Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/February
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December
Please browse to find an anniversary, then give it a damn good editing.
Editing Guidelines
![[Insert double entendre here]](/wiki/Image:Insertpic.GIF)
- [Insert date absurdly far into the past here]- [Insert something about creationism here]
- 1500 AD - Caveman invents the kyack
- [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
- [Insert a year from 0-43 AD here] - [Insert overdone Jesus joke here]
- [Insert 1337 here] - [Insert tired, pointless noob joke here]
- A Peruvian Boeing 737 crashes in the Andes - killing 123 people. pwnt by mountains ;[
- [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
- [Insert date that doesn't follow the given order at all] - [Insert sexual innuendo with[insert name here] and [insert name here] along with an event that defys logic]
- [Insert year here] - [Insert overdone European reference here]
- [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
- [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
- [Insert completely random date here] - [Insert absurd event here]
- [Insert year here] - [Insert event here]
- [Insert year here] - [Insert denial of event here]
- 2006 - James Blunt admits he was fed helium as a child and recommends it too the youth of today
- [Insert 20X6 here] - [Insert tired, pointless Stinkoman reference here]
- [Insert A.D. 2101 here] - [Insert tired, pointless All Your Base reference here]
- [Insert date absurdly far into the future here] - [Insert joke about robot overlords here]
- [Insert (absurdly large number times two absurdly large numbers)AD here] - [Insert worn out and over used joke about a clone of your mother and me here].
February 2: Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni
- CA 3541 - Emit Tsrif Eht Rof Sdrawkcab Skaeps Yessirrom Nhoj.
- CA 8361 - Dednuof Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni.
- CA 0591 - Dedne Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni.
- CA 0462 - Dednuofer Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni.
- CA 6002 - Detucexe Lyo Evilo Sah Hsub, Noinu Eht Fo Etats Eht Ot Esnopser Ni
- 0202 - Setad fo tuo nekat 'CA'.
- 6X02 - !!Ecued Elbuod
- 1942 - secnetnes sdrawkcab stnevni tluc txet der
- 2006 !AAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA
- 173461 - Niaga - Dedne Yad Ecnetnes Sdrawkcab Lanoitanretni!
- 164374 - serac ydoboN.
February 3: Go Fuck a Groundhog Day
- 10 - 10th February 3rd EVER!
- 235 - The moon was invented by rouge cave dwelling ducks from South Africa.
- 1194 - Saladin I gets it on with Pandhragati Phil, a local groundhog, causing it to snow in Arabia.
- 1903 - Inspired by hearing a story about how Theodore Roosevelt refuses to shoot a bear on the grounds that it was injured and elderly, and besides, "it's no fun if they can't run fast enough to almost make it before I blow their brains out", Morris Michtom and his wife Rose introduce the first teddy bear in America.
- 1942 - Singapore falls. Denmark trips, but says he's all right and gets up again.
- 1992 - Prefix "e-" is invented. Kitten death rate triples.
- 1995 - Bill Murray repeats himself.
February 4: Festival of Destroying AAAAAAAAA! Clones
- 2005 All cats are blown up in apocalyptic fury.
- 2006 - All dogs are blown up in apocalyptic fury.
- 2007 - All people who use Binary or Morse codes are blown up in apocalyptic fury.
- 2008 - All people who use stupid language are now blown up in apocalyptic fury.
- 2009 - Only AAAAAAAAA! is left, but some idiot blows that up in apocalyptic fury.
- 2010 - 1337 speak remains. 7h3r3 c4n b3 0n1y 0n3!!!eleven!!!one!! Then, even the mighty 1337 speak is (purposely) blown up in apocalyptic fury.
- 2011 - World is overrun by post-apocalyptic furries.
- 2013 - Earth finally commits suicide, unable to bear with what now populates it. (The shame, oh the shame.)
- 2020 - Earth dresses as a dog and yiffs Mars in an apocalyptic furry.
- Now - Several pages are orphaned Do your bit and find them a good home
February 5: Peyton Manning does everything including playing in the Super Bowl Day
- 406 - Peyton Manning sacked by the Central Asian Huns in Super Bowl -MDLXI... wait, that was the Romans... my bad.
- 1066 - Peyton Manning, king of Normandy, conquers England.
- 1152 - Peyton Manning almost makes it to Super Bowl -DCCCXV but he loses the AFC Championship after getting sacked five times by the Frankfurt Galaxy's linebacker Frederick Barbarossa.
- 1215 - Peyton Manning thinks up concept of Magna Carta.
- 1492 - Peyton Manning sails the ocean blue.
- 1588 - Peyton Manning defeats the Spanish Armada.
