Undictionary:E
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[edit] E
[edit] E
The commonest letter in the alphabet, the least common letter in alphabet soup and just one of many, many letters in alphabetti spaghetti. Hard to believe, I know.
Also, the easiest letter to tap out in Morse Code, being three dashes, followed by two dots, a single dash and three further dots. Thank God for the telephone.
[edit] Eargasm
A sensation experienced when listening to good music.
[edit] Earth
- Mostly harmless.
- A planetary nursery for infants and gods.
[edit] Earthling
A dispised human from Earth who communicates with aliens. The politically correct term for earthling is Terran.
[edit] Eastenders
British tv soap used by the government to show the country how life could be a lot worse thus promoting the feel good factor.
[edit] Ebarfulate
To suddenly and vehemently spew out vomit or barf from a living body in an orgasmic, jerking or involuntary motion in reaction to a particularly foul or offensive sequence of words or events - while conducting E-business. Not to be confused with iBarfulate, which is the same thing except while using an iPod.
[edit] Ebay
A place where losers (well, technically winners) go to buy crap that is either stolen or has passed through the digestive tract of 7 different animals (not including Vampires,werewolves or weretrouts, items with these qualifications can be found under 'Amazon').
The place to buy anything your mind can think of. They frickin sell jets on e-bay!!! and paperclips. dont forget the paperclips.
[edit] Ebil
Like evil but with a B instead of a V.
[edit] Ease
A fictional Cockney villian. As in Ease he does it.
[edit] E-fit
An uncontrollable muscular spasm caused when you discover that you've deleted your entire email inbox and you can't get it back.
[edit] Edrivered
The act of using construction tools to destroy a computer in a fit of rage induced by a slow loading time.
[edit] East End, The
The East End, birfin' graund a' Cockernee's, sich-ew-ay-tid in Laaandaaan
[edit] Eazy E
A short lived line of comfortable chairs made by La-Z-Boy.
In Australia, the term "Eazy E" is used to describe a situation where anybody has sexual relations with a drug dealer for the sole benfit of free Ecstasy tablets. The slang word "Eazy E" is used as its commonly known that drugs dealers will take home anybody for sexual relations, & that the said drug dealer will soon OD, resulting in no living proof of the sexual relations you had, hence obtaining "E" this way is "Eazy".
[edit] Eco-friendly
The act of being filthy rich while pretending to save the planet. Eco-friendly people are pricks, and if women, with fake tans and silicon boobs. think BONO AND GELDOF
[edit] Edmund Fitzgerald
Longtime companion of Gerald Fitzedmund. A complete wreck by now...
[edit] Education
The approved method for banishing literacy and numeracy from a society.
[edit] EEEEEEEEEEE
The sound made by a balloon after you've blown it up and you let the air out by stretching the blowtube until it's almost closed. Coincidentally, you can get precisely the same sound by standing on a young child while holding a smallish engine from a Japanese car.
[edit] Effluent
Alternative name for a pachyderm for people troubled with the pronounciation of 'elephant'
[edit] Egghead
Humpty-Dumpty, the big-headed smelly smart kid in your class or Your Mum.
[edit] Eggs
A small oval object that is served best with revenge. Desu Desu Desu.
[edit] Eggs Benedict
Eggs Benedict is a rare delicacy made of eggs laid by Pope Benedict XVI.
[edit] Eh
- The first letter in the Canadian alphabet.
- The second letter in the Canadian alphabet.
- The fourth letter in the Canadian alphabet.
- The sixth letter in the Canadian alphabet.
- ...etc...
- as in: a eh b eh c eh d eh e eh f eh g eh h eh i eh j eh k eh l eh m eh n eh o eh p eh q eh r eh s eh t eh u eh v eh w eh x eh y eh z eh
[edit] Einzelwortbeantwortungsneigung
(Isolated word answer inclination) German for answering any and all questions with a single word.
