Undictionary:B

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Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z *

[edit] B

[edit] Baby

• A useful punching bag; a tax break. Noted for being very delicious when ground up.
• helpful when storing staples in a tree for later use. When you just put staples in the tree you may not be able to find them, but if you staple them into a baby and then to the tree you will see the baby when you come back to get the staples and you'll say, "Oh! That's where I left those staples! In that tree where that baby is." Then you just pull the baby out of the tree and, Yay!, you've got your staples back!

[edit] Babya

(verb). "To Babya", "he totally Babya'ed me"

Refers in the main to internet message boards, at least originally. To not respond to whatever concerns, questions or criticisms are posted about you. To be totally unemotional. To ignore negative comments and only respond to positive ones. To never get angry, insulted, or upset by anything that is ever said about you, including direct specific personal insults. And to be blind to any form of reality and be totally engrossed in something to the point of delusion.

A wenis'(noun)'"is the area of epidermis on the elbow. It is stretchy and usually lighter in pigment than the skin on the arm or rest of the body. This patch of skin becomes itchy and chafed easily, especially on females. Also spelled as weinis, from the german root weiner, meaning mark of sun spot, and wenus, from the greek root wephos, meaning soft skin (pronounced in the first syllable with a hard EE sound, second syllable undertoned with a soft 'e' and hard SS) similarly pronounced words: penis, (or male genitalia,) of beanus, (the root of an exotic rainforrest leaf)

[edit] Babyalogic

(noun) A state of being, devoid of reaction. A zen-like mental state of pure focus and bliss achieved by being in the "now", unaffected by regret or worry, unswayed by opinion, laws, or sentimentality. Babyalogical humans, unable to react to stimuli in a manner proscribed by social norms, are often described as having a "placid" exterior. They may become a target for undeserved anger directed at them by people who see, in that placid exterior, their own reflection. The amount of anger and upset caused in that circumstance is in direct proportion to the perceived lack of appeal or value of that reflection by the viewer.

[edit] Babylon

Babylon is an ancient country whose name came from its two main exports: babes and people named Lonnie. It was ruled by a mighty whore who was known to babble on about nothing.

[edit] Bachelor

A sensible man too enamored of domestic felicity to admit a wife and children into it.

u

[edit] BAC

1. Before the Antichrist
2. Before Air Conditioning.
3. Beatles Apple Co.
4. Bitch Ass Crackas (See also Media:Rap)

[edit] Backronym

The sound created when a person (generally a retard) attempts to phonetically pronounce the literal spelling of an acronym. For example, a backronym of the common LOL would sound like "lawl" or "lohl."

[edit] Backslash

1. An old move used in sword fighting that has now been banned in all countries.
2. The act of urinating the wrong way.
3. The barbed whip from which this move originated.
4. Guns N' Roses' guitarist's arch nemesis

Today, backslashes are considered barbaric, reserved for only the most deranged psychopathic killers. To perform a backslash, one must draw one's blade from its sheath, and with a backwards motion, aim for the neck, at which point the details become too grisly to describe.

[edit] Backstroke

1. A form of swimming, which entails one being on one's back.
2. The stroking of one's back
3. The act of reverse masturbation

[edit] Bad

Shortening of the line: Bill Ain't Dead. Wich many Bill lovers used to spam with everywhere when the movie Kill Bill was taken of the cinemas.

[edit] Bad Ass

An animal, very much like a donkey (in fact scientists can't work out the difference), that is misbehaving.

[edit] Badonkadonk

The white person's version of the slang term "booty"

[edit] Bad dream

1. One where the dreamer does something he or she doesn't have the balls to do in real life.
2. A frightening yet fictional event that comes true after you dream about it. Examples of such bad dreams could include hearing O.J. Simpson is acquitted of murder, discovering Barry Bonds uses steroids and Sammy Sosa corks bats, finding out George W. Bush was elected President of the United States and moving to Tucson for your sinuses only to find out they're worse after you have moved there.

[edit] Bakelite

An artificial thermoplastic with excellent electrical insulating properties, Bakelite is made by heating and compressing dried poo. The original poo can be recovered by boiling in water. Originally only brown Bakelite was made but today a whole rainbow of bright colours is available. Made from the rare white poo, coloured Bakelite products naturally come with a correspondingly higher price tag.

