Uncyclopedia:Fundraising

The Uncyclomedia Foundation, Inc. is a 666(c)(3) unprofitable devoted to inflicting free access to stupidity on every person in the world. Our projects collect this content from people around the world, process it, and make it readily available online in over 200 20 languages. These efforts are supported through the generosity of people like you, who believe that stupidity means humo(u)r and that stupidity should be free. Instead of paying for it, like MegaCorporations obviously do, especially ones that run a Monopoly. Help us spread stupidity in the world, for free, but doing so is costly. So costly that we had to organize a board of directors to do it, to provide an oversight committee with high paying salaries to everyone on it. So we can spread their stupidity, and hope it catches on with the rest of the world. There are still people in this world (gasp) who don't even know that Uncyclopedia and Uncyclomedia even exist, or that they offer free stupidity to anyone who wants it. So we offer "Free Access To All Human Stupidity" and we are very serious about that.

Please help us by donating today!

“Thanks to your continued donations, starving children in Africa with HIV AIDS infections that cannot read and write, have no clothing or shelter, have no food and are forced to eat dirt and bugs, can now be shipped these shitty $100USD $200USD (OLPC raised the price again) hand-cranked laptops with Uncyclomedia materials to help promote their continued stupidity.”

~ Kofi Annan on Uncyclopedia Fund Raising Drive

If you and 666 other people donate ..

• 2,000,000,000 Oscar Wilde Dolls – We can make Uncyclopedia available in developing worlds through DVDs, books and pamphlets.
• ¥10,000 - We can have one of our Clinjas deliver a pie to the face of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Al Gore, Donald Trump, or George W. Bush - your choice.
• £1,337 – We can pay for two Uncycloversity events in Porchesia.
• $666 - We can afford to employ 666 Filipino children to write jokes for us for a whole year.
• $69 - We can deliver one Star Trek geek to a whorehouse so he won't be a virgin anymore. A pity we can't make him get a life, like William Shatner wants.
• $36.99 – We can deliver 5 pageviews of free information-free information!
• $15 - We can supply a starving child in Africa with a collection of our UnBooks in paper format per month. Too bad the child never learned to read, because warlords prevented him/her from getting an education by turning the local school into an ammo dump.
• 300 Kung-Fu Uniforms- The all powerful, and master of everything Bruce Lee will return to grace us with his presence once more.
• $1 - We can buy another toilet roll for the Uncyclopedia dungeon.
• Free - Just turn off your pop-up blocker, Anti-Virus programs, and Firewalls, and let our spyware and adware infect your Windows system and pop up advertising banners and pop up ads in your face, and use a key logger to steal your personal info and sell it to the higher bidder. Honest, it is for the good of humanity that you do this. This is to promote your own stupidity as well as contribute to our cause, and it doesn't even cost you one red cent.

If you don't donate Elmo and his friends will hunt you down and make you pay.

NOTE: No amount of donation, begging, pleading and/or praying can spare you from Chuck Norris. In fact, Chuck Norris routinely bankrupts charities for his own amusement, which provides him with a steady stream of drug addicts to smoke.

WARNING: When you are using Uncyclopedia and not making donations to it. Then you are stealing Uncyclopedia. Don't even try to make a fake donation pledge as Elmo knows where you live. Elmo is one bad gangsta that lives on Sesame Street, and forces Parents to make PBS donations to keep his show going. He works for us now, and if you do not donate he might have to pay you a visit face to face about that. It can get really ugly when Elmo is upset like that, so I strongly suggest that you donate.

Uncyclopedia merchandise at The Uncyclopedia Store: 20% of the listed price for each purchased item goes to the Uncyclomedia Foundation. Or it would if we ever made it. So make it yourself and send the UMF 20% of what you spent.

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Unquotable Useless misquotes galore

The Wilde Project Uncyclopedia's founder tells all