Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/April 9
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April 9: Wester (Eastern Unorthodox) National kiss a stranger then beat them day
- 2566 BC - First lame prop comic headlines European cave, is subsequently fed to sabretooth tigers.
- 37 AD- Jesus moves in with our father
- 1441 - Marilyn Manson invents electricity with the help of his then girlfriend, Barack Obama
- 1601 - Strom Thurmond born.
- 1895 - Oscar Wilde arrested for for being "really really gay ".
- 1886 - AMA Approves using steam powered vibrators to deal with epidemic of housewives depression - population placated by modern medical treatments!
- 1900 - Personal electric vibrators designed for home use introduced; AMA deems home treatments as "a threat to a good Christian woman's stability" is now in the wrong hands"
- 1943 - Adolf Hitler takes a shit when he learns that the Russians are holding out in Leningrad
- 1944 - German regiments in Italy thumb their noses at US General George Patton.
- 1944 - Patton returns fire by sticking out his tongue; adds an old fashioned "Nanny, nanny, bo bo" for good measure.
- 1949 - Little Orphan Annie shoots and kills five in a bank robbery.
- 1968 - Martin Luther King, Jr. joins the Diet of Worms.
- 1996 - Wendy's researchers find the beef.
- 2000 - Public disfarbulation outlawed due to pot heads seriously creeping people out.
- 2006 - Ryan neglects to maintain property rights of North Shore Syndicate resulting in massive public outcry and riots. Thousands die in the ensuing tsunami.
- 2007 - Sound of Music celebrates 40 years of boring families on Easter evening television.
- 2008 - Nowruz arrives at Princeton, Mercer County, New Jersey, USA. Baba-Nowruz has been quoted to be very angry about public trasportation in that region.