[edit] Bakie

A sweetened dessert made from dough. It's almost identical to the cookie, but the Bakie is baked instead of cooked.

[edit] Benchwarmers

Another name for farting on the bench

[edit] Bald

(A)Britney Spears (B)Your mama

[edit] Balderdash

A rapidly receding hairline

[edit] Ballin

A level of coolness measured by the number of super balls accumulated in one's lifetime.

• A term only of recognition for people who have managed to suck 10 balls at one time. (rarely achieved.)

[edit] Ballot

A Moebius strip used in popular democracies for the purpose of voting.

[edit] Balls

Spherical object used for various things. (I.E. Putting in hoops, putting in "goals", putting in gloves...)

[edit] Ballroom dancing

A form of dancing that is performed totally indoors. It first originated in a disused handball court, hence the name. Couples are judged on their ability to pass between and through the paths of other couples without actually making contact or experiencing near-misses. Ballroom dancing has progressed to the point where TV networks have put on contests in prime time. Thousands of letters have been received by the networks asking, "What happened to football?"

[edit] BAMF

Bad-Ass Mother Fucker: A donkey that is misbehaving. A donkey that fucks mothers, badly. Sometimes refers to an ass that does the same, although some argue that it is just a donkey in disguise.

[edit] Bampersand

v. To horribly mutilate.

[edit] Bananacronym

Any form of idiotic behaviour involving attempting to find a viable word formed by rearranging three A's, two N's and a B. No-one has the faintest idea why.

[edit] Banana Banana

A banana made entirely out of bananas.

[edit] Banana Hammock

A hammock for bananas to sleep at night.

[edit] Banana-Minute

A measure of distance. Similar to the light-year, which is defined as the distance light travels in one year, the banana-minute is defined as the distance a banana (under no external influences) travels in one minute relative to the (horizontal) surface it is resting on.

[edit] Banana Nebula

A nebula made of bananas, which contains functions. Redundancy is a function of the functions from the Banana Nebula, and is what causes them to be functional. The functional redundancy of the functions from the Banana Nebula is functionally redundant.

[edit] Banana peel

A stellar object roughly 28,000km in diameter that that randomly travels the length and breadth of The Milky-Way Galaxy causing unusual and often hilarious astral phenomenon of a slapstick nature.

A sexually explicit form of eurythmics unbefitting of a banana.

[edit] Banana-Rama

What now?

[edit] Banana Republic

Overpriced fag store...where all bananas come from.

[edit] Banana Split

A painful manoeuvre attempted by someone who answers dirty spam.

[edit] Banhammer

An object found usually in an admin's posession. The banhammer is used to hammer away at problems. It is typically formed out of a dense cobalt composite or any such hard substance such as jello, sand, or urine.

[edit] Banjo

Supreme rulers of the universe only visible to us as the coolest instrument ever played.

[edit] Banshee

A drunk diva.

[edit] Barbe

A child's doll that is a Vietnam war hero. The current version of this doll is missing an eye to show that war is not easy.

[edit] Barn

Popular birthplace for children when inn's are full. More commonly used to keep cows dry when it rains in order to stop them shrinking.

[edit] Barney

A harmless yet contagious purple lump which may attach itself to children.

[edit] Barnsley

The absolute centre of the universe and officially the greatest place in the world, better than everywhere. Especially Hull

[edit] Bartering

Tha process o' tradin' Dollaz n' tha fre' markit, Biy'atch!

[edit] Basalt

Part of an old Geology joke. When out in the field in the freezing cold, it's not Baltic, instead it's basaltic

[edit] Bazi

This is about 8 words.

[edit] Baseball boots

An alternative way of booting a computer. The technique enables one to boot the computer from the other side of a large room or even from the other side of a busy road. Requirements: A baseball, a bat, Windows Vista.

[edit] Bash

A Unix shell used to hit people over the head with. Short for Ballmer Shell. See also: Clue by four.

[edit] Basketcase

Small carry case for transporting wicker baskets safely from A to B.

[edit] B.A.T.

A short term for "Boring Ass Teachers" or "Boring Ass Teacher" depends if there's just one, like that will ever happen.

The thing(s) that give(s) you A.D.D.

[edit] Batburgers

A foodstuff credited for spawning numerous nationwide locations (BatDonalds), an animated series (BatburgerMan and Chicken Boy), and a series of collectible Pez dispensers shaped like Batburger meat. Marketers, seeing the potential in Batburgers, invested heavily in the stock (NYSE: BTBRG) and now own 51% of the company.