[edit] Eketahuna
Eketahuna is a mythical place (i.e. "don't you talk to your mother like that or I'll send you to Eketahuna") except that it actually exists.
Eketahuna is located in the North Island on even days and the South Island on odd days, so be careful when addressing mail - although Eketahuna doesn't have any population so it would be a bit pointless sending them mail, wouldn't it?
[edit] Electric organ
An electric organ is any organ in the human body that requires or generates electricity. Examples include the brain, the pancreas and the kneecaps Organ.
[edit] Electroluminscence
Bain of all who study it, this complicated mechanism messes with the mind and simultaneously emits radiation. It involves electrons and levels and funny drawings, none of which are available on the internet.
[edit] Electron
A time when users, agents and people who have been transported to a computer security program in a sentient, glowing-highlight form against their will cast ballots to see who will win and be president or something.
The last president voted for in this fashion was Stuart the duck from The Simpsons. He will reign supreme above all others until next Thursday, when a new vote will be taken.
The slogan used during Ron White's presidential campaign.
Needless to say, he lost. With such an unimaginative campaign slogan, it's no wonder he didn't get any votes.
Although, his mother would have voted for him if she had been looking for Ron White on the ballot instead of "Tater Salad".
[edit] Electro-optic effect
Electro-optic effect: is when an electromagnetic wave in a laser interacts with a electromagnetic field, or with matter under the influence of an electric field. Two of the most important electro-optic effects are the Kerr effect and the Pockels effect, in which birefringence is induced or modified in a liquid (Kerr effect) or solid (Pockels effect).
[edit] Elephant
What you think of when somebody asks you to not think of an elephant.
[edit] Eleventy-One
Old English. Translates to "eleventeen to the power of one".
[edit] Elf
eleven midgets
A big blond tart with pointy ears and a bunch of weird mates including at least eleven dwarves. From the German elf, meaning 'earless'.
[edit] Elfis
An elf (elven) Elvis Impersonator. Popular for his guest appearances in the Los Angeles morning radio talk show Mark & Brian. Elfis hates Yetis; Yetis eats Santa's elves - Elfis' concert audience.
[edit] Elgin Marbles
The Elgin Marbles are a series of monumental marble sculptures decorating the outside of the British Museum in Athens. They were built by Lord Elgin and depict scenes of everyday life in classical Athens. The Elgin Marbles are sometimes misleadingly known as the "Parthenon Marbles", a reference to the fact that in the 19th Century some of them were stolen from the museum and taken to London, where they were stored in the Parthenon.
[edit] ELIZA
Do you often look for ELIZA? Why? Are you sure? I see. Tell me more.
[edit] Elitist
I am a Luxie Luxie. I drink Cognac Cognac.
[edit] Elmo
A Spanish mo. It can also mean "the mo". "Elmo" is a collective name for a dangerous specie that live in Spain. Many people think that Elmos are kind and funny. They are also associated with child pornography and child abuse. If you live in Spain and you have seen "the Elmo" then immediately call child protective service. Look for the red soft hair (it is red due to the fact that it is died in children's blood!).
An apprentice to Bob Dole. This has been speculated to be true because Elmo feels the need to repeat Elmo's name incessantly. Much like Bob Dole.
[edit] El Spiko
(n) Small mammal. Lives in rocky areas where large sums of water fall from the sky. Other names: Fleshbag, Spiker.
[edit] Elvii
The plural of Elvis.
[edit] Ely
The first, tinyest inkling that something, somewhere has gone terrible wrong.
[edit] Emancipation
The process by which a man's genitals are no longer wieved upon as a rational argument for him to maintain his Ego. This process also entitles women to strengthen their Ego with the corresponding suitable body parts.
[edit] Embalmer
An Embalmer is someone who greatly enjoys looking at/touching dead bodies. They are also known as Necrophiliacs, and have often been caught groping or embracing their patients. They usually have dark rings around their eyes, and smell strangely of pickled walnuts.
