Uncyclopedia:Reefer Desk/Archive2

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Contents 1 The Gallows 2 Knight Table 3 Dead Funny 4 Osama once more 5 Osama Bin Laden Camle screw 6 Osama Being Chased 7 Human Suits 8 Ubermensch 9 Etch-A-Sculpt 10 Red & Blue 11 Tsar Wars 12 Big Dubya 13 Dick Hunt 14 The Mona Lisa 2 15 Final Fantasy Football 16 Fiddy Scoop 17 Tarim Mummy 18 Oscar's Seen It 19 Blackbeard Catering Company 20 Barnyard Mayhem 21 GVG: Grue Vs. Grue 22 American Imperialism 23 Star Wars: A Very Special Edition 24 Fiddy's Brain 25 Frozen Britney

The Gallows

Please Help this Picture An earlier, more comfortable form of hanging. Image credit: Sliferjam Nominate - discuss this image

How's this? Sliferjam - #1UN - You got something to say? - JAM! - I'm special. 20:16, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

• Good idea, bad photoshopping - this one does not benefit from being an obvious cut'n'paste. If you put an image onto another image you have to think about things like colour balance and angle of lighting - David Gerard 20:34, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Made me chuckle though. FreeMorpheme 11:51, 10 July 2006 (UTC)

You know, I like this concept. The Photoshopping isn't all that bad, really. I'm just trying to think how it might be more suited. I'll try to get back to you on this. --Hindleyite | PL | GUN | WOTM | Image Review - Use it | Converse 13:03, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Knight Table

Please Help this Picture Facing a task more difficult than ripping the sword from the stone, King Arthur attempts to assemble a new IKEA Round Table he picked up at Ikea while grail shopping. Image credit: Zombiebaron Nominate - discuss this image

I think I am unfortunately missing something on this one. Not to ask too stupid a question, but are you referring to The Round Table of King Arthur? Or am I completely missing the point? If so, I'd say it needs to be much bigger (the table, that is) and perhaps disassembled, waiting to be put together. If I'm just missing something (which in all probability is the case), I'd say you need to shadow the lamp on the table. See the shadow that the leg of the table casts on the bottom of the stand? You gotta do something like that for the lamp. Sorry I can't be any more help than that (go figure). -- Imrealized 22:07, 6 July 2006 (UTC)

• Yah, that first one was the joke. Could you maybe give me pointers on how to make that more obvious? --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 13:01, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Hmm... well, not to throw off all the work you've already done, but I might go in a different direction with it. I think with the table image you've got it may be difficult to convey the joke completely, but bear in mind I am just one being, so take everything I say with grain alcohol, or something like that. Back to the pic — I found these: [1] [2] — if you could take the table image from #2, trim off the leg thing with a tablesaw or photoshop, convert it to black and white or grayscale, and put that into #1 like Arthur is trying to put a table together for Guinevere that he just bought from Ikea (I don't shop there but from what I understand you have to put everything together yourself and the stuff is crap) and he's struggling with the task while the other knights are in the background snickering (maybe they're not, but the caption could suggest it) and for good measure find a picture of just a table leg and have Arthur holding that in one hand so that it's a little more obvious he's putting together a new round table. You might even want to find a pic of a cardboard box and put that somewhere in the background, but it's probably not necessary and if it cluttered things up too much you wouldn't want it anyway (the picture already has quite a bit going on in it but it's difficult to find a good image to work with). If that all seems like too much work or too stupid, you could also find some colour pictures of real knights, either from one of the King Arthur movies (Python, Connery, or that newest one that had nothing going for it except Keira Knightley) or from a Renaissance Fair and photoshop the knights riding into an Ikea parking lot to buy the new round table, which could work also. If you're intent on sticking with the image you've got, I'd say ditch the lamp, plop five or six knights crowded around the table with King Arthur so the table will look comically small. I hope at least some of this has helped you Zb. Good luck. -- Imrealized 18:35, 7 July 2006 (UTC)

Yeah Keira Knightley is hawt. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I gotta admit though, I'm partial to Lady Beckinsale in her little black number. It wasn't really the ketchup what drew me in, at least not to the site.... it was them two girlies. And the free hors d'œuvres were a nice touch, too. -- Imrealized 06:19, 8 July 2006 (UTC)

To be Arthur's round table? You would need a group of knights in full metal armour (not armor) attempting to assemble the product based on instructions written in Bork instead of English - the table would be semi-complete and the knights would be looking perplexed as the one piece missing (or one piece extra) isn't explained in the instruction page. --Carlb 01:48, 10 July 2006 (UTC)