- 1688 - Peyton Manning takes power in England after the Glorious Revolution. Indianapolis Colts QB William of Orange offers to trade jobs with him. Peyton accepts.
- 1776 - Peyton Manning leads the Continental Army across the Delaware River in an assault on Trenton, NJ.
- 1788 - Peyton Manning secretly ghostwrites one of the Federalist Papers. Sadly, he forgot which one.
- 1813 - Peyton Manning exiled to Elba.
- 1995 - Peyton Manning is forced to freshman practice squad after younger brother Eli Manning punches him in the crotch for stealing the last Fruit-by-the-foot.
- 1996 - Peyton Manning studies for sociology quiz.
- 1998 - Peyton Manning goes snorkeling in the Bahamas.
- 2000 - Peyton Manning numb from another disapointing season, helps express his grim emotions by co-fouding the band Hawthorn Hights.
- 2001 - Peyton Manning chats with Saudi leader concluding in "Hey, have you ever tried a flight simulator, real-stuff??".
- 2003 - Peyton Manning plays Bocce with Marvin Harrison.
- 2006 - Peyton Manning sits on couch with a brewskie, watches repeats of Real World/Road Rules Challenge on MTV and tries to figure out how Beth got to be captain.
- 2006 - Peyton Manning Is revealed to be Superman
- 2007 - Peyton Manning Timetravels.
- 2007 - Peyton Manning comes out as a nazi and eats Polish Sausage with his defeated team.
- 2008 - Peyton Manning holds Climate Change meeting with The Grinch.
- 2019 - Peyton Manning, in a confused spasm of rage, accidentally misprints the date of the year while filing his taxes and is whisked away to the year 2019. He is saddened to learn that he will only play in the Super Bowl once in his lifetime.
February 6: Nihilism Day
February 7: National Don't Memorize Your Lines Day
- 33 - Jesus memorized his lines.
- 1756 - Oscar Wilde opens in a play for which he did not memorize his lines. He improvs the whole play, to everyone's amazement. This dialogue was the basis for Wilde's 'The Importance of Being Ernest'. It also lead the consequent discovery of cheese.
- 1823 - ummmmm... Line!
- 1876 - Steam locomotive forgets its lines, derails, crashes, kills hundreds. Fuckwit.
- 1901 - Sherlock Holmes forgets his "lines".
- 1968 - Two Runners have their gold medals taken away in the Mexico City Olympics because they had their lines memorized
- 1975 - American troops in Vietnam forget their lines. The A team were wrongly accused of this. They promptly escaped using a combination of Bill Clintons cigars, a cabbage launcher and Mr T's pity. The rest is history.
- 1991 - A flood takes to Norways streets.
- 1998 - OMEs were going to declare war on the emos....but they forgot their lines.
- 2005 - This was the day the All Mighty Muffin Lord took over Earth Beta. He conquered the previous ruler, because he had his lines memorized.
- 2007 - All Mighty Muffin Lord forgets his lines and is killed by the Earth Beta version of Peyton Manning (who is, in this timeline, a neo-Nazi overlord).
- 2008 - Don't know what happened today? Well if you'd learned your lines you'd know what this was going to say. Tough shit.
February 8: Worship an Idol day (Canaan), Weorshcipe an Heathern God Dai (Eald England)
- 33 BC - Jesus visits 50 people at the same time and laughs about how they try to explain in while watching from his cloud
- 4527 BC - The Eald Englanders worship Odin, although he had not yey got an official
god licence (for your own contact 0800-GOD-LICENCE-PLEASE (US only)), as he was licenced under Zeus (0300).
- 1856 BC - Hebrews arrive at the Promised Land, start worshipping Baal (then no licence, now under 2110).
- 1020 BC - Rome built in 23hours and 58 minutes
February 9: International Tourettes Day
- 1012 - Anglo-Saxons tell the Normans to POOPY their JACKASS with a BULLCRAP.
- 1066 - In the Battle of Hastings, ASSHOLE happens.
- 1222 - MY COUSIN AND I TOUCHED WIENERS.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus begins his first journey across the Atlantic, and gets GOD DAMMIT.
- 1812 - Canada and The United States go to DOUCHE NAZI war. Nobody notices.
- 2005 - After placing her pen on the table, Keira Knightley was then seen to BOLLOCKS fall asleep.
- 2008 - Steve SUCK MY DICK Ballmer plans not to FUCKING KILL™ people, but to POO POO BLOWJOBING KILL™ them instead.
- 2009 - Dick Cheney dies. SHITSLINGING.