[edit] Bat Mitzvah

A Bat Mitzvah is more like a Jewish unbirthday with a piñata than its male equivalent, the Bar Mitzvah. Party guests hit the papier maché sculpture with a bat, which causes money to spill out on the lawn. For good luck, the Bat Mitzvah girl then prostitutes herself by diving for the bills. Since Mitzvah means good deed, this act of materialistic gymnastics is deemed worthwhile because the Bat Mitzvah girl will no doubt need some skills later in life. Her hopes of snagging a rich hubby are now permanently dashed, as no upstanding Jewish boy would be interested in any girl who wallows in the mud like swine. Bat Mitzvah girls have varied career plans, which include working at Hooters, starring in reality TV shows, wrestling other girls in the mud at decrepit bars in Texas or becoming head writer on any show starring Ellen DeGenères. See also Bra Mitzvah.

[edit] Bat-shit insane

Adj.

1. Absolutely and irredeemably insane
2. Completely fucking crazy
3. Not right in the head
4. A little bit sane
5. So fucked up they're likely to eat McDonalds
6. The mating call of the wild Jon Stewart
7. Smart, rich, and cool under-fire
8. A person who regularly visits Uncyclopedia

Noun

1. Tom Cruise
2. Jack Cain
3. George Lucas
4. You

[edit] Battery

A battery is a huge bat looking bacteria, which can manifest itself on computers if liquids are spilt on it. The original idea of the film Gremlins came from the director's problems with batteries.

[edit] Battle of Taboo

The furious battle in which everyone who paid to watch the Phantom Menace tried to dismember George Lucas. Sadly, Lucas got away and did two more movies without anybody being able to stop the fucker.

[edit] Bayeria

A nation centered around the San Francisco Bay, with San Francisco as its capital. Its national flag is a rainbow. It is ruled under a peculiar sort of monarchy, composed of hundreds of kings and queens who do not have any sort of hereditary succession.

[edit] Beatles

1. The Rolling Stones at their day jobs.
2. That band that guy was in before Wings. Was 4 young men, now 2 old men. And only one talented one.

THEY SAID THEY WERE BIGGER THAN JESUS YET ONE GOT SHOT IN THE BACK, THE OTHER ONE DIED OF CANCER, ONE'S JUST HAD ALL HIS MONEY TAKEN OFF HIM AND THE OTHER ONE IS OLD AND BALD AND HOPELESS AT THE DRUMS.

[edit] Becki

Becki comes from the Greek word Rebeckulous meaning redundant or useless. It has become a standard word in the retail industry for produce past its sell-by-date which must then be given to blind, homeless people. The tomato, for instance, is often thought to go becki rather quickly, but a watermelon can sit out in the sun for days without going becki.

[edit] Beef

Verb

To attack someone with a portion of beef or any other bovine meat.

Noun

A ceremony during which someone is being beefed.

e.g. "Cut it out or I'll beef you with this...beef." "It's what's for dinner." (implied).

[edit] Beemer

Two wheeled transportation device often, but not always propelled by two opposed pistons. Also spotted as a bling-device having four chromed wheels, tinted windows and a dark skinned driver dressed up like he's about to go play golf.

[edit] Beforemath

The anticipation of math.

[edit] Beggar

An invisible man with a visible cup.

[edit] Belittle

To constantly diss small people

The opposite of belarge

[edit] Bendry

The word Bendry is derived from an ancient language called gayguyinese. It is a language only spoken by the retards of our society. Bendry's true meaning is over 60000 words long, all of them meaning negative things, but in summary, it means: a person who regularly looks up gay porn and gets a little too excited when seeing such images.

[edit] Benny Bell

Benny Bell, neé Benedicto Bellagio, was a Portuguese opera composer. In his most famous opera, Shaving Cream, he originally played the role of Ricardo the Razor. The English translation of this tragic tale can be seen here[1].

Benny Bell as Ricard the Razor

[edit] Bertie ahern

Undisputed King of Ireland, except some dispute Enda Kenny is.

[edit] Better

So much more likeable than good, and OK has nothing on it. Someday, little better will be the best.

Better sometimes slips on an O and picks up a gambling problem. If U handle better carelessly, it turns to butter.

