Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 5
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May 5: Cinco de Mayonnaise (Mexico), No Pants Day (rest of the world)
- 264 BC - The Pubic Wars begin between Cartilage and Roam over a dispute over The Roamer King's pubic region.
- 1640 - King Charles Spaniel I of England disbands the Vertically-challenged Parliament.
- 1775 - Early draft of the Constitution of America is swallowed by elephant. The elephant will die of a bowel obstruction 23-days later.
- 1792 - Julius Caesar writes De Bello Gallico during the Great Time Travel War of 1871
- 1862 - Mexico defeats France in a drawn-out game of Risk.
- 1865 - First toy train robbery is committed in Ohio.
- 1893 - New York Stock Exchange crashes, has its driving privileges suspended for a year.
- 1897 - Chuck Norris loses his virginity, several years before his father does.
- 1900 - Queen Victoria declares that the fish fork is henceforth the official favored piece cutlery of Great Britain.
- 1925 - Tennessee biology teacher John Scopes is arrested for teaching electrocution in school; is forced to teach evolution instead.
- 1966 - Boog Powell bats his 7th of 33 home runs for that season, and celebrates by clubbing a toddler.
- 1973 - Leonard Bernstein dies for the first time.
- 1980 - Mary McCarthy proclaims that "everthing Lillian Hellman writes is a lie, including 'the' and 'and'."
- 1991 - A riot breaks out in the Mt. Pleasant section of Washington, DC. The city promptly renames the section Mt. Painintheass.
- 1993 - Keanu Reeves is arrested for masquerading as an actor.
- 2000 - Bill Clinton is in his last year as President. There is much rejoicing.
- 2006 - Your mom just shaved herself bald. Be afraid.
- 2007 - George W. Bush forces his whole office to observe No Pants Day.
- 2007 - France has elections. Ennui Wins by a Landslide.
