oh, & a wee bit insane... Oh, & a registered pervert. | Sexual Advances Mandatory. |
| Electrified mocha chinchilla | Nope. | Feel free to request adoption! | Around Somewhat | I don't really do much here. Imagine Uncyclopedia as one big insurance office, with cubicles and crap like that. I'm not the shit-kicker or the paper-pusher. If anything, I'm the janitor. I get minimum wage and come to work everyday in a stupid grey jumpsuit. I'm probably a convicted sex offender too. | Free consultation! No up-front charges! No payments until 2008! |
| BENSON | Some day... sigh. | Hellz yeah! | MIA | If you want to be a contributing member of Uncyc society, then just go to someone else. Like the guy or girl above me. Ah, who am I kidding, there's no girls on Uncyc. But if you want to say that you were adopted by BENSON, then you'd better stick with me. | BENSON is adopting because the doctor said that BENSON's ovaries aren't working right. |
| HerrDoktor | No. I have an outside life (and a job). Not that someone has ever proposed it... | Suspension vats available| | MIA | Five and a half featured articles and quite inspired. Not that bad, I guess. Two former n00bs have graduated under my drill program, both ending as "Sir". | Did you ever have considered being a brain in a jar? |
| Gert5 | O-NAAAAY | Sign up now and get* $5 | I do alot o' stuff arond UN | Made a bunch of templates. A few in public, which was embarassing. Type alot better than n00bins. 158 articles, most of them died, but I still have 48 articles. No Featured Articles. Why do people have so many of those things anyway and I have none? Have done about 3000 contributions. And 120 images and counting. *-Mongolia Only | I'm also good at not eating!! Hey? |
| High Gen. Grue | Nommed at least thrice for sysop, and started the Grue Army. | No. I'm too busy on IRC. | On IRC always. Not editing. BUT will go "OMGNOOBALERT!" if you leave a message on my talk page. | I have made a few articles, which suck. But I am currently working to add pages to Grueslayer and edit TYATU. I started the Grue Army, a group of users trying to stop vandals from thier work. I check this site every day, and check my messages once I get them, so if you ask a question, it WILL be answered, if I know the answer. I know how to make templates, some formatting tips, among other things. I have images (which where stole from Wikipedia), and can be an ass, but I try to be nice. Member of Ceridwyn's proofreading service, also resident Poopsmith. | No. Here's a 19 year old female girl to pass the time while you wait. |
| Uncyclopedian | No | Sorry. | MIA | I am the creator of many articles, including one featured UnBook. I am also a captain of the Grue Army. I have also made some nice templates, but I don't do good images. | I am adopting because too many n00b articles are deleted. |
| Ljlego | Yup | ....Sure | Always on | I have made my mark, whatever that means to you. Put it this way, I write articles, some of which are good. I have 22.5 features as of yet. I try to help out with maintenance, and you can ask me generally anything about code. If I don't know, then I'll totally spork it from someone who does and take credit. My first graduate is Andorin Kato, and he's a good guy. | I adopt because I too was a n00b once. I like to help people. Ask away! I'll say four kids, with one slot currently free. |
| Mhaille | Maybe | Pick up the phone, I'm always home. Call me any time. | Always on | In a round about way this crazy page was actually my idea. Fairly decent record with featured images and articles, I consider myself pretty n00b-friendly. | Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap. |
| Heerenveen | No, but once mistaken for one. | Ready and waiting... | Always on | Written thirteen articles, all of which were passable but not brilliant. Maintenance is more my thing; cleaning up after the vandals, reporting the one-liners etc. Originally part of the Grue Army, then worked out I was better by myself. On pretty much all afternoon, pretty much everyday, so easy to contact. | Get your free, |
| The Thinker | No (I just play one on TV) | Applications are now being accepted!* * - with $45 application fee and cost of shipping | Around | I write. A lot. I'm also quite pompous, and find it hilarious. If you are an intelligent person, fluent in the arts of subtlety and subtextual humor, I'd suggest contacting me. If you do not possess these qualities, consider yourself part of the problem (and definitely do not contact me). | You're gunna like the way you look. I guarantee it. |
| Ceridwyn | Nope | Happy to adopt! | MIA | I've been around the site since December last year, have asked every noob question in the book and tried my hand at a few bits and bobs. I may not be the most experienced Uncyclopedian but I'm genuinely happy to help noobs find their feet here, and if I don't know the answer, I know plenty of people I can ask who will! Oh and I founded the Proofreading Service, helping pages be the best they can be since, well a couple weeks ago, but business is booming and we have a great team over there! | I do accept bribes for my votes in the form of industrial strength glitter glue. |