[edit] BH

Before Hoff is a standard system of time where the years before the birth of David Hasselhoff are known as BH (e.g. 2000BH).

[edit] Bi

Correct plural of bus

[edit] BIAS

A U.S. federal agency that has become a catch-all organization through expediency rather than by design. Originally focused on matters dealing with Native American populations, in 2002, the Bureau officially changed its name to the Bureau of Indian Affairs and Shit.

[edit] Bible Yann (Not at all related to Bible Dave)

A 2D "sidescroller" game in which you are a homosexual fiend and must try and stay gay. You must navigate through a jungle to find tools of homosexual pleasure before your homosexuality meter reaches zero, in which case you turn straight, which will mean the end of the game. The main protagonist of the game is based on a mysterious anthropomorphic chicken breast commonly known as 'Yann', also known to some underground types as 'Tripod' for completely unknown reasons. It is believed that this entity was once a human or at least it was humanoid in shape, but these rumours cannot be confirmed. Sadly the antagonist is still unknown due to the fact that no matter how gay the player of the game is, nobody has ever reached such a level of homosexuality that they can pass the first level. We did however manage to uncover some secret documents written by the creators of the game before their heads exploded, apparently caused by an overdose of homosexuality. These documents have revealed that in the final level, Yann must give himself pleasure while in orbit of the planet Bob, and while doing this fight his greatest nemesis (many believe to be Jesus, yet the scepticism is quite high) In a matter of days this game was a bestseller for its producers W.A.G, selling a record breaking 14 copies, greatly outselling the company's other great titles such as 'Hobomania' and 'Dress Him Up'.

[edit] Bicycle

The act of kicking people through wormholes

[edit] Bidet

Two days before D-Day.

[edit] Big Hand, The

Together with "The Little Hand", "The Big Hand" is a term used by parents and teachers when explaining to very, very, young children - and George Bush - how to tell the time. Not to be confused with "the long arm of the law" or "doing time"

[edit] Big Toe, the rule of the

An alternative "rule of thumb" for use by people who do not have thumbs. Generally useless for hitchhiking.

[edit] Bigamist

More fog.

[edit] Bigotry

Where the Negros hung the lynch mob.

[edit] Biginate

To make something bigger. Not to be confused with "enlarge", which is something completely different.

[edit] Bikini

A Weapon of Mass-turbation.

[edit] Billions of billions of billions

One billion is 10⁹, so BoBoB is 10²⁷. Defined by Carl Sagan as an astronomical constant representing the actual value of the number A lot.

[edit] Binary Code

If you know what Binary Code is, you're a fucking queer.

[edit] Binomial Nomenclature

An ancient language spoken only by scientists. Its main purpose is to confuse the general public on matters of plants and animals.

[edit] Biography

A story about someone's life in which all interesting details are omitted.

[edit] Bjorn Again Again

An official Bjorn Again tribute band.

[edit] Black Guerilla Army

The army of the Planet of the Apes.

[edit] Black guilt

The quilt associated with making white people feel guilty.

[edit] Black Hole of Calcutta

Acceptable when no Woman is available. Scientists are currently investigating why the existence of a black hole on the Earth hasn't destroyed it, and also currently being mocked by Intelligent Design advocates.

[edit] Black Humour

A disease feared greatly - especially by the Elizabethans - which causes one to find morbid events very humorous, and generally to develop a sense of humour which others see as twisted and disturbing. A great number of people today, especially artists and Goths, are afflicted by this disorder, for which there is no known cure. Often referred to as "Black Humor" in uncivilized countries where usage of the letter "u" is apparently either taboo or completely misunderstood.

[edit] Black Market

A Black Market is a secret shopping club where trendy fashions and gourmet foods are sold. These transactions all take place with customers and staff wearing traditional Menstrual blackface paint and rainbow Afro wigs. While most black markets operate only in upper class boutique areas, some prefer seedier locals, such as the Qtar black market in Encino. It is uncertain when the first black market opened but some seem to think it was last Thursday at around tea time.

[edit] Blackle

Just like Google but with a black background. Seriously!

[edit] Blaerignarof

Pronounced bleh-rig-na-roff

No one knows what is means, but is the koolest word in the no-English language.

Used by people who do not speak English and are trying to insult you

Man 1 "You suck!"