February 10: International Bad Pun Day
- 1104 - Potato famine engulfs Ireland. Panhandling Leprechauns flood the cities because they're a little short
- 1105 - Irish Potato Phantom claims responsibility for bitter harvest.
- 1390 - Bread is invented. Everybody proposes a toast to the inventor of bread.
- 1391 - Sliced Bread is invented. This is the greatest thing invented since bread itself.
- 1392 - Toast is invented. Everybody proposes a bread to the inventor of toast.
- 1890 - Oscar Wilde's new play "Pun" is first performed in London. Critics describe it as a "play on words".
- 1950 - Future French actor Jean Reno is asked whether he wants to go to the toilet. "Oui, Oui" he replies.
- 1951 - Avocado discovers the mol. Scientific community dismisses him when he claims that they are not, in fact, brown and fuzzy.
- 1954 - Inventor of the handshake chokes while ingesting his own creation. Doctors attempted to finger force the patient but couldn't nail the problem in time. He died on the way to the hospital.
- 1965 - Pele gets his balls kicked by a fellow team member. Fortunately, his club is able to replace them and allows him to continue training.
- 1970 - Winnie the Pooh's son is born, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
- 1973 - Describing his spiritual journey into heavy metal, Jimmy Page admits that he was "led" into it.
- 1975 - Colorado Christian Boarding School-boy Dick Face is insulted for the first time. I would not be his last.
- 1980 - Various case studies indicate you can put things in them and carry them by their handles.
- 1981 - Bono and The Edge agree that they, too, like the Canadian Punk band "U".
- 1985 - Das Boot, a German film about gender neutral enclosed footwear, is released.
- 1996 - "Punny" added to the Oxford dictionary. Subsequent bonfire nearly engulfs America.
- 1997 - During a fight with Evander Holyfield, Mike Tyson's British trainer exclaims "What's this 'ere?"
- 1999 - The world's first cyborg can't fix himself because he is broke.
- 2067 - The Roman Catholic church is finally bereft of nuns. There were none left.
- 2100 - Hugh Gass realises he has a huge arse.
- 477 - Lorem Ipsum, dolor sit amet,
- 530 - Consectetuer adipiscing elit.
- 844 - Suspendisse commodo magna.
- 917 - Fusce fermentum odio sed libero.
- 1120 - Suspendisse auctor ornare libero.
- 1285 - Phasellus non mauris nec nibh cursus vulputate.
- 1346 - Curabitur fringilla metus sit amet eros.
- 1417 - Aenean pretium,
- 1508 - Mi vel pretium ultrices,
- 1609 - Urna justo cursus nunc,
- 1663 - Sed fringilla ligula sapien vel nulla.
- 1776 - Rome is invaded by Barbarians, meaning you don't have to learn what this means.
- 1873 - Some idiot decides that you should learn it anyway, and Latin classes are created.
- 1920 - "Forma papillarum quam fuit apta premit" is translated for the first time by a 13 year old. Sniggering is invented.
- 1944 - Omesay idiotay illskay ethay astlay idiotay anday ecidesday atthat ouyay ouldshay earnlay Igpay Atlinlay insteaday.
- 1975 - Vae victus!
- 1989 - Carpe abdominum, caveat nauseum, jetsam creamius cornium. Ecch.
- 2006 - Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est, urbs habet octo colles.
- 2007 - The Latin-Canadian war ends.Canada is the victor.
- 2008 - Futue te ipsum et caballerum tuum
February 12: International write in Graeco-Latin day (Graeco-Rome)
- 3+3=3: Rutty, toot, toot, toot'n Graneco-Labrador fiesta!
- 444: Yo' momma.
- 555: Stan's stanies, the Stannites, instan Stan.
- 666: Satan's satanies, the Satannites, insatan Satan.
- 777: Santa's santaies, the Santaites, insanta Santa.
- 888: With No one left, the Barbarians invade Rome for the sake of it.
- 999: To commemerate this loss, Graceo-Roman Day is celebrated. We just wanted to tell you the history first.
- 1809: The holy profit of Evolutionism, Charles Darwin is born.
- 101010: Ouidis cognis qui, ma Helle-Romanis di est non iubil.
- 111111: Id qua.
- 121212: Extra insanis numers plus ad datus.
- 131313: Lorem Ipsum, dolar sit amet...
- 1337-1337: L0rem 1p5um, d01ar 5i1 am31000
- 141414: Igpay Atinlay inay useay.
- 151515: Pigay Greekay niay seiay.
- 161616: Gpiay Reekgay-Manroay inay eusay.
- 181818: Ganroay peekhay roy.