| NeoEva88 | No :( | Looking to help a noob. | MIA | I have recently resumed Uncyclopedia after a long hiatus and am looking to help out a noob. | I would just like to help one noob at a time. |
| Capercorn | Want to, but no | READY TO ADOPT! Register an appointment with my secretary. | MIA | I've been a member of the order for just over a year now. I haven't wrote many articles, I mostly just patrol the site for Vanity, Vandalism and n00bs to welcome. I have a vast knowedge of Wikitext, and is looking to help a n00b. I vote on VFD on a semi-regular basis, now that I have a job. I come on just about every day, unless my stupid intarwebs service provider goes stupid, like it does. | 5 slots available, JOIN NOW! |
| Andorin Kato | It'd be worth it just to have the power to burninate... | Go for it. | MIA | I'm not much of an article writer, and my primary strength is finding crap and doing something about it, be it ICU or a revert or my personal favorite, QVFD. Beyond that, people are more than welcome to drop in with questions, comments, concerns; especially these "n00bs" I keep hearing so much about. I can help people get adjusted, and even provide some help with articles. Oh, and finally, if you have any formatting concerns, I'm your man. Hit me up. | One space still open. Knock yourselves out! |
| Thematrixeatsyou (AKA GreaseMonkey) | No | Take a seat. Wait, make that a couch. | MIA | I'm a nice guy, and have had a fairly good success rate with my articles. 80-95% ain't too bad, right? I have a knack with turning LOLs into ROFLs, which is a very good thing on this beautiful wiki. Plus I can code some sexy JS/CSS, so if you think the pages look ugly, I can fix it up. | I'll see how things go; if you want to be adopted, ask on my talk page. |
| Sir That Guy Huffed Me | SHOOP DA WHOOP | Please come to my Orphanage and we will play with each other | MIA | I'm a very sexy person seeking to adopt. What else you want. But seriously I'm a formal Adoptee I know how you feel. I'll give detailed explanations on how uncyclopedia works so you wont get killed. | Ask on my talk page, but you will only have a 50% chance of survival. |
| Sliferjam | Naw, love, but I do have a couch. | I will adopt you. | MIA | I am considered crazy/insane. This page pretty much sums me up. Together, we will pwn the nubes. Not the nudes. They attack your groinalds. But seriously, I will teach you my top ten ways to contribute, the best way to get unbanned, htbfanjs, how to levitate by concentrating your thoughts on a fluorescant llama, and how to get ideas. | We gonna have loads of fun. First, we're gonna memorize the time tables and then we're gonna learn the first ninety million digits of pi. |
| RAHB | Pish Posh | Most of my adoptees are inactive. I can take another. Bring it oooooon. | Around | I've been around over a year now. In that time, I've developed a stunning reputation for writing good articles (now and then) and for taking leaves of copious and unannounced absence (now and then). I've graduated several award-winners (or rather, one winner of several awards). And YOU can be the next one if you follow your dreams! | I got the good, baby! |
| TheLedBalloon | lol no. Wait.... | Weeeeellllllllll... maybe just one more... | Always on | I've been around the site for almost a year now, and actually graduated from Mordillo via AAN. But, I've been pretty active around the uncyc, and already have a few featured pages and won a couple of awards. I have a bit of know-how, and could probably be helpful to any n00b that needs | If you can pull the sword from this stone, you are the true n00b that I must adopt. Or, perhaps not. Worth a try, right? |
| Pongo Version 2 | Nein. | I'll be looking forward to meeting you. | MIA | I've been on Uncyclopedia quite a while, but I'm not the best writer. To be quite honest, what few articles I've done articles suck(ed). I'd probably be considered a better writer if I were on the ED. Unfortunately, the ED sucks. I am only really any good at making text adventures. However, I can give you some advice about the wiki. I'm not going to give you a load of crazy promises that I don't know how to keep. I'll just answer your questions and that'll be that. | 0_o |
| Severian | Nah. | Sword Sharpening Serviced Here | MIA | I've been here for a long time, I can answer most anything, and if I don't know the answer I know who or where to get it. I need to get more involved anyway, I took a long break. I live in Germany and if you need info for articles or ideas, let me know. I lurk sometimes in IRC. | Your head hangs in the balance. |
| DiZ | I don't have the heart for it, I'm afraid. | Currently accepting applications. Meet me in my office. Bring lotion. Lots of it. | MIA | Been on Uncyclopedia for over a year. I've written more than 40 articles in my time, and I have one feature to show for it. I know how this place runs, and I am willing to lend my talents and wisdom to a younger generation. Join me and you shall have eternal life. | I was trained by the one and only Apecat. I think I've said enough. |
