Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 26
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January 26: National 'Hail Zeus' day (Greece)
- Beginning of Time - Zeus is begat by Chronos and Chaos.
- 4900 BC- Chuck Norris forms an alliance with Zeus.
- 4828 BC - Zeus calls upon the Mesopotamians to worship him. When they refuse, he shits on the lot of them and heads off to Greece.
- 3457 BC - Zeus gets it on with his wife/sister, Hera. He has Orpheus invent the banjo to provide some mood music for their wedding night. Unfortunately, the song he creates for that special occasion is later used in the film Deliverance.
- 353 - Christianity takes a whack at Zeus.
- 700 - Zeus commands the French to worship him. When they refuse, he curses them with garlic and an irrational fear of washing.
- 1879 - Zeus smites the prototype caboose to advert unflattering poetry. Unfortunately, it is reinvented three days latter.
- 1959 - Under the pen name Dr. Zeuss, Zeus begins to write children's literature. His first book is "Hop on MILF", in which a Greek god transforms into various animals in order to make out with human women.
- 1974 - Zeus curses John Boorman for using his wedding-night song in Deliverance. When Boorman's next film, Zardoz, flops, Zeus simply laughs.
- 1993 - Cedomir Vukasinovic born, soon to become the greatest Serbian tennis player to live.
- 1998 - At age 8, MagicLeprechaun has aquired more knowledge than any other human being.
- 1999 - Zeus tosses MagicLeprechaun into another dimension for being too fucking smart!
- 2002 - Zeus decides he doesn't like George W. Bush and decides to strike him down, but can't find any lightning bolts. Instead he sends him a cursed pretzel.
- 2016 - Zeus beats the crap out of YHWH on Mind of Mencia; pægans everywhere rejoice.
- 2017 - Zeus falls off a bridge and dies, ending once and for all the omnipotence sham.
