Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:ASHPD/Command & Conquer 3: Boyle's Vengeance

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I am working on a parody of EA's C&C franchise, a.k.a. self made Boyle's Vengeance, a parodied answer to the countless expansion sets EA makes for other games (Battlefield, The Sims etc etc) as well as the recent Kane's Wrath.

I hope I receive feedbacks on ways of improvement to this article. I tried my best. Thanks.

ASHPD 10:58, 9 February 2008 (UTC)

Humo(u)r:	5	I wasn't impressed by the humor here, it felt like you were taking sex jokes, overused in-jokes, and common jokes already found on the internet. (like Hitler). What I think you should do is read HTBFANJS if you haven't yet and look at the featured articles to get a sense of what true humor is.
Concept:	7	It's a good concept but good luck trying to make it funny. That idea and how to expand it lies within you.
Prose and Formatting:	4	Remove the lists, improve the features to feature fewer sections instead of one section per paragraph, and most of all, don't seperate sentences, keep some of them as a paragraph. You have a good sense of grammar but you should read this to know how to write good article. If you haven't already.
Images:	3	The images seem random and most of them do not seem to work with the article at all, case in point. The guy in the hat, the woman, and Hitler censored do not work in this article. But you do get extra points for original images that you created. Case in point, remove all the images that aren't supposed to be there and rearrange the images you currently have to make this article work.
Miscellaneous:	4.8	Well, what I can say is this. It's your idea and the humor is there but you just need to make it work. But you do have potential so just keep on working on it and you'll get it.
Final Score:	23.8	One last note here, if you are interested. You should join the Adopt-A-Noob Campaign, they can help new users out , (like you) into fully understanding Uncyclopedia's etiquette, community and their new found sense of humor. It's not required but it would help for a user like you.
Reviewer:	Uncognito 15:51, 10 February 2008 (UTC)