[edit] Emergency vehicle
An emergency vehicle is any vehicle designed to create an emergency situation. Specialised equipment on board helps responders in their tasks to create even more havoc, and sirens notify other motorists that they better clear the way or be history. Emergency vehicles are usually dispatched from a centre that takes calls from an emergency telephone number. Persons who want to create emergency situations should call that number. In most countries calling this number costs nothing.
[edit] Eminent domain
Much like screaming "it's coming right at me" before taking an endangered species' life, eminent domain is something you scream before taking someone's property.
[edit] Emission
An e-mission is any clandestine mission carried out electronically, most often by a hacker. It is also just another word with E prepended to it, a fad of the dot com era's back-to-basics movement to clarificate and de-un-simplify verbiage.
E-mission control laws have huge effects on digital civil liberties and may cause problems with your SUV's navigation system. Some definitions therefore imply that an emission is something that is exuded from something else (i.e. "car emissions"); alas, this is actually just a play on the well-known grooming habits of hackers.
[edit] Emo
An emo is a great person! He laughs and eats food like we do! They like to play volleyball, basketball, and rugby! Only once they get back home, they GET OUT A BIG F***ING KNIFE AND SLIT EVERY LIMB (including throat) UNTIL THEY BLEED ALL OVER. Then they take a nice little nappy, and start over a new shiny pretty day.
Nooeell Noeell. Noelll noell. It used to be eLmo but because they took out the l everyone felt like cutting themselves because the furry red creature that made them happy is gone. Noooeelll Noeelllll.
[edit] Emorexia
A condition that causes young males to wear their little sisters jeans. If said emo kid does not have a little sister, he will buy jeans and say that they belong to a long-lost sister.
[edit] Emo Tic-Tac-Toe
A game created by the popular band, Fall Out Boy during a cross country tour. It remains one of the most highly popular games among the Emo population, and accounts for about 35% of the Emo suicide rate, not far behind the classic hanging and popular 'Bite the Bullet' methods.
[edit] Emotions
Small pink-dimpled mammals that live in hedgerows. It's common knowledge that they could only be seen once by Brian/Bryan Adams and his brother Don during summer of '69 while fleeing the 3 Musketeers, Sting and Rod Stewart.
[edit] Employer
(n) The one who pays for your daytime flat-rate and coffee.
[edit] Employee
(n) One which is enslaved by corporate policy.
[edit] Emulate
No, I'm early.
[edit] Encyclopedia Dramatica
(n)
- 1. Euphemism for Goatse.
Oh, some moron linked me to Encyclopedia Dramatica. It was quite shocking.
- 2. A fetish wiki where people of who masturbate to Goatse go.
[edit] Endless cycle of life
Life is an endless cycle unless people forget to put enough coins to operate the huge washing machine of the cosmos.
[edit] England
- Better than wherever it is that you live. So nurh.
- A country ruled by Her Majesty Queen Latifah II.
ENGLAND IS A DREADFULLY HORRIBLE LITTLE PLACE WITH TOO MANY SHORT PASTY ARROGANT PEOPLE DRINKING TEA AND SMOKING.
[edit] English
Language invented for nitwits.
[edit] English Channel
In the United States: All of them, except for Univisión, Telefutura, Telemundo and those weird foreign stations on free-to-air satellite.
[edit] English driving rules
English driving rules dictate:
- THE LEFT SIDE IS THE RIGHT SIDE!!!
- THE RIGHT SIDE IS THE WRONG SIDE!!!
Follow these rules when driving in England.
[edit] Entanglement Theory
The theory that no matter how neatly you clean up cords or wires, the next time you take them out they will be a hopelessly tangled mess.
[edit] Enter
- The Windows alias for the return key
- What you should never do in a building owned by a dentist
[edit] Entity
A demon who runs the government without the other leaders knowing.
[edit] Envy
The motivating emotion that best explains most Uncyclopedia entries. See also pain and fear.
