Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/November 1

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November 1: Cheap Candy Day (USA), All Monster Spawning Day

• 1053 - Birthday of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Every year Nessie celebrates by not having her picture taken.
• 1347 - Birthday of Vlad the Impaler, who later goes on to become Dracula. Every year he celebrates his birthday by impaling a few peasants.
• 1512 - Michelangelo completes the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel; his wife complains that if he carries on at the same rate the wallpaper won't be up for Christmas, when she's invited her sister around. They have a row and she storms out, Valezquez and Raphael come around, crack open a few beers and then destroy Tokyo.
• 1897 - Victor Frankenstein stitches together a bunch of dead bodies to create his monster.
• 1937 - Birthday of the Chupacabra, which didn't destroy Tokyo because it lived on a fucking island without one single boat.
• 1950 - A series of horrific experiments to re-animate dead tissue result in the creation of Joseph Ratzinger.
• 1952 - As part of the weapons program Operation Ivy, the U.S. successfully detonates a 10 megaton hydrogen bomb in Eniwetok atoll, located in the Marshall Islands. Most historians regard this as Godzilla's birthday. Godzilla celebrates it every year by attempting to destroy Tokyo, or, if Tokyo is under attack from another monster, by saving Tokyo.
• 1953 - Mothra hatches from an egg, destroys Tokyo.
• 1957 - Mothra finishes metamorphosis and changes from a destructive silkworm to a beautiful butterfly. Then destroys Tokyo.
• 1959 - An evil cult performs a dark ritual that results in the birth of one of the most terrifying monsters of all time: Dick Cheney. Cheney promptly goes out and destroys Tokyo.
• 1960 - Ken Griffey Jr.(Seattle Mariners) is born. Then destroys Tokyo.
• 1965 - Birthday of Gamera.
• 1967 - The Japanese monster movies introduce their most terrifying monster character yet: "Hitler" - a human who attacks other nations without provocation and slaughters millions. His most successful movie, "World War II," pits him against another monster, "Stalin." Stalin is given eye beams to counter Hitler's flame-breath.
• 1967 - Cookie Monster born, then destroys Tokyo.
• 1979 - The most successful monster movie of all time is released: "Dick Cheney versus King Ghidora, the Three-Headed Monster."
• 1999 - For the first time, the Annual Hunt For Red October day is postponed until today, making a mockery of the whole occasion.
• 2005 - Sesame Street introduces a new song for Cookie Monster, "Cookies are a sometimes food" and he is forced to eat less cookies to promote good eating habits. Driven mad by cookie deprivation, Cookie Monster begins devouring human cast members.
• 2005 - Fisher Price created.
• 2006 - I wrote this sentence.
• 2007 - I wrote "I wrote this sentence." a year ago.
• 2038 - Got aout of a 31 year-long comma. (Don't mind the number, just a coincidense.)