Ooh, here's another idea that greatly alters your original pic (sorry) — you could get a pic of a huge Arthurian-looking round table, maybe something like [3] and shop it into a page from an Ikea catalogue with some funny Swedish sounding description as the caption. Yet another possibility. -- Imrealized 05:18, 10 July 2006 (UTC)

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• I have uploaded a new version and changed the caption, please comment on the new version below. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 12:40, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Much better ZB, although I did spruce up the caption (hopefully, do you like it?). I'm just wondering, off hand, which image manipulation program you're using? I gots the Corel and I find my favourite, well one of my most used features, is the clone brush. Does your program have one of those? Anyway, my only nitpicky comments are that the black outline of the table and the leg sorta stand out and don't quite match up to the outline of Arthur, his feets are a bit cutoff, and maybe the shading in the table could be improved to closer match the crosshatched shading of Arthur. Clone Brush could probably help you with all of these and pretty simply as well. Overall, it is a huge improvement, I think. Let's see what others have to say. -- Imrealized 20:01, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, Ill try and do that when I get back from Newfoundlad. Oh and he found Exclibur in a lake (sorta). --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 20:40, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

Aren't there the two different versions, Sword in the Stone and Lady of the Lake, and I think maybe one other version that kinda tries to meld the two together? Yeah, when I changed the caption I thought of that, but pulling a sword from a stone seemed more arduous than "receiving it from some watery tart" (is that how that goes?), so that was the version I went with. Anyways, enjoy Newfoundland and keep your eye on the cod. -- Imrealized 21:37, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

I don't know how well it would come across in the pic, but shouldn't the IKEA tool be there somewhere? Say it with me now, "Damn you, IKEA tool!" Modusoperandi 08:30, 14 July 2006 (UTC)

Dead Funny

Please Help this Picture The Tomb of the Unknown Uncyclopedian. Image credit: Mhaille Nominate - discuss this image

• I wiped off some dead guy's details from the front, and added fresh text. Does it need capitals? Times New Roman? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

The part where it says "also" kinda confused me. Should it be "leaving behind son, Rapier Wit", or was the young Rapier burried with Humor? Also, maybe just trash the Rapier Wit part, cause it seems like alot of text for such a small gravestone. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 16:29, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

The "also" implies that the grave is shared by the infant. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Oh. Well I still say there is to much text. However, if you don't want to delete any of it, maybe make it smaller? --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 16:49, 16 September 2006 (UTC)

• This can potentially be good. Try a more traditional, serif font like TNR as you mention and perhaps think about putting it in some sort of context. Plus, try making the text look more 'weathered' - giving it a halo of noise might do the trick. I like the idea, though. -- Hindleyite 17:54, 16 September 2006 (UTC)
• I would be sorely tempted to use some punning epitaphs on this one - something like: "'Dead Funny'. - 'At long last, they found the ultimate :*punchline.' - stuff like that. '" —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Hardwick Fundlebuggy (talk • contribs)

  Or "Dying is Easy, Comedy is Hard".--Sir Modusoperandi 05:08, 18 September 2006 (UTC)

• Uh oh, how unprofessional of me. My apologies to all concerned. Please accept these spare signatures for free, in case they are needed on future occasions --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 07:59, 17 September 2006 (UTC) --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 07:59, 17 September 2006 (UTC) --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 07:59, 17 September 2006 (UTC) --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 07:59, 17 September 2006 (UTC)

Osama once more

Please Help this Picture since there are so many Osama pics I thought I'd submit my own.Osama's wedding. Image credit: Unistyle Nominate - discuss this image

• Doesn't look realistic enough. -- SonicChao ^Babbel!_Contribs 23:12, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

This is now on VFP, suckas. Unless its already gone... --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 23:14, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

*votes Against for obvious reasons* -- SonicChao ^Babbel!_Contribs 23:17, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Don't use Microsoft Paint. Get GIMP, or photoshop, or photoshop elements, or...well...anything's better than MSP, really.--Sir Modusoperandi 00:20, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

LOL I never meant this image to be taken seriously yet.This is more of a rough draft.I was going to put an explanation for the low quality but my computer crashed =( I have GIMP and photoshop but didn't think it was necessary if I was going to change it anyways.If you guys could give me advice for improvement (besides quality I know I'll fix it) it will be done.I think this idea has less of a "shock" feel to it like these other two. Unistyle 03:18, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

It might work better if the pictures "additions" were obvious Polaroids (if the idea is that they're faked intelligence).--Sir Modusoperandi 12:59, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