February 13: Simple English for Republicans Day
- 33 - A important man that pronounced himself the ruler of all that is happening right now is made dead by people who take your money.
- 1337 - Important king man become king today.
- 1500 - Discovoury of primary colououeurs (oh shite sourry)
- 1801 - Funny quote man say, "I decide to make quote that is dumbed down."
- 1939 - Man with mustache want other country. Other country no like it very much.
- 1948 - Nice brown man with glasses killed. Everyone sad because he want peace.
- 1984 - Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter !, and children eveywhere confused.
- 1985 - Mr. Movie Star Man tell bad communist men to be communist no more.
- 1997 - Big Nasty Man make boo-boo with yummy woman. Big Nasty Woman go foo-foo! Yay!
- 2000 - Mr. Smarty Man becomes President and sets example for we like us.
- 2001 - Two building fall down. Everyone sad.
- 2005 - Subway in big city collapse. Everyone still sad.
- 2006 - Very important man shoots other man. Third man sad. We mad. Everyone else glad.
- 2009 - Mr. Black Man go to big white house. We sad. Everyone else glad.
- 2010 - Little man go to space and die. We rejoice! Yay!
February 14: International Suck Day
- 32 - Jesus Christ contracts bad case of crabs from Mary Magdalene.
- 35 - New cure for crabs invented that does not involve crucifiction.
- 69 - Two young lovers get it on in a groovy new position.
- 269 - St Valentinus is castrated, horsewhipped and disembowelled. 1500 years later, this day is celebrated through romance.
- 1799 - Bad pun day in history - Apparently, James Cook was killed on the Sandwich Islands. Historians aren't laughing.
- 1852 - Ash Ketchum says "I choo choo choose you" to Ted Williamson shortly before his death by being hit by a train.
- 1917 - In Soviet Russia, woe is you
- 1994 - Canada successfully build space shuttle capable of flying to Earth
- 2000 - Some people are woefully alone on this day.
- 2001 - Everyone who was woefully alone in 2000 is still alone on this day.
- 2002 - They're still woefully alone.
- 2003 - One of the people who is woefully alone proposes an alternative holiday, entitled Go Out With A Loser Who Has Never Had A Date Day. However, no girl will still talk to him.
- 2004 - Not willing to give up, the guy who made the holiday in 2003 decides to make Trek-mance Connection. Now, even nerdy girls still won't talk to him, and everyone mocks his horrible naming skills.
- 2005 - Lonely guy starts an Emo band. Bandmates ask him not to name the band. Girls still won't talk to him.
- 2009 - St Valentinus is reborn and executed for the second time for molesting small farm animals.
- 2010 - St Valentinus is reincarnated as a charismatic frog and gets away with years of outrageous self-abuse.view -
February 15: Inexplicably Heart-Themed Candy Suddenly Gets Severe Discounts Day
- 11,000 BC - World War -5 1/2 occurs. Your mom goes to college, attempts to get degree in being hairy.
- 6006 BC - YHWH is brought into existence, destroying several pan-dimensional beings.
- 399 BC - The government kills some bloody git after the masses grow weary of his rambling.
- c. 260 - Crows feast of the remains of some Christian dude, declare him "pinion-licking good".
- 1898 - The crew of the USS Maine bite it when Fidel Castro sinks the ship with torpedoes from his magic hovercraft then dumps the evidence in Spain.
- 1933 - Some Italian jerk tries to shoot some elderly dude with injured legs who can't run. The jerk becomes awfully surprised when the injured guy lives and he bites it in prison. Should've taken a page from that Teddy guy.
- 1950 - In Soviet Russia, mutual defense treaty with China signs YOU!!
- 1951 - In Soviet Russia, Inexplicably Heart-Themed Candy buys YOU!!
- 1974 - Grand Funk Railroad records the song, "Suicide is a Bitchin Ride," just before they all died in a plane crash.
- 1983 - Jennifer Marsh found love, got married to Rick a few years later, had a few kids.
- 2005 - She thought her life was perfect until this day, when she found out Rick was sleeping with his secretary. Oops.
- 2005 - Rick and secretary found murdered in office.
- 2006 - Emo boy didn't get anything for Valentines Day. Nothing changes.
- 2007 - Emo boy receives a box of used condoms from neighbour who had been pretty busy on the previous day. It was the turning point of his life.
- 2008 - <insert name here> reads todays anniversaries, goes on shooting spree and puts a bullet in his/her head shortly afterwords.
- 2010 - Denmark officialy goes to war with Iran over the Mohammed Cartoon Controversy. Your mom graduates college, gets an AA degree.
- 2011 - Iran and Denmark simutaneously blow each other up. The rest of the world realizes that they dont give a shit.