Man 2 "Uealuealuealuea Blaerignarof"

[edit] Blackberry

Businessmen sometimes use these to communicate with each other between pointless meetings, but normal people just eat them.

[edit] Black Projects

Government funded domiciles where African-American bureaucrats work on top-secret projects that most agencies feel are too controversial to be allowed into public knowledge.

[edit] Blasphemer

noun

One of satans bitches

verb - blaspheme

to be bitched upon by satan

[edit] Blizzard

"Blended lizard". A type of salamander which can survive in sub-zero temperatures. Takes the expression 'cold-blooded' to a new level.

[edit] Blog

1. Software that allows you to comment on other blogs without getting moderated.
2. The apotheosis of the anecdotal.

[edit] Blogger

1.Online version of the scruffy old guy with a beard wandering down the street pushing a supermarket trolley and talking to himself.

2.Probably the best way to get raped.

[edit] Blonde joke

There is no such thing as a Blonde joke. All the stories you have heard are true. We only call them "jokes" so that the blondes in the room don't get upset. If they get mad, they won't put out.

Just kidding!!...Of course they'll put out.

[edit] Blorghoigaknughick

A device used in some obscure religions for chastising holy men whilst they are unconscious after a night of heavy drinking. Resembles, in almost every way, a concrete brezeblock with some rope tied on to swing it by.

[edit] Blunt Instrument

Sir Henry Blunt-Instrument, the inventor of the simple Cosh, and the more sophisticated Rubber Chicken, was born in 1835. He worked for several years as an itinerant mathematician before discovering his talent for invention. He was knighted in 1872 for his contribution to violence and general thuggery.

[edit] Board game

Board games are games where you beat people to death with a board, in order to get to their sweet, sweet organs within.

[edit] Board of Directors

A Bored of Directors is an alternative term for the central source of evil, pain, and suffering in the universe, the corporate Senior Management Team. This collection of malicious vulture-like spirit creatures, sometimes also called corporate officers, will wait until their victim is too bored to be paying attention before moving in for the kill.

[edit] Bob Geldof

The Gaelic name for God

[edit] Bodmas

1 The generic term used for a group of fucking wankers.

2 That thing calculators do which prevents 5+2x2+4 equalling 42, the greatest number in the entire whole sort of general mish mash. Instead you will get 13, at which point you will gain such bad luck that even people cursed with breaking a mirror every day of their lives will be luckier than you. This is why modern mathematicians prefer algebra.

[edit] Body bags

Like knitting bags and condoms, Body bags are for carrying things. Side handles make them especially effective for carrying bodies and also rolled up carpets or large orchestral instruments. Body bags were especially popular in the seventies, but made a comeback in Katrina-era No Orleans in 2005.

[edit] Bollocks

Urban security devices.

[edit] Bolshevik

One of the seven (now eight) words you can't say on network television. The word is used in everyday speech throughout the West, though used outside of its literal meaning. In general, when used to swear it indicates falsehood, distrust, or disbelief at a person or one's actions.

"Bolshevik! That's some real Bolshevik! You're full of it! Full of Bolshevik! I oughta beat the Bolshevik outta you all! Fook." ~ John Lenin

[edit] Bomb squad technician

Even on a bad day, they still get a bang out of work.

[edit] Bonability

A measure of Beauty, usually on a 7-point scale. Bonability specifically refers to the desire of the observer to bed the observed. Being a bit on the vulgar side, this rating system was eventually banned from inter-office communication late in the Clinton Presidency.

[edit] Bonii

The plural of bonus. Also, your mother.

[edit] Bonsai

An Italian species of cat that comes in small glass containers of different shapes. They generally are difficult to shape and require large amounts of care to grow correctly. Because they are unable to reproduce naturally, when one dies, it is reincarnated as a kitten in another glass container. Highly prized because glass containers make them easier to huff.

[edit] Bongo City Cup

A football tournament, featuring the first team of Bongo City Football Club. Opponents are by invitation only, and in previous years a bag of potatoes, some traffic cones, and 11 LiveDolls have all won.

Since 1999 no opponents have been invited. Since this change in policy, Bongo City have come close to winning.

[edit] Boo-yah

What Gosh said to His followers upon hearing their pleas.

[edit] Boobage

When the boobs bounce up and down.

