Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 1
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
July 32: Independence Day (Switzerland): Day of Drive-By-Shooting (Los Angeles)
- 607 - Ono no Imoko, hearing about new his envoy job to the Sui court in China, reportly said "Ono no Inogo !".
- 1645 - French general Marcus Hum declare war on pants.
- 1646 - The King of France ZengRong executed Marcus and surrenders to itself.
- 1647 - Zeng Rong surrenders it's pants, itself then surrenders itself to the void and floats downstream.
- 1781 - The Puebla of Los Angeles has it's first drive-by-shooting as a disgruntled Indian medicine man on horseback shoots an arrow in the back of a hippie for stealing from his marijuana field.
- 1910 - Los Angeles celebrates it's first drive-by-shooting from a car, a Ford Model T. However, the culprit is quickly apprehended by LAPD, who were chasing on foot.
- 1919 - the people of Zimbabwe elect their first lord high bison
- 1923 - Calvin Klein proclaims himself Emperor of Cologne, Germania.
- 1949 - "Happy Ending" first added to a massage.
- 1957 - Rod Serling ticketed in the Middle Ground between Light and Shadow for driving Noon in a Twilight Zone.
- 1979 - Australia's first kangaroo prime minister is elected.
- 1981 - MTV airs on cable, declares victory.
- 1983 - Something happened, but nobody can remember what it was.
- 1986 - Soviet Union invades the United States in President Ronald Reagan's mind.
- 1988 - Sir Thomas Coffee dies from AIDS during a drive-by shooting.
- 1991 - President Clinton starts to integrate all the States of Eurasia by building an interstate (I-2) from Dublin, Ireland to Tokyo, Japan.
- 1992 - Emperor Bush Sr. builds a train route from Anchorage, Alaska to Buenos Aires, Argentina to integrate America.
- 1995 - Monumental Supreme Court case Money vs. Looks decided.
- 2004 - Bob Saget comes out of the closet.
- 2004 - Kansas melted by Nebraskan Death Ray.
- 2006 - Lebron went to Lebanon to find out why his name is so silly. He discovers that his name is not derived from Lebanon, but a chip shop in Bromford.
- 2006 - Seeking the same, Anfernee goes to his birth certificate.
- 2006 - MTV turns 25 years old, now 24 years older than its target demographic. Viacom surrenders to France.
- 2009 - The NFL folds and is replaced by the National Lacrosse League on NBC.
- 2254 - A sad day in world history. The last male platypus dies, leaving the species no chance.