- 2156 - The Kool Aid guy retires.
- 1214 - Alligators gained their own parliament (no one was impressed)
February 16: Abolition of Human Rights Day (South Africa), International "That's what she said!" Day
- 1792 - Frenchmen celebrate new Rights of Man by beheading people they disagree with.
- 1861 - American Civil War begins with argument over whether black people should be owned and mistreated or just kicked around and mistreated.
- 1917 - The Russian Revolution begins in Soviet Russia.
- 1924 - Human Rights abolish Soviet Russia.
- 1949 - Nineteen Eighty-Four published. It was a book written to commemorate the upcoming first year of the alienation of human rights.
- 1968 - The endless war ends.
- 1984 - Nineteen Fourty-Nine published. It commemorated the 35th anniversary of the commemoration of the first year of the alienation of human rights. Both books are offically recognized as doubleplusgood by officials.
- 1985 - Nineteen Eighty-Four is "unofficially" taken out of circulation. This move was entirely the publisher's choice, and had nothing to do with the government.
- 1989 - Tonka wins contract to supply China with toy tanks to run over protestors.
- 2001 - The endless war is revived under the name "War on Terror".
- 2006 - All human rights cease to be meaningful in the United States as the Republican Party legalizes the hunting of humans. Cheney gets first shot.
- 2006 - George W. Bush abolishes human rights in the United States of America. NSA uncovers the body of George W. Bush jr. in a mason jar together with some pickles which they then ate.
- 2008 - General Grievous starts smokeing menthols..... Quickly changes back to reds.
- 2007 - Cheney wipes out all Democrats in the White House with his shotgun. Dismissed as a hunting accident.
- 2009 - George W. Bush is trampled to death by a heterophobic gay horny rhino on a visit to Nigeria.
- 2010 - 'The War on Terror' is re-named 'The War on people looking at you funny'
- 2345 - Dick Cheney has sex with a horse. Centaurs are born.
- 2395 - Cheney Centaurs roam the earth wielding shotguns and shooting everyone in the face in various hunting accidents.
- 9595 - Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past travels back in time to harass you.
February 17: International Gay, Lesbian, Transexual and Bisexual (GATTICA) Day. Everyone edit User:Nodnarb's page. (keep it gay)
- 28 BC - Jesus informs his disciples that he's gay. They all laugh at his little joke and proceed to gangbang Mary Magdelene.
- 2001 - HAL 9000, a homophobic computer, attempts to kill two gay dudes on a spaceship. Hilarity ensues.
- 2004 - People named Gaylord are rapidly asked if they have ever watched the television show "Gaylords say no". Most say no.
- 2006 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.
- 2008 - USA bombs some country because one of its citizens made some USA guy get STDS.
- 3010 - Iraq War resolved to the saisfaction of all thanks to the complete absence of Iraq.
February 18: Penis Day (not Canada)
- 1337 - Penises discovered. Men worldwide decide to stand up to go to the toilet.
- 1338 - Women invent Penis Envy.
- 1658 - Bestiality killed the cat
- 1992 - Men realised that standing up to go to the toilet was ineffective when taking a dump. Urinal created for urinating purposes only
- 2010 - Teabagging becomes new US national sport
- 2011 - Your Mom moves to the America, but only for the sports
February 19: Equation Day (Pieland)
February 20:Twenty / Twenny / 7uun3d dispute day.
- 11-twenty: Twenty is the commonly accepted spelling of the word pronounced 20.
- 12-twenny: Twenny is da commonly Xepted spellin of 20.
- 13-7uun3d: U h4u3 733n 7uun3d!
- 14-20: People decide to spell
twentytwenny7uun3d20 as '20'. - 15-twenty - 16-twenny - 17-7wn3d: Disputes abowt 20 have been pwn3d by God.
- 20-20: hindsight is twenny 7uun3d
- 7uun3d-f1r57 (3n7ury: 1337 15 7h3 n4710n41 14n9u493 0f 34r7h, 50 '7uun3d' 15 7h3 (0rr3(7 593111n9 0f '20'.
February 21: Rearlee rong spelin dai (Amerika, Cannerderr and Grate Britten)
- 1769 - Ozzy Osbourne boarn.
- 1873 - 1337, 7h3 wr0ng 5p3111ng, app3ar5.
- 1895 - Wyoming and Collorado jion together as one state.
- 1919 - Wurst fowl-up of pealed bore eight buy sum-won who's grandma wee warship like yawl due ware yew mite in whales.
- 1933 - Hiter beeganz kanzer warr.