| THEDUDEMAN | Was nominated one time, but I didnt get much support because of all the nominees. | Yea | Always on | I've been here for sence mid April of 2007. I've writen a few articles, 1 featured. I'm more of a behind the scenes guy. I know almost everything about how this place works. I'm on usually for most of the day and open to questions or comments | That one guy I adoped disapeared a few months ago, so I'll give it another go. |
| Starnestommy | Not yet, anyway | I am willing to adopt depending on my availability. | Always on | I've been here since December 24th, 2006. Since then, I have written a couple of articles (just one featured), reverted a lot of vandalism, helped found the Grue Army, and spent several hours on IRC helping people out. I know a lot about templates, wikicode, and many other technical aspects of this wiki. Having been a reformed vandal, I am willing to help vandals stop their evil ways and do good. | Prefers to use IRC over talk pages and forums. |
| Thekillerfroggy | Yes. | Sorry ladies, I'm taken! | Always on | I do lots of stuff when lots of stuff is available to be done. Recently, there's really been nothing to do. So I guess I do nothing. Especially not Pee Reviews. | I only adopt users who are better than me. |
| Cainad | Ha, ha! No. | Abso-fricken-lutely. | MIA | I've been a regular user here since February 2006. In that time, I've written about two dozen articles: most of them are mediocre, a few are good, and one was featured. My sense of humor is more droll than most, but I know basic formatting rules and what to look for in an article. If you want an adopter that totally won't overshadow you, I might be your ticket out of n00bdom. No refunds. | |
| Clorox | Been here for a while, but no. | Nah. | MIA | I used to be a regular user, but then I kinda stopped for some reason... now I'm just here every once in a while. Dah dah dah daaaaah dah da-da-daaaaah dadah. | Zero, I'm not very active... but I can still help n00bs anyway. |
| gwax | Yes | Quick questions, issues and mediation only | MIA | I've been an admin here since late 2005 and a user for even longer, making me a bit of an old hat by now. My primary activities on Uncyclopedia involve deleting lots and lots of bad material and trying to improve the systems/community of Uncyclopedia. Further information may be found on my user page. | Not accepting adoptees but will answer policy questions and mediate disputes |
| The UnIdiot | No, but I'm cool and sexy like them! | Yes, but only if you like being awesome. | Around | I'm fairly new here, but feel I can help out other new members. I have a bunch of featured articles, and am decent at a lot of things around here. I do a bunch of audio stuff, including UnTunes and article narrations. I'm probably not the best for extremely detailed advice on writing, but I can give you general advice, and show you what people here will and will not consider funny. My Adoptee won Noob of the Month. So, to sum it up, I'm awesome. | 1 space left for a cool n00b. I'd prefer IRC over talking over talkpages, but both are fine. Contact me at my Talk Page to sign up. |
| THE | Nope!!!111 | Yee-ah! | Around | I've been a membah for over a year now. I konsider myself highly n00b-friendly, and that's why I want YOU to | 1 space available. |
| MrN9000 | Nope | If you have a few good contributions under your belt, and intend to be around a while, I'm all yours. | Around | I have been around since November 2007 and have some idea of what's going on... Feel free to contact me via my talk page if you're interested in adoption. | Adopted N00b of the month February 2008. Are you next? |
| Shandon | Not interested...I *write*. | Available...to the right candidate | Around | Go to my user page, and if that gives you the idea I might be able to help, drop me a line. | Been here since summer '06. |
| Kaizer the Bjorn | Not at liberty to disclose that information. | I'll be glad to adopt you, as long as you're active. | I check the site almost constantly, and I'm trying to be more active in IRC. | I've been here almost three(3) years now, so I can help you with rules, guidelines, and appropriate conduct. I do a lot of image work, and I do professional graphic designer, so if you'd like to improve in that area I would love to help you out a lot. I've gone MIA for a six month period once, only once though. I try to write and occasionally succeed, although my articles seem to have a moderate standing on VFH for the most part. Drop by my userpage for more information. Although there isn't much there besides awards I've won. Talk to me here. | Just stay active while I'm here. Feel free to ask about anything. Seriously, ANYTHING. There's no need to be shy. |