My pictures look like art compared to this. Premier Tom Mayfair 13:00, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Hi, welcome to reefer desk. This page is for helping people to improve their images. Perhaps you confused this page w/VFP...--Sir Modusoperandi 13:04, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Might spread the message to other users while your at it. Seems they aren't into giving advice either. Bias comments are somewhat unnecessary. Here some advice; zoom in, use the erase brush, clean the edges, and make black & white if skin tones are a major issue. Premier Tom Mayfair 13:08, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

I try to spread the message. I'm that guy with "the end is nigh" placards, on the street corner. No one ever listens. But it's nigh I say. Nigh!--Sir Modusoperandi 14:20, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Osama Bin Laden Camle screw

Please Help this Picture Since my last image bombed I thought I would creat another one.This one is of Osama Bin Laden Butt fuckking a camel Image credit: SOADLuver Nominate - discuss this image

• No, no and no. As a SOAD fan the sort of thing you should be looking at is the Toxicity album cover, the spoof of the Hollywood sign. Its clever and well made. Shock images have their place, but only if well done and only if the funny outweighs the shock. This image doesn't. And its CAMEL. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Let's see... ok, for starters, it's shock humor (which I think everyone has communicated we really frown upon here, no matter how funny it may actually be). The problem with shock humor is it always ends up making you have to top a previous effort, until eventually you can't top any more, and everyone loses interest in your site. That's why we steer clear of that. Um, let's see. This camel is a real ass. Um, oh, I've got a humorous take on this: Osama and a camel dressed up for a wedding could actually be hilarious. You know, Osama in a groom's tux and the camel in a wedding dress. With the caption: "bin Laden knew that this step was necessary in order to be hidden by the tribal chiefs, but he wasn't sure camel really loved him." Take a silly idea, then take it in a direction the audience isn't expecting, that kind of thing. The audience can imagine him getting it on with the camel later in their own heads, if they want (the pervs).--<<>> 14:06, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

• Delete this image in the name of all things holy! --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 23:17, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Osama Being Chased

Please Help this Picture RUN! RUN! DURKA DURKA!! Image credit: SOADLuver Nominate - discuss this image

i'll daresay they need help... major help Well, there's just a few things Mr. SOADL: First, Osama is really not a poplar issue these days in case you haven't noticed. Second, sexual or tasteless humor is not widely recognized here, try ED. Third, if you think making fun of someone is funny, you're wrong, make fun of the idea, not the man. If I were you I would just abandon these images, because they are fundamentaly flawed. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 01:41, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

HA HA DURKA! DURKA! your kidding right?Making fun of the person is HILARIOUS!! SOADLuver 02:08, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

I agree with Kaizer. We (and by "we" I mean every single one of us) strive to be witty, rather than pedestrian, in our humour. We (again, all of us) have even adopted the British convention for the spelling of words, and French accents, to make us even more cultured than we already are. As such, Osama f*cking a donkey, just doesn't seem funny. Funny in an "I've just seen Jackass2 again, and it's fucking awesome, dude!" kind of way, perhaps, but we hold ourselves to a higher standard. Has anyone tried this wine? It's an unremarkable vintage, but it's got that je ne sais quoi... See User:Sir Cornbread/The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah for an example on how his visage can be presented, or used, in a comedic manner. Ordinarily I would give not out an address like that, as it is a work in progress, but its creator has let the cat out of the bag, as it were, by requesting pics at Picture Request.--Sir Modusoperandi 02:15, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Huh? you lost me at I.Dude have you seen Jackass 2?Is it funny I haven't seen it jet.How can you not think thats funny? its Osama F*cking a Camel. SOADLuver 02:19, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Then, good sir, it would appear that we are at an impasse. Osama caught inflagrante with a pack animal is not the kind of humour that we produce here. Anyone poor tramp could think of that and, indeed, I believe that even the most cursary of interweb searches would prove that many already have. See Uncyclopedia:PFP for what are, for the most part, original and humourous images.--Sir Modusoperandi 02:30, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Ok I will start on my new image right away!You guys have steered me into the sunset of real humur I thank you. SOADLuver 02:33, 2 October 2006 (UTC) P.s. so have you seen Jackass 2 yet?