[edit] Booby trap

1. Alternate descriptor for brassiere, used as a complaint when the referred to brassiere is particularly constricting.
2. A lacy little number intended to capture the libidinous attentions of a gent. Often the very tight brassiere is attention grabbing precisely because of its tightness.
3. A sneaky trap set up to damage a soldier unexpectedly, calculated to resemble the female bosom. The basic trap design depended on an soldier's tendency to reach out and touch some part of a breast when seen in the dark. The trap would look like a breast, the love-starved soldier would come across the breast as he squirmed along a trench or through a newly discovered former German dugout. The soldier would see the dim outline or shape of a breast lurking in the darkness, instinctively reach out to explore the matter further and KABOOM. Many times the soldiers further back from the explosion would report that the last words they heard the deceased say were variations of, "Oh look a booby......."
4. In English slang a *boob* is an *idiot*, a *stupido*, a person more than one sandwich short of a picnic. Verilowdmowth claims that only the most stupid Englishman would ever be tricked into blowing himself up and that the average soldiers started calling the traps set by the Germans *boob traps* because only the platoon *boob* was ever tricked by these kind of traps. Lord 'mowth has never managed to explain how the *y* got added to *boob* in the phrase. Without this vital explanation his theory falls far short of credibility in any reasonable mind (which his is obviously not).
5. Historically, men across the globe have been primarily in search of one thang. To get thier dangalang in some pootang, mane. A booby trap is kinda like a booty trap. It's a complex ploy, devised by a member of the male species, to get some.

[edit] Book suppository

A book suppository is like a bookmark but, instead of marking one's place by letting it hang out of the top of the book, you poke it up into the bottom of the book.

[edit] Booom

The sound that will be heard somewhere in the Western world as soon as "negotiations" with Iran concerning its nuclear weapons program are officially ended.

[edit] Boose

Equivalent to acting like a bitch.

[edit] Booties

Thought by people with several capital letters at the end of their names to be an ancient idea spawning from the lack of extraordinarily small boots with a rather cute name. Although little is actually known about these, they are believed to have something to do with binkies. Spelt booty, however, it is the forever sought after treasure of the pirate king, McArr.

[edit] Bootsen

A rare species of human that are often mistaken for lunatics. In reality they are completely sane and know some of the true mechanics of the world.

[edit] Bored

A condition often seen in visitors to Wikipedia. The most effective cure, generally, is a visit to Uncyclopedia.

[edit] Borehead

The term borehead refers to "one with a big forehead". Use of this term is widespread in areas prone to the inhabitance of politicians. Although the term is often used to refer to men with receding hair-lines (also known as borehead-line), a man with a full head of hair or even a woman can be a borehead. This insult is generally used by private school students after neglecting to use their highly paid schooling to actually learn a good insult.

Borehead is pronounced Boh-red, similar to "sorred", a word that does not exist. The "o" and "e" in "borehead" are spoken as soft vowels.

The winner of the ultimate borehead award in all categories has been won by Sven-Göran Eriksson every year since its inception in 1672. It is assumed that the sheer power of Eriksson's borehead helps him to win the women's ultimate borehead prize each year. Each time Erikson accepts the award, he produces his trademark "no-expression" facial expression.

[edit] Boston

City in the USA where it is compulsory to wear red socks.

[edit] Botanist

A person who grows other plants besides cannabis. See also: dealer, drug, Charlie Sheen, toke.

[edit] Bouillon of bouillon

A poisonous purple soup made of soapy snail droppings served in France. Originally invented as a proof that the French are just plain stupides.

[edit] Bourgoisie

A fancy word for the upper class, who don't really have to work if they don't want to, and who don't contribute a whole hell of a lot even when they try. See also: The Republican Party

[edit] Bowflex

A musical instrument which produces a sound that resembles that of a dying French ambassador. Now used in many types of bands. Orchestras add the instrument to support the violin section, while some rock bands such as weezer and reel big fish have added it to add a punchier feel to their death metal songs.

[edit] Bowie knife

The knife that was invented by David Bowie and made famous when he fought Ziggy Stardust. The Bowie knife is a direct ancestor of the Rambo knife.

[edit] Box offices

Offices where people obtain boxes. Often, they buy boxes, but on occasion they steal them, and on even rare occasions (such as Boxing Day) the box office profits allow the box offices to give away boxes.

