Uncyclopedia Article
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
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• Uncyclopedia Article |
Uncyclopedia Articles are Really Important. Without them, I haven't a clue as to how we'd waste so much time. I mean, this is the very essence of what Uncyclopedia is. Hell, if not for Uncyclopedia Articles, we'd pretty much be up shit creek, you know? Hell, we wouldn't even have the Uncyclopedia. You and I would be sitting there, staring at a blank screen, wondering what to do... Kinda boring, yes?
Uncylopedia is an uninformative source of stupdity. Its articles are policed by adminstrators who screen edits for humour. This would be ok if the admins themselves were humourous, which they are not.
So yes, Uncylopedia Articles are important, and should not be taken lightly.
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[edit] Recognizing an Uncyclopedia Article
Look at the top of your web-browser. Up in the left corner do you see the uncyclopedia Logo?
No, the Left corner, assbag! Yeah, there you go. Okay, the little perfect sphere in the shape of an imperfect puzzle... Jesus, you people are hard to work with... That means you're reading something on Uncyclopedia...
[edit] Also Look For
- Euroipods.
- Kitten Huffing.
- A gratuitous link to AAAAAAAAA!.
- No Redeeming Value.
- Optimus Prime.
- The Picture of Me having Sex with Your Mom.
[edit] Editing Tips
Although a fully-featured article on editing is beyond the scope of this page, here are a few things to bear in mind.
[edit] Getting started
Start by smacking the Keyboard randomly, post a few vague questions to your local IRC group, use Yahoo PageBuilder to make a shitty Masturbating Bear Webpage to announce your Uncyclopedia article and prove how bat fuck insane you are.
[edit] Hyperlink Everything!
A good Uncyclopedia article will include a number of hyperlinks. This ensures that the entire content of your article can be properly referenced, and will make it far more accessible to your readers. Include references to Undictionary to assist in the disambiguation of your terminology used.
[edit] Remember, You are the star!
[Insert imaginary picture of Homestarrunner here]
[edit] Pirates!
Pirates, Pirates, and more Pirates! Make references about pirates! We love Pirates here, and you should too!
[edit] Ninjas!
Ninjas, Ninjas, and more Ninjas! Make Lots of references to Ninjas. We love Ninjas around here, and so should you.
[edit] Euroipods, Kitten Huffing
All Uncyclopedia Articles must contain an absolute minimun of 428 references to Euroipods. Ensure that your work ALWAYS includes references to Euroipods. If you don't make the requisite 428 references, you have almost no chance of being voted for feature article.
Or 723 references to Kitten Huffing.
[edit] Furries
Say that you Hate Furries. Alternatively, you could say that you like furries. For REAL rebels, ignore furries entirely.
[edit] Mr T Ate my Balls
All references to Mr. T eating balls are strictly forbidden by Uncyclopedia, in accordance with the Uncyclopedia Constitutional Bylaws, Article 3, Section 5, sub-paragraph e.
[edit] Fake Oscar Wilde quotes
Okay, now pay attention, this is Extremely Important! The creation of falsified Oscar Wilde quotes is cause for a ban. With only 2 exceptions User:Mr Asshat, and User:Stoopnagle this has been a permanent ban from Uncyclopedia. Admins are notorious for finding your real name, your ISP, your address and credit card numbers, preventing you from ever writing an article again, and getting you fired from your job. On one Occasion, User:Omar the Spazz had his soul confiscated and fed to hellhounds.
[edit] Examples of Good Uncyclopedia Articles
- Euroipods The Pinnacle of Success, this excellently designed article has made it to the front page, and become a featured article. One should always strive for this level of Quality.
[edit] Examples of Bad Uncyclopedia Articles
- Euroipods The Pinnacle of unmitigated failure, this gobshite article has made it to the front page, and become a sick joke of a featured article. One should never allow themselves to write an article like this.
- Uncyclopedia Article This Article, this piece of horrid crap should serve as a warning. It's just, really bad, okay? Don't worry, though, I've taken the author outside, and beaten him so he won't produce any more of this shit.
- Wildfire: Another article that is so bad, it deserves to be fed to the dogs.
- User:TD/crap The original content of the article listed here was Nerved, so it's been archived on my user page to stand as an example for all time, just how shitty an article can be.
- User:Mr. Briggs Inc./Fringe Market A bunch of articles that don't appeal to anyone, no matter what Mr. Briggs Inc. says.
[edit] Finding Good Uncyclopedia Articles
Good luck, buddy. I've been here for 8 fucking years and all I've accomplished is gaining the desire to scoop my brains out with a melon-baller.
Seriously though... it's hit and miss. You may find gems of umparalleled brilliance in Uncyclopedia, but along the way, you will find great steaming piles of literary feces. It is goddamned frightening. The easy way is just to check through the nominations for featured article. These are almost always funny, though sometimes because of evident authorial retardation. Here on Uncyclopedia, sometimes really, really bad is really really good.
Also, check out You Have Two Cows. Killer good stuff, mate.
[edit] Finding Bad Uncyclopedia Articles
Easy. Click Here It will be a short matter of time before you find one. There are a few key things to look for to ID bad articles. If you see any of the following, you may want to run away quickly, maybe even quicker than that.
- Is the article based off of anything Norwiegan? No SERIOUSLY! IS IT FUCKING NORWEIGAN? These fucking people must be retards! It's like the prevalant snow up there has frozen their fucking brains! If you see any letters not normally existent in the English language, Run the fuck away! I can prove that they suck, here, click on this: Norwiegan Articles which aren't Shitty See, there's no link there, they all fucking suck. Attention Norwiegans: Please write something that doesn't fucking suck. Not that I have anything against Norwiegans, mind you. ABBA had quite a few hits I enjoyed as a child. But then, I also liked Voltron when I was a child, so I had quite a lot of developing to do. And Thundercats, Jesus was that ever a dumb fucking show. I actually feel sorry for myself knowing I watched that shit.
- Length: If the article is shorter than 1 paragraph, ready your boomstick. There is a very high prevalance of gobshite stubs out there. That said, it ain't all bad, kids.
- List of: You run at 50/50 here. Playing with fire, prepare to get burned, you know?
- Does the Article describe an obscure British Township? Jesus Almighty Christ people! I don't give a flying FUCK about New Edmontonshire, and neither does ANYONE ELSE in the whole fucking world. I'm an American, I don't know what the fuck a Chav is, and me and everyone else on the planet give nothing even resembling half a shit how bad the coffee is in your obscure villages train depot! Give it up, Okay? Do you see me writing an article about East Tawas, Michigan? No! That's my fucking hometown, and I could write nearly 3 paragraphs of hatred about it, but I don't, because it's fucking Pointless!