No, I've never found stupid people getting hurt to be funny...and hopefully it's the sunrise of real humour.--Sir Modusoperandi 02:36, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Hey I've got an image already created of Osama and a llama announcing their marriage is that funny uncyclopedia style? SOADLuver 02:39, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

It could be (see above). Upload it HERE first, and it might have a shot.--<<>> 15:34, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Does no one else find it absurd that Osama is flying a magic carpet? It doesn't even have to be Osama, just a guy on a magic carpet running from a jet, I think, to be hilarious. --Mosquitopsu 02:40, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

obviously not =( I nominated it and it flopped horribly. SOADLuver 02:44, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Well, part of the problem is that it didn't come through here first. We're pretty good at picking out what's funny and what isn't (for Uncyclopedia) in pictures. Virgin pictures that step onto VFP get thrashed 90% of the time. This picture just needs a better caption, and I think it'd do well. (Of course, this particular picture has already been voted down, so it's chances aren't good unless it's significantly changed for a 2nd go).--<<>> 14:10, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Here's an idea for a caption that might make this "fly": the American military was moved to Iraq after it was discovered that Afghans were more maneuverable than previously thought. It is a multi-layered pun, with a great picture to go with it (though, again, you may need a new pic as this one has already died.--<<>> 15:34, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Human Suits

Please Help this Picture Penguins wear human suits too. Image credit: Hindleyite Nominate - discuss this image

So, um, yeah. Just fancied Potatochopping something. I got the basic idea thingy and I think it's got potential, I just need to think of some way to make it funnier. Perhaps a different context or a better caption or something. I would welcome any comments, as always. -- Hindleyite 17:29, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

I like it. The caption is good. It's more of an, "...ah, penguin suits" kind of reaction, rather than an "OMGLOL! ROFL!!" (or whatever the kids are saying today). If you have to change it, naked is always good (human suits). Of course I'm biased, what with being leader of the "Nudist Party of Whichever Country it is that I am From" and all.--Sir Modusoperandi 17:48, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

The one second from left seems to be extruding out of his suit a little too much. 20:01, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

Birthday Suits! Space Suits! Formal Dress Suits! Pant Suits! Why not have a Penguin Suit Convention? You can even dress one of them up in a red shirt suit, for nerdy shits and giggles. Oh, and I second Free's comment about the one second from the left. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 22:47, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

On a related note, today a friend of mine was telling me about a PETA ad with a naked woman and the caption "You wouldn't wear this fur" (I would if she was willing... --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:41, 26 September 2006 (UTC)). Maybe you could somehow use that in this image? I would do it, but I figured I'd let you take a shot at it if you wanted, since your also a much better photoshoper then me. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 22:44, 25 September 2006 (UTC)

Thanks for the comments guys! I really appreciate the input. In particular, I might look to incorporate some of Zombie's ideas. But, I haven't really had the time to be Photoshopping recently. I might come back to it later on when I have more spare time and I've rethought the concept. Cheers. -- Hindleyite 20:02, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

• The Arctic is Under New Ownership. Anyone who has a problem with that should apply to "The Management", alright?
• Gang wars at the South Pole. The Penguin Brothers have taken on the infamous Crayfish twins. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 20:41, 26 September 2006 (UTC)

• OK, I want to revisit this. To the right is an idea I am working on and could possibly use. Couple of problems, though: I'm afraid people will be sick of film poster Potatochoppings, they might be a bit cliched. Second, I need some wittier captions or a funnier title, perhaps. Any further comments etc would be appreciated. -- Hindleyite 16:36, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

He's still poking out too far. 07:50, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

That is fantastic, Hindleyite, except now I'll have to start writing the article that goes with it. "Penguins. On the surface, they seem harmless enough - docile in fact - almost stupid. But look closer, and you will see that there is a criminal fraternity in the penguin group - a dark side to the waddling surface.". That's just to remind me of an opening before I forget - but I'll write the rest soonish... --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 11:16, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Ubermensch

Please Help this Picture His only weakness is the umlaut. Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn Nominate - discuss this image

• This image got about 50/50 standing in VFP the first time around, I would like to know what people didn't like about it. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 04:00, 23 September 2006 (UTC)
• I don't like the fact that you would depict Superman as some kind of "mensch". Maybe next time give hime three breasts, cause that would be super --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout) 18:24, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

How about a slightly different take on it? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I'd like Mhaille's with the U with umlauts... that'd be my wish on this one.--<<>> 20:01, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

Yeh, Mhaille's version has a little something extra on the original... -- Hindleyite 12:46, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

Once again Mhaille takes the kake. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • VotM • UGotM (shout)

Etch-A-Sculpt

Please Help this Picture It wasn't until Michelangelo's parents gave him a "Etch-A-Sculpt" that he decided to become an artist Image credit: Modusoperandi Nominate - discuss this image

• Dunno where this came from. This'll be the last one for a while; Lego Star Wars II is calling me <take that, death star!>.--Sir Modusoperandi 00:02, 20 September 2006 (UTC)

Nice. Only one request: clean up the edges. There should be no white surrounding the black lines. --Major Sir Zombiebaron GUN • WotM • UotM • PotM • AotM • EGAEDM • UPotM • MAFE • ZotM • IotM • Vo