Uncyclopedia:VFP/Featured

"After a while you don't even see the code any more. You just see dicks... penis... gay... euroipods..."

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Last edited by: Rbpolsen 19:24, 6 July 2008

Thomas Jefferson, with a moustache.

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Last edited by: Kaizer the Bjorn 03:09, 2 July 2008

Windows XP is a reliable computer program, as shown here.

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Last edited by: Faizaguo 21:23, 30 June 2008

When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.

Image credit: Sunsneezer

Last edited by: Faizaguo 21:21, 30 June 2008

This is an African giraffe running you the fuck down.

Image credit: Zombiebaron

Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:20, 29 June 2008

One Out of Ten Doctors agree: There are no pink elephants in this picture.

Image credit: Zombiebaron

Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:18, 29 June 2008

Statue of John F. Kennedy, first Caesar of the American Empire, located close to the Senate steps upon which he was brutally murdered by Liius Brutus Oswaldii in AD 63.

Image credit: LinkTGF

Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:16, 29 June 2008

The newest antagonist for horror movie fans to believe, The Hook Headed Man was conceived while watching Treasure Island on crack. In the movie, the way he came about is described as "A pirate who fell into radioactive sludge." It would have made him into the superhero "Arrr-man", but that was too close to a copyrighted character from Sesame Street, so this is the next-best thing the writers could come up with.

Image credit: Jocke Pirat

Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:13, 29 June 2008

DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa."
Hewlett Packard were unavailable for comment as the CEO was busy discussing a merger with Ferrari to create the world's first petrol powered printer.
DaVinci is said to be in a closed door meeting with Dan Brown to discuss the implications of this event.

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Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:10, 29 June 2008

Every once in a while fortune cookie fortunes are right friggin' on.

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Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:08, 29 June 2008

The Microsoft Word Processor is good for the office and the kitchen! It can be yours for just 3 easy payments of $39.99!

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Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:06, 29 June 2008

This animal-mutilation image is medium-rare. You can help Uncyclopedia by cooking it further.

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Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 03:03, 29 June 2008

Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.

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Last edited by: The Nails 00:36, 29 June 2008

Now showing at all good Middle-Eastern warzones near you!

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Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 12:38, 28 June 2008

A Sumo wrestler dealing his opponent the finishing blow.

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Last edited by: DJ Irreverent 12:35, 28 June 2008

9-Eleven, a world-wide chain of convenience stores serving the needs of those who seek to overthrow whichever hated oppressor is in vogue at the time, is now owned by a conglomeration of businessmen operating out of Afghanistan for tax purposes. People often call them when they need fat. In a bun.

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Last edited by: Readmesoon 04:41, 27 June 2008

Too... Many... In-Jokes...

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Last edited by: Readmesoon 04:38, 27 June 2008

In an effort to extend its presence to areas that were previously only covered by UnNews, Fox News has founded a subsidiary in Middle Earth to stay competitive on the misinformation provider market.

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Last edited by: The Nails 04:12, 18 June 2008

"Alas, poor Miles! I knew him, Knuckles: a fellow of infinite tails, of most mediocre flying ability."

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Last edited by: The Nails 04:11, 18 June 2008

The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

Image credit: Savethemooses

Last edited by: The Nails 04:07, 18 June 2008

Darth Vader was the only spawn of Qui-Gon-Jinn, a legendary intergalactic televangelist who made millions on the planet Naboo curing toasters of inflammation. During his reign as King of Iceland, Darth Vader often took time off to endorse a variety of things, including the Segway.

Image credit: RadicalX

Last edited by: The Nails 04:01, 18 June 2008

"Mommy, why don't Mermaids wear clothes?" - "Seriously Johnny, think about it..."

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Last edited by: Zombiebaron 15:53, 8 June 2008

Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

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Last edited by: WiredFREAK 01:03, 25 May 2008

"Honey, have you noticed how high our life insurance rates are these days?"

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Last edited by: Modusoperandi 12:42, 24 May 2008

St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

Image credit: Isra1337

Last edited by: Cheapinitreal 06:57, 23 May 2008

Thank you, George! But you must still look in 7 more countries to find nuclear weapons!

Image credit: User:Citation-Seer

Last edited by: Sgt. Fluffy 23:55, 16 May 2008

Some modifications have been made to the newest translation of the Holy Bible. In this scene (often called "Palm Sunday"), Jesus is now riding a raptor. While this was partially made to help make Jesus more accessible to Today's children, the decision was also made because certain Christians didn't want people to be able to say that Jesus was "riding someone's ass" that day. Both scientists and fundamental Christians question the historical accuracy of this account.
From the New Cooler Edition: "And Christ touched the Velociraptor, and the Velociraptor was tamed." Luke 13:37 (NCE)

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Last edited by: Vampiregirl 22:54, 13 May 2008

Whack-A-Mao: the national pastime of Taiwan.

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Last edited by: Algorithm 04:55, 25 April 2008

Takin' out the trash...

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Last edited by: Zombiebaron 16:11, 12 April 2008

A classic family activity as timeless as timelessness itself!

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Last edited by: Zombiebaron 16:08, 12 April 2008