Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Protect your Children

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I don't know if you've noticed, but I write stupid things. In depth review, please. CAKE J! <-> (Dec 13 / 20:23)

don't worry I will write an in depth review--I like cheese 12:34, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Humo(u)r:	7.83	Intro-8 'Focus on the Family' I thought, eh, then I realised it was about that thing. I think this would of worked with either a new name 'Focus on the Family's guide to child rearing' or, better, as an Unbooks article. Loved the whole death/doom thing. Just please rename it at least. So I don't have to figure out what an earth you are talking about. Few Grammer mistakes, but we'll come to them later. You're Wrong-7 Not as Good as intro, but that third point just seemed a bit to over the top, even for Focus on the Family. Also the I WILL SHOOT YOUR CHILD thing, was lost on me. Worse you contradict yourself by saying...well look at the end of point 1, and then point 2, see what's wrong? No, Stupid-9 Yayyy! This is better, 1 weeeny thing though, although the 1st simpsons refrence worked, the second didn't work at all. Either expand it or delete the second refrence. (Or even sputtering out other sinful programes 'Monty Spython....Spamily Guy...., you could dedicate a whole subpoint under the TV section entitled, terrible sinful programes.) DON'T TOUCH THAT-7 Not because of what I saw, which was good, but what I didn't see caused me to put a 7. You can make fun of the Bibles sometimes appaling moral stories and have him endorsing them, because they're in the Bible. You could have him asking mothers to stone their chrildren if they disobey. Seriously it's in the Bible. BUT YOU DIDN'T! (Oh gosh, I just shouted at an admin) No, Stupid-8 Good, you've started on some points I put in above. On point 3 do you mean 'The world is an immoral place', do you actually mean 'The world is an moral place'. Like like last point expand, expand, expand on similar things. Ok? Ending-8 Can't fault really, but a bit short
Concept:	8	But rename please like i said in previous section. Please? Otherwise Solid.
Prose and Formatting:	8	Few Grammer mistakes, but nothing worse than typo's. Just read it throgh
Images:	7.7	1st image- (10) hee hee funny man, hee hee caption 2nd image-(7) Not as funny caption and same picture 3rd image-(6) OK caption,but entire thing now dead Maybe another image? I know it's funny, but it killed the entire joke dead!
Miscellaneous:	7.88	avg your scores
Final Score:	39.41	Good geneally, but sort out a few problems notably expand the sections and get another image
Reviewer:	--I like cheese 12:34, 16 December 2007 (UTC)