| Luvvy | Not me. Not gonna happen yet, either. | You like to be cuddled, right? | I am around practically on a daily basis, I can provide services in three to eleven languages, depending on whether or not you understand my dialect of gibberish... | I'm not too old myself on this site's standards, but I'm one that everyone loves... Pop in anytime and have a look at my userpage for more information. There's a lot of (mis)information there. Talk to me here or follow the link on the navigation bar on my userpage to my IRC-office. | Lives around GMT, and prefers those who are awake at European times... GMT! GMT! GMT! GMT! GMT... |
| SysRq | Ew. No. | Full up. | Alive. Also on IRC. | Been here under the username Gustav since October of 2006, switched to this new one around November of 2007. I'm currently a Commander of the Order, writer of two (2) featured articles, and winner of RotM. I specialize in Pee Reviews if that's what you're looking to get into. (which we always need more Pee Reviewers!) Beloved by the admins, I'm a great person to ask about rules and such. I'm pretty much always here, too. I look out for my noobs and I've been known to fix up their userpages and sigs and stuff in case they're not so good with wiki markup. | I live in the good 'ol EST, although I'll take pretty much anyone who's willing to work hard and commit to making themselves into good and productive Uncyclopedians. |
| YesTimeToEdit | How dare you insinuate that! I most certainly am not an admin! | Unfull up for the moment. Contact me on my talkpage if you want to be adopted! | Practically live on Uncyclopedia. | I've written about 17 (?) articles and I won Noob of the Month and World's Best Friend in April and the RotM and UNPotM awards in June. I'm also a Commander of the Order. I've also recently become a PEEING Steel Kidney! Yayo! I'm happy to help make sigs, userpages and talkpages and I'm pretty good with wiki coding. I love helping people, so, yeah... Also I make very nice cookies! You want to slob around Uncyclopedia eating cookies, don't you? Oh and I come from El Britannia. | Two (2) spaces available! |
| Orian57 | No | Willing to adopt | Technically unemployed and no Boyfriend comitments or anything. Here all the time basically. | Not written loads but what I have written was adequet(ish) though I am planning a few articles that I think may be excelent. For some reason I'm still a PEEING fresh stain despite being one of the top 5 reviewers and currently nominated RotM. Also on the welcomming committee. I think I have a pretty good idea of what I'm doing around here and would be happy to help. If I can't though I'll just ask YTTE. And I too am British. | Contact me on my talk page if you desire adoption. |
| Darktruth2 | . | Adopting now! | Check up on my articles every couple o' days, sometimes write some new stuff. Specializes in writing "pseudo-science": total crap disguised as science. | Been around for a while now, just graduated from n00b status. Learned the ways of Uncyc from copying and pasting templates and the like. | Contact me on my talk page. |
| DJ Irreverent | I got raped by one once | Open like a fox! | Alive. Also on IRC. | Been here since January '08, knocked up a few features, on track for WotM. I suggest you read my articles and see if you like them (contextual humor, puns, intelligent references, one liners...) before you come begging to me. I'll make a writer of you. Comes with free Cajek! Must like voting for my shit, wiping my ass, complimenting me on my wiped ass... | *Be warned you will be locked into a 10 year loan forever!!!!! Come on, soiled matresses are hardly cheap... especially ones with Cajek's fapping stains on it!* |
| Cajek | HA! that would be SO AWESOME! | I'll hook you up | Here a lot of the time | Uh, "previous" student of the master, TheLedBalloon. WotM, WHotM, RotM, Useless GOBSHITE of the month, FIYC, platinum reviewer, 16.5 features. I have previously adopted two, who are doing pretty good, despite talking about that soiled mattress where everyone can see it! | Contact me on my talk page, doods and doodettes. |
| Fag | I've had so many in me that I practically am one | Well, I can't have any of my own | Active. Sometimes on IRC | Initially adopted by THE, Commander of the Order, one (aww, only one?) featured article, a few nominations for RotM, PEEING member, FotM creator, TYATU star (so what if it was one line! It's on my CV nonetheless) oh, and I recently had a few-month absence, so I feel a little redundant. Go on, ask to be adopted, I want to give something back! | See my talk page... and not just for adoption, if you get what I mean, wink wink, nudge nudge, |
| An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays | You don't want an admin. They just spend their whole time talking about rollback and checkuser and bansticks. What you want is a cool young anarchist like me! | Accepting. | Active!!! | I've been a contributor for a while now, and written literally several articles (including a few features and a Poo Lit Surprise winner - for which I got $20 and "respect" so I've decided to give something back to the community I've | 1 Space available. |