- 1936 - Grey becoumes everyoune's favourite colour
- 1976 - Vetanam conkered bye Amerikan Arme.
- 2000 - Some adventurous Uncyclopedian makes a 'Selected Anniversaries' entry which is grammatically perfect, using proper English and without spelling mistakes; his reasoning being that just because something is not true, it does not mean that it has to be nonsensical.
- 2004 - Mexican becomes official language of California.
- 2006 - So I herd u liek Mudkip.
- 2007 - Amerikass fayveryte brekfirst beecums "Scramah egg, baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy"
- 2008 - Chiknees peple dye becuz of ratz yer.
February 22: Internaional SPAM page day
- 509 BC - The first troll, Spamicarus, is caught passing off used pig shoulders as rare cuts of meat to unwilling customers and is thrown into prison. Sadly, this is both the first and last account of such a thing ever happening to a spammer.
- AD 30 - Jesus receives a letter from the king: "B UY VI@GRA AND WE W ON'T K!LL YOU--" and tosses it into the river.
- 419 - IMPORTANT BUSNESS OPPURTUNITY PROPOSAL MARIAM ABACHA NIGERIA PLEASE KEEP SECRET REPLY
- 433 - CLAIM YOUR FREE MULE!!
- 1970 - Spam, Egg, Sausage, and Spam
- 1976 - DEAR SIR, MY LATE HUSBAND HAS BEQUEATHED THE SUM OF $4.5MILLION USD...
- 1980 - GET FREE SPAM HERE! ONLY $1x10^100!!
- 1985 - A fat bear was born in TM, Hong Kong. It looks like winnie da pooh. It runs fast and loves field hockey. Its hobby is to chase a hockey ball which you know there's no way to get it. It also keeps a lovely tortoise as pet.
- 1992 - WIN A FREE iPOD!
- 1993 -
- 1994 - CLICK HERE!
- 1995 - AND HERE!
- 2001 - HOT PICS AND CHAT - CLICK HERE!!1!
- 2002 - SPAM: SPECIAL EDITION! OVER 900 HOURS OF DELETED SPAM!! !
- 2003 - %RANDOM_SUBJ%
- 2004 - THROW A DUCK AT SADDAM AND WIN - CLICK HEAR!1!!
- 2005 - It's a bull market - check out these Stock gems!!1!!11
- 2006 - NATURAL MALE ENHANCEMENT!!!!111
- 2007 - Rachel has a Birthday. 99.9999999999999% of the world doesnt care.
- 2007 - Spammers all killed by giant evil Man with no arms called Johnny Freckleton
- 2008 - Hot girls want you bad CLICK HEAR
- 2009 - CLICK HERE TO GET AN IDEAL BIN - ONLY £5X10^123456797540000000!!!!!!!!
- 2010 - CLIK HERE AND WIN FREEE SPYWARE!!!11!!!!1
February 23: 21st Anniversary of teh Internets
- 1954 - The Terminator, coming from the future, is destroyed by swamp gas over Tennessee, and its remains land in the Gore family yard. Inspired by this, Al Gore invents the Internet.
- 1966 - First pr0n photo is uploaded to the Internet. Back then it was called porn so no one could find it using the only available search engine, Public Library.
- 1994 - China connects to the Internet.
- 1994 - Taiwan is disconnected from the Internet.
- 1995 - Spam is created by Satan.
- 1996 - AOL is created by Satan.
- 1997 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 1998 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 1999 - Counter Strike is created, thus marks the beginning of 1337speak and therefore the end of the world.
- 2000 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 2001 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 2006 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 2007 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 2008 - People tire of the AOL raises its dail up rates meme.
- 2009 - In Soviet Russia, dial-up rates raise YOU!!!
the first 23rd of February ever - The 23rd of February's anniversary... of course there are countless anniversaries of that so really who cares more now than last year's anniversary?- 2010 - Homestar Runner baleets teh last comment. The Internet dies. It goes to hell.
- 2011 - George Bush gets tired of constant criticism and blows a wiener.
- 2020 - Wiener, Neustadt still hasn't recovered from the blast.
- 2029 - Skynet sends the Terminator back in time to prevent Al Gore from creating the Internet.
|  This article needs love | |
| This article is currently in a bad state, but all it needs is a little love. Please give some love by rewriting it. | ||
February 24: I don't care what day it is.
- 5 billion years ago: Universe created. Nobody was born.
- Some million years ago: All the dinosaurs died. Nobody Cared.
- 10000 BC: The first humans in the world lived in peace. Nobody cared.
- 9999 BC: They started fighting. Still, nobody cared.
- 1890: Nothing special happened. This Guy cared. He was never seen again.
