Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/March 3

March 3: International Beat Random People With a Metal Pipe Day

4328 BC - Goa Tse born.
1987 - Well, now that I've finally done it, I might as well post it on the internet.
1999 - Hey, this link doesn't look too bad. Let's see where it... OH MY GOD!
2000 - One year free of that horrid image. Hey, my friend told me to go to a site. This couldn't possibly be bad... JESUS CHRIST! COME ON!
2001 - Another link, I'm not falling for that one. But www.kittens.com, how could it be... WHY GOD WHY?!
2002 - No more links. I swear - but hey, a movie file... GOOD LORD! THEY ANIMATED IT!
2003 - It has been one year since I've gone blind, so I can now safely click on links to view webpages... "Listen to this article"?... OH COME ON! THAT IS DISTURBING.
2004 - Now that I've gone deaf, all is well. Oh what is this, an image to braille converter? Hmm, I'll take a random image off my hard drive, convert... now lets see what it feels like... Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgghh!
20X6 - Some future archeologist will uncover a server. Once getting it to work and viewing the lone image on it, he shall be forever disgusted believing our society a fan of people doing such things. He may also find the fossilized remains of Wikipedia after Oscar Wilde has eaten its brain.
2007 Serial pest who goes by the name of "Tonigol" is arrested in Sydney for "Masturbating furiously" at the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.