Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 1
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January 1: International Apocalypse Day/Day of the Resurrection of the Triple Mocha Latte (Church of Latte-Day Saints)
- 5,985,895,625 BC -- First new year ever, dots celebrate by actually moving.
- 0 - Universe re-created, killing several pan-dimensional beings.
- 1 - Dawn of the First Day (72 hours remain).
- 1 (1 hour later) - Man gets drunk and fails new years resolutions.
- 404 - The day when the sky went blank; the first 404 error in history takes place, sending a lethal shockwave into the farthest corners of the Milky way.
- 666 - End of the world doesn't occur. Many people are all like "WTF?"
- 777- The Triple Mocha Latte comes back from the dead.... and this time, it's back with a vengence
- 1912 - Women learn how to vote.
- 1955 - Guy orders a Triple Mocha Latte in San Francisco.
- 1960 - One-year anniversary of 1959 is celebrated.
- 1991 - George Bush (Sr.) overthrows the US government and establishes himself as the Emperor of America.
- 1999 - The Universe is destroyed, and is nanoseconds later replaced by something infinitely more confusing.
- 2000 - Leonard Bernstein is mauled to death by his psychotic bear parents.
- 2001 - The four horseman of the apocalypse race in the UK Grand national. War wins by a head.
- 2007 - Captain Jack is back...
- 2008 - George W. Bush succeeds in eating his own hand.
- 2008 - The attack of the 500 foot Jesus begins.
- 2048 - The fears over Y2KB are dismissed, and everyone resumes normal activities.
- 3000 - Fry gets de-freezed. Makes friends with a suicidal robot.
- 9999 - Countdown starts to Year 10000 bug. Microsoft IT consultants cloned in large vats to prepare for oncoming electronic catastrophe.
- 0000 - IT consultants fail to fix Year 10000 bug. People have come to expect this from Microsoft by now...
- 5.5/Apple/26 - The sun explodes in a supernova. The dinosaurs are rendered extinct for the second time, just like everything else (except Oscar Wilde, who had already died four times before, and Chuck Norris, who is immortal).