- 2000: The new Millennium. Nobody gave a monkey's.
- 2006: Nothing special happened. Again. But this time, nobody cared.
- 1901: Someone travels back in time from 2007, but nobody cares.
- 2007: Some person reads Uncyclopedia. Nobody cares. Meeeeh.
- 2009: Christopher Meloni is snubbed from Oscar nominees list for his role as the Grand Wizard in Harold and Kumar 2.
- 2024: Evil Space Monkeys invade earth. Meh. Nobody Cares.
- Some million years later: World ends........Who cares??
- Never: Nobody cares, Including You. So You Don't Even Care About Your-self
- Never: Hugh Hefner is an etching, and is so morbid that he (in an unimpressed manner) mollifys from the great extension cord of Freddy Krueger!
- Never: Everybody yells "Everything considered!"
- Fuck it. Just fuck it all.
February 25: 1337 d4y (133714)
- 1966 - Palestinians informed that they are not the Chosen People. Jews celebrate, only to be told that they, also, are not the Chosen People.
- 1337 - 1337 15 c0mm0n.
- 1337 - Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein are born. The world almost explodes. They said they'd kill me if this was done in 1337.
- 1338 - 1337 mysteriously falls out of usage. Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein put into cryogenic freeze until the 20th century.
- 1980 - Al Gore creates the year 1980
- 1997 - Space is invented.
- 3137 - 173471041nrnn 1337 4494nrm 4dy.
- 7331 - 5dr4wkc4b 51 7331.
- π - F**k it, no one can read it anyway.
- 7331337 - In Soviet Russia, 1337 can't f**king read YOU!!
- ... - AFK day.
- N00B - WTFWJDFAKBZOMGLM AOROTFLOLZOMGBBQHAXNOOB13 37KAMSABP11!!111 !!1!1(WHAT THE F **K WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR ZOH MY GOD LAUGHING MY A SS OFF ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUG HING OUT LOUD ZOH MY GOD BA RBECUE HACKS NOOB LEET KOOL-AID MAN SAUSAGE AN D BACON POUTINE11!!111!!1!1)
- 1985 - Bill Gates invents Glass and pwns everyone on his computer
February 26: Famous Last Words day
- 123 BC - "To the ASSHOLE!" - Alexander the Gay
- 37 AD - "Wha..." -- Jesus, on cross
- 433 - "...." -- John Cage
- 666 - "Pity me." -- Satan (on Mr.T)
- 777 - "AAA" - AAA
- 1332 - "What's my name?" -- Anonymous , his only sentences that didn't yet quote !!!!!
- 1881 - "Who is it , Who is it" -- Billy the Kid
- 1900 - "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." -- Oscar Wilde
- 1900 - "As much as I hate him, Oscar is right. I would not want to change a thing." -- Mark Twain
- 1920 - "It can't end like this. Tell them I said something." -- Pancho Villa is hit by history's most unfortunately-timed case of writer's block.
- 1939 - "This is absurd ! This is absurd !" -- Sigmund Freud , after reading Waiting for Godot 1,111 times.
- 1939 - "No! Mine are more absurd than this crap." -- Albert Camus , in reply to Sigmund (MotherF*cker) Freud refered that his works are more absurd.
- 1939 - "Who care about absurdity , Hell are others." -- Jean Paul Sartre , in reply to Albert Camus
- 1939 - "I am dying. Please...bring me a toothpick." -- Fred, after reading Waiting for Godot 99,999 times
- 1939 - "See! This one is more absurd that you two !!" -- Jean Paul Sartre , awaken from his grave to make some last words and then sleep again.
- 1945 - "Later, suckas!" -- Adolf Hitler, in his muthafuckin' bunker, yo.
- 1945 - "Peace out, bitches!" -- Jozef Goebbels comin' at you live, also from A to the D to the Hizzle's concrete crib, yo.
- 1955 - "Watah.......Wahtah" -- Helen Keller
- 1960 - "Shaken , not St..." -- James BonBon, on being shaken to death by a bar owner before he can finish his Martini.
- 1967 - "I know you've come to kill me. Shoot, you are only going to kill a man." -- Che Guevara, where 'only going to kill a man' mean that he'll be later revived as zombie and sticker-tags.
- 1989 - "Doh!" - Homer Simpson
- 2000 - HOLD MY BEER WATCH THIS.... - Unknown
- 1999 - "Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here." -- Nostradamus, his only one prediction that came true.
- 2006 - "And this rope is of shitty quality!" -- Saddamn complaining his ass into his grave.
