Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 10
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July 10: The Day The Earth Stood Still And Had A Smoke
- 6000 B.C. - As per the Bible, the Earth begins moving for the first time.
- 1950 - The chemical klaatu barada nikto is found to enhance the absorption of nicotine.
- 1951 - Earth stands still and lights up a Lucky Strike.
- 1952 - Earth is offered a Marlboro, but still prefers Lucky Strike.
- 1953 - Due to a cash incentive, the Earth smokes a Camel.
- 1956 - Saturn tries to bum a cigarette off of Earth, but Earth lies and says he doesn't have one.
- 1957 - Saturn says, "I just saw you open that pack. C'mon. Let me have one."
- 1958 - Not caring about the akward situation it would create Earth refuses to let Saturn have a smoke.
- 1964 - Earth asks Mercury for a light.
- 1977 - Venus annoys Earth nagging about how she cant smoke in a public Solar system
- 1993 - Captain Planet is found guilty of child molestation and is sentenced to death by lethal injection of sewage.
- 1991 - Captain raccoon is born.
- 2006.5 - Captain Obvious has a smoke. The predictable happens.
- 2010 - John Lennon's line of cigarretes, Strawberry Walrus, are found to cure cancer. Sales plummet.