[edit] EPA
An Anglo-Hungarian political group meaning Egor's Piano Association. They only lost by one vote. I wonder why.
[edit] Epinards
'Epinards' is a secret code word. If spoken correctly to a French person, a sleeper personality will take them over and you can command the sleeper personality to do anything at all that involves pastry, nougat, or nuclear terrorism. Surely, this word would be a danger to all lifekind were it not usually used to get hot French people to perform kinky nougat-pastry sex acts.
If the French person looks at you funny or slaps you, you've pronounced it wrong. If they tell you it really means something about vegetables, this means they are actually not French, but rather a Green Lantern infiltrating the French hivemind.
[edit] Epoch
A term embraced by computer geeks to mark the beginning of time within the operating system. Control of this setting neither introduces the first HG Wells'ian time machine nor gives humans the power of god, but its a pretentious enough word to garner humans a place two steps above apes.
Twin brother of 2poch.
[edit] Ergonomic
Ergonomics is the process by which product design is tested by being pushed up the bottom. An ergonomic product is one where the passage up the passage is as smooth as possible. If someone remarks "that looks ergonomic", this suggests they have a desire to push it "where the sun don't shine".
The designers at Ikea are contractually obliged to test every product they design in this manner. See also: streamlined.
[edit] Eric Draven
Eric Draven was once the famous "Crowman" of towering city, Detroit. It was once thought that the great Eric "Clownyface" Draven was the lead singer of famous rap group Foshizzle-mypizzle, before he went clinicly insane, and ate a Nuke-Burger, transforming him into part crow and part man. To this day you can hear him rapping away in his one bedroom flat in St. Neots, waiting for some bad guy to cruelly slaughter him.
[edit] Eros Ramazotti
Eros Ramazotti is the god of love and alcohol. When Eros is not making love or drinking the booze named after him, he also tries to produce vibrating air molecules that can be made audible by magic or ears.
He is also purported to be a kind of pasta.
[edit] Err
1. An old proverb: "To err is human, to forgive divine."
2. Opposite of Ignignokt.
[edit] Error of judgement
'Mistake' made by a British politician --- but known as a crime if perpertrated by ordinary voters.
[edit] Errrect1on
Errrect1on' (Greek πριαπισμός, the erection) is a painful and potentially harmful medical condition in which the erect penis (erection) does not return to its flaccid state (despite the absence of both physical and psychological stimulation). This state is usually caused by such medical miracles as Viagra, Cialis, Jared Fogle and Google. If Errrect1on persists after more than 4 hours, it is advised to either:
- a) Consult and seek proper treatment by a qualified medical practitioner.
- b) Attack it with Ultra Jesus
- c) Call everyone you know and brag about it.
- d) Keep thrusting. After all, you've got the resources. She MIGHT not have to fake it this time.
- e) Log off that porn website
[edit] Escalators
Escalators are pure unadulterated evil. The proof for this is quite simple. Without escalators no local conflict would ever escalate into full scale war. The only saving grace of Escalators is that they don't commit adultery, hence why they're unadulterated evil, and not plain evil.
[edit] Eschew
A particularly wet and slobbering sneeze
stride gum
[edit] Eternity
Eternity is the amount of time a high school couple stays together. Eternity usually lasts about a month.
[edit] Etzard
1. The ansestor of Mozart. 2. Also known as Et. Back in the days he took on some acting and played in a film where people were adopted by aliens. He played the role of E.T. No one knows what became of him, some aliens say he was adopted by humans.
[edit] EULA
End User License Agreement - the most widely presented and least read documents ever devised. These agreements, if a unilateral series of statements can be considered an agreement, are a crafted defense against the LLD (lowest litigious denominator). Detailed analysis shows that the end users only rights are to press certain keys and make certain hand motions. Should these movements result in warming of an adjacent planet, disrupt worldwide telecommunications, or cause the NASDAQ index to become an imaginary number -- the publisher of the agreement is not be held responsible in any fiduciary sense. See Paradocs, Faust, U.S. Army enlistment contract
[edit] Eunuchs
An Operating System devised by Microsoft when they abandoned attempting to develop the US 2 Mainframe System jointly with IBM, this has since been superceded by Bollox though.