- 2007 - "This is an Arrow!" -- Spartan Guy from Horrible movie
- 2008 - "Phdugy'dufc eibgs'ghib kuikhigihdmvgh's" -- Cthulhu
- 2111 - "Hey Hey , My My... whatever, I'm going to die!!!" -- Neil Young
- 2175 - "I'm dying...so that I'm not going to live anymore." -- Captain Obvious
- 2175 - "Am I Dying? Really? What are "last words" anyway?" -- Captain Oblivious
- 2345 - "What's this button do???" -- George W. Bush the 7th
- 2456 - "WarniT!" -- Jesus Goffer
- The End of Everything - "Sorry for the inconvenience" God
- 1969-"This is one small step for HOLY...!"--Neil Armstrong
February 27: Banjo Impressions Day.
- 1972: Diwn diwndiwn, diwn diwn, diwn diwn, diwn diwn
- 1982: Banjo impressions are banned in Alabama during its Third Five-Year Plan
- 1985: deh de dew dew dew dew dew dew , dew........deh de dew dew dew dew dew dew , dew.
- 1986: He's got a real pretty mouth on him, don't he?
- 1994 - Top of the Flops debuts on BBC Two, earning a place at No.1 on this show results in a £10,000,000 fine. Madonna was the first Number One with Played Like a Banjo.
- 1996: Lauren Hiraldo is conceived.
- 1998: Nintendo and Rareware officially release Banjo-Kazooie, brief fad of impersonating a bear hits America
- 2006: Apple's iRon topped selling charts for the first time.
- 2007: Pokemon Olive a pokemon game was supposed to come out but didn't.
- 2040: Intel creates the world's fastest computer processor, "Idiot Inside"
- 2050: Apple sued for putting Michael Jackson in its iRon ads
- 2645: Ting Tong playing Ping pong with King Kong in Hong Kong.
- 2846: Ping-Pong merrilly on high...
- 2847: Your mom plays my banjo... if you know what I mean.
- 3007: Dr. Zoidberg plays spin the bottle with Dick Cheney and wins Bush's best tie, and a badger.
- 3009: Smart humans invent The Banjo and make 23 billion songs. Five Published, millions buy Albums, $10 made.
February 28: Bad 1337 Xpletive day (M41133714)
- 0037 - Using "eleven" or any variant in exclamation breaks no longer in vogue.
- 1337 - 4(!!!1!111!!!!eleven!!!!
- 1373 - R0( 0'D0nn1!!!!1!!!11onehundredandeleven!!
- 1733 - 58422u(!!1!!!!!1!onethousandonehundredandeleven!!!!!
- 1961 - man invents viagra.
- 3317 - U n0 1'm 4(1n9 71r3d 0f 7h15.
- 3371 - J0(|<5 |)15(0\/3|2 |-|0\/\/ 2 |_|53 1337!!!11!onethousandthreehundredthirtyseven!!2!!
- 3713 - |\|07|-|||\|6 |5 54(23|)
- 3731 - J0(|<5 |=||\|411Y |2341|23 74|-|7 TEH "P" ||\| P\/\/|\| |5 5|13|\|7z0rz!!1!!111!!lol!!!1!OMGROFLMAOZEDONG!!
- 7133 - In Soviet Russia, up fucks YOU!
February 29: Ken Foree's Birthday (USA)
Now where did I leave that thing? anniversary. The day which kids hate to be born on as they only have birthday every four years. (USA)
March 2 (Canada) -- Canadians believe that we should lose a day instead of gaining an extra one.
- 0000 - 29th of Feb is invented to piss off kids worldwide who were born on this day, just for the hell of it.
- 1900 - The whole world panics since the day seems to be missing.
- 1948 - Ken Foree is born
- 1948 - Canadians decide to mock Americans by reducing the number of days to 364. This leads to the American-Canadian War.
- 1978 - Ken Foree rises to superstardom in Dawn of the Dead at the age of 30 and then realizes he's only 7 years old.
- 1996 - Ken Foree punishes Kenan for forgetting his birthday again.
- 2000 - Ken Foree's Birthday is declared a national holiday; the uproar caused by this forces Kenan and Kel into cancellation.
- 2004 - George W. Bush postpones the next Febuary 29th until 2008.
- 2006 - President Kerry realizes a) that he did not win the election, and b) that today is actually March 1.
- 2008 - Uncyclopedia celebrates its first leap year. Awww, and I remember when it was just a little tyke in diapers...
- 2009 - President Clinton travels to Canada and can't figure out what day it is... and to make it worse, it's NOT a leap year!!!
- 2012 - 40-yr-old kid celebrates his 10th birthday.
January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October - November - December