[edit] Boxer shorts

Originally a type of underwear worn by Boxer Dogs. Invented for the Levi jeans advert of the 1980s, which featured Rosie O'Donnell undressing for a "Cut & Shave" in a barber shop. See also: Ascot

[edit] Boxing

Boxing is a lot like ballroom dancing but there is no music and the dancers hit each other.

[edit] Bra

A hellish instrument of torture devised to keep

[edit] Bug (physics)

The bug is the non-SI metric unit of cuteness. It is defined as one-thousandth of a button (physics) button. Originally, the "bug" was defined as the cuteness of a Japanese teenager, but this usage was depreciated by the Concensus on Pointlessly Debated Semantics of 1862.

One bug is equal to roughly 7/10000 English angels, and 0.002 urban all-get-outs.

[edit] Bug-Rug

The Bug-Rug is the metric unit of snugness. A bug-rug is one bug (a metric unit of cuteness) in one rug (the SI unit of traction). Thus, two bug-rugs is equivalent to two bugs in one rug, or likewise, one bug in two rugs. The SI equivalent, the button-rug, never gained traction in the scientific community, and was later discarded.

The English equivalent of the bug-rug is the bed. The urban equivalent is the all-up-in-there.

[edit] But now for something completely different...a man with three buttocks

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[edit] Button (physics)

The button is the SI unit of cuteness. The cuteness of a button is defined as the quantity needed to make a crotchetty old man smile within one second of exposure, which is equivalent to the cuteness of an average white infant. One thousand buttons is a kilobutton. One one-thousandth of a button is a bug.

The english equivalent of the button is the angel, equal to 14.26 buttons. The urban equivalent of the button is the all-get-out, approximately 0.416 buttons.

[edit] Brainwash

A surgical operation performed on the brain. It usually involves removing the cranial lid, and using a brush to dust off the braincooler and remove any grime that might have collected over the years, to improve cerebral functions.

[edit] Bra Mitzvah

From the word "bra," which stands for Buxom Restraining Apparatus, and "Mitzvah," which means "damn good," this Jewish ritual honouring breasts of all sizes is celebrated when a girl gets her first training bra. The ritualistic removal of her bra by her boyfriend is also referred to as a Bra Mitzvah, as is the burning of one's bra by Gloria Steinem. See also Bat Mitzvah.

[edit] Brass

A rare variety of glass (hence the name) used in Poland to make small apes and monkeys. While the practice of making primates out of brass is now extinct, the term "Brass Monkey" is still in common parlance.

[edit] Brass Monkey

Monkeys made of brass (or in latter years other types of glass). The tradition of making brass primates originates from Poland.

[edit] Brazillian

A billion zillion, in other words a whole lot.

[edit] Breasticles

1. Humps half way between ones breasts and ones testicles, which comes about in the offspring of two members of opposite sexes. Although Breasticle disorder does have serious drawbacks, due to the debilitating effects upon ones diaphragm, reproduction still occours.

[edit] Broken

The ground state of an appliance

[edit] Bribery

The subtle art of getting rid of dirty money in exchange for getting out of some trouble or other. Who wants to use clean money for that?

[edit] Brick

The basic atomic unit of Belgium. Belgium is in essence a pile of bricks. Mainly comes in a muddy brown colour, but occasional yellow, red and tan variations, which can be almost pleasing to the eye.

[edit] Brick wall

Originally, the term 'brick wall' referred to a wall made of bricks. In September 26 1997, however, this was changed to refer to a new type of wall invented by Professor M Brick. Though it looks solid, when moving fast enough an object can actually travel right through these walls unharmed. Because the conversion is a simple matter of re-arranging the Smiyamo-TO molecules, most walls today have been converted to Brick Walls, though this is generally kept quiet as law enforcement officials don't like people to know they can run through them.

[edit] Britney Spears

Britney spears are more pointy and deadly than regular spears, and have twice the vitamins of broccoli spears. See also: Lance Armstrong, Spike Lee.

[edit] British celebrity chefs

An expression introduced by comedian Harald Eia in 1992 to be an example of oxymoron, offered together with "Italian celebrity sumo wrestlers", and "intelligent American".

[edit] Broadway

If you're a guy your wife or girlfriend better be dragging ya to this street. If not you're gay and don't care. Or you have some issues that some nice guys on this street could help ya with.

1. Broadway is an important street in New York's theatre district, located one block between Offbroadway Road and the Offoffbroadway Parkway.
2. Broadway is famous in New York as it is the main street of Cape Vincent.

