Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 21

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December 21: Personal Hygiene Day

• 678 BC - Sodomy discovered in Greece.
• 677 BC - Death penalty instituted in Greece.
• 631 BC - The War of 1812 ends.
• 477 BC - Stinky Greek hobo Socrates roams the streets of fudge packing Athens, claiming he knows nothing. As a result, the goofy Greeks regard him as the greatest sage that ever lived.
• 322 BC - Megalo-maniac Alexander the Great turns out to be a regular fag. In a letter to Aristotle, he confesses that the smell of male toil 'turns him on'.
• 10 BC - Roman emporer Politemus IV invents the square wheel. Round wheels were outlawed under pain of death.
• 1500 - Middle Ages officially end; Europeans can finally start taking care of their personal hygiene little by little.
• 1939 Hitler invades France. After realising he would never make them wash he turned toward Russia
• 1967 The interrobang is discovered. The horrible revelation drives its discoverer instantly insane.
• 1979 Star Wars Episode XXXIV: The rising of Darth Leia comes to theaters
• 1982 - Sudan wins "Least Hygienic Country In The World Competition" for the first time. The African country has held the title ever since.
• 1984 - The first horseman of the apocalypse descended to herald the coming tribulations, but no one noticed apart from John Greeves, a homeless alcoholic from Brighton, England.
• 2000 - The bearded Taliban commanders state personal hygiene is against the will of God; in Afghanistan, pretty much the worst place ever.
• 2001 - UK prime minister Tony Blair is voted "Best Looking Twat" by the readers of Womans Realm magazine.
• 2005 - Barry Scott surpasses Batman as the Queen of Clean with Clitoris Bang.
• 2006 - Personal hygiene forced upon France by new EU ruling. The French promptly withdraw from the EU. All traces of the bathtub are destroyed and the french quickly return to smelling of bad cheese and garlic. Celebratory riots last into the new year
• 2007 - Man discovers that the white stuff on your tongue causes your breath to smell like shit. The Government promptly forces everone to brush their tongues.
• 2012 - God can't think of a good enough way to end the world, so it's delayed until further notice.