[edit] Broil

Obviously a compond word, broil is a mix between Br- and -oil and is a method of preparing food for a long journey using extremely cold but non-frozen oil, which is kept in a liquid state due to tha fact that you are keeping it constantly moving. Once swirled in said oil, the food is safe for an amount of days depending on the heat of the region you are traveling for. Broil can be purchased at almost nowhere and is at a retail price of about $660 dolars a bottle.

[edit] Broklyn

The place that the Mario Bros. live, a poorer version of Brooklyn. Everyone there is broke.

[edit] Brown

1. The color of Indians [a.k.a. the color of the smartest, most talented, most athletic, most religious, most holy, most highly, most criticly acclaimed, most good at understanding perverted jokes, most likely to turn emo over a 99% on an assignment, and greatest at making racial jokes (mainly about people of the pale-skinned persuasion), and greatest type of human on the planet]
2. The color of good poo
3. The color of chocolate
4. The most beautiful color in the world of colors and in The Color Wheel
5. Charlie

[edit] Budweisium

An artificially created un-element that has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable from water. See: Idiotic table of the elements.

[edit] Buggery

A traditional folk-dance originating in Belgium. The leading partner, or "pitcher", takes his partner, or "catcher", firmly by the waist and begins a series of complex and intricate manoeuvres.

[edit] Bukakki

The greasy essence of a necropornstar on an acid trip.

[edit] Bullet Thyme

An illegal drug which slows down the user's sense of time. It is often prepared by extracting the active ingredient and injecting it into blue jellybeans.

[edit] Bull Bars

The bottom of a bulb.

[edit] Bum

An unprofessionally homeless person highly trained in the arts and sciences of nonsense. In the mind of a bum, the following holds for all thoughts n:

1. To get a job one can know only a single skill (e.g., playing a musical instrument)
2. To get money one can completely avoid salaries, reputations, and chipmunks.
3. To get out of debt one does not need money.
4. To get out of the asylum one need not act sane.
5. Home is for suckers.

[edit] Bunburying

n.

The act of burying one's cock between the buns of another person, esp. another male. (coined by Oscar Wilde)

[edit] Bunsen burner

A device for spraying burning liquids over distances up to 200 ft, best adapted for burning someone's buns off. Originally invented by Mahatma Sri Bunsen for keeping off over-credulous groupies.

[edit] BURNiNATE

to set fire to the countryside, peasants, all the peoples, and/or cottages.

[edit] BURNiNATING

What Trogdor does to the countryside, peasants, all the peoples, and cottages.

[edit] BURNiNATION

The act of BURNiNATING the countryside, peasants, all the peoples, and/or cottages.

[edit] Bust a move

In nuclear physics, to add or remove of a Neutron from an element to form a new isotope of that element.

[edit] Butt

n.

1. The direct object of all jokes. A person's sitter.

v.

1. To shove others out of a line to get ahead.

[edit] Butt-buddy

n. A butt's best friend.

[edit] Buttenfly

Originally only found in textile factories during the late 1800's, the Buttenfly has come upon a new residence in the wake of the dramatic industrial revolution: the common household button. Most buttenflies live in south North America and north South America although their population has been going down since the invention of RAID. If we, the human race, can discover how buttons mate, not only can we have an unlimited supply of buttons but the buttenfly will once again have a small secluded place to live.

[edit] Buttsecks

v.

To stick one's butt into another person's butt.

n.

The act of doing the above.

[edit] Butt Pirate

n.

1. Someone who makes and sells pirated copies of pornographic movies, not to be confused with software pirates.
2. A sea pirate who has been at sea a little too long.
3. A man who disowns the etiquettes of dating
4. A rather silly South American fish found in the Amazon basin.

Some more famous butt pirates include Benjamin Dover, Ishaf Myrear and Bob Dole

[edit] Buzzer

One who cuts hair using an electric razor; a barber of the New School. See also: sniper

[edit] Byte

An antiquated word for the US dollar. In the olden days, the smallest form of currency was the bit which is the equivalent of 12.5 cents. 8 bits equaled 1 byte or 100 modern cents. It is interesting to note that one of most famous singers of the past, 4 bit, is the grandfather of the greatest rapper on the planet.

[edit] Byte me

Poor spelling on the part of a nerd