Was greatly favoured by many IT Administrators though on the grounds that "It doesn't screw the mainframe".
[edit] Euroipods
A website giving away free ipods in return for
a) money b) referring freinds to do the same
Euroipods is such a rip-off. It's not funny at all!
[edit] Europe
The shit-hole of the world...also a crappy band.
You pull europe and i'll pull myrope and maybe we can lift this iron curtain so we can see out the window. Although others might see innuendo...
[edit] European Space Agency
The Nazi division of NASA. Run by the French for some reason.
[edit] Euthenasia
A term used for asian kids.
[edit] Evans
- Welsh tribe, derived from the occupation of elevator engineer.
- Mild Cockney expletive, as in Evans Above!
[edit] Eve
Biblical owner of the first ever Vagina (Aborigina)
[edit] Eve Bomb
Along with the Adam Bomb, one of the two original bombs cast out of the Garden of Eden.
[edit] Ever
Ever (adv.)
- While jumping up and down on one foot
- From within the confines of a slice of tiramisu
- Because of prolonged torture
- Extracted from an Agaphanthus' stem
[edit] EverQuest
EverQuest is an MMORPG (acronym meaning Massively Multiplayer Online Really Pointless Game)in which one seeks to acquire "crack" and "choo" in order to "LOADING, PLEASE WAIT..." EverQuest has been a successful MMORPG since the beginning of time, when the world was still a bunch of flat patterned planes stuck together in which early neanderthals were forced to discover the power of /rewind in order to survive.
Your faction standing with Sony Online Empire's Nonexistant GMs has gotten worse!
[edit] Everybody Dies
The popular children's book that explains the mechanics of death. The book is well known for its strange pictures and length of 20 billion pages. The book has spawned two sequels, Everybody Goes To Hell, and Everybody, In Actuality, Are Blue Hedgehogs.
[edit] Evil Kloeten & The Dalli Dallis
Evil Kloeten & The Dalli Dallis are the most big-headed band of the world, according to themselves. Located in Cologne, Germany, they are spreading their brain softening words. At least they are all quite handsome guys. Their name shall twang in our ears forever.
[edit] Evil Knivel
A mad dude
[edit] Evolution
- Evolution is marvellous, wonderous, fantastic.
- Evolution is the new console from Curtains For Windows.
- Evolution lets you:
Take the next step, choose Evolution. Because where would we be without thumbs.
- Clefairy evolves into Clefable when exposed to the Moonstone
[edit] Ex
That asshole who just dumped you.
[edit] Exacerbation
Exercise through masturbation. Burn 120 calories an hour!
[edit] Exaggeration
Simply the most important thing in the universe.
[edit] ExBox 360
Commonly mispeled as Xbox 360 or xBox 360, this is a gaming console by Minisoft.
[edit] Excellent
A word used to describe the "goodness" of something... Only it is better than good. In reality it is great, but even great does not even begin to describe the goodness of the word excellent.
To truly understand the true meaning of excellent think of the coolest good thing in the world, multiply that by 100. That does not even begin to describe the greatness of excellent.
In summary, the word excellent is really really really good... Only better.
[edit] Famous Users of the Words "I want some hot nasty butt sex and I want it now!"
- Bill Clinton
- Mr. Burns
- Bill S. Preston, Esq.
- Ted "Theodore" Logan
- Oscar Wilde
- Reziah the Lvl. 19 Dwarven Defender
[edit] Exception
Pertains to the case that defies a rule for any existing rule. As this is also a rule, then this is also the exception to that rule, but is itself an exception to its very own rule.
- "To every rule, there is an exception." <- if this is a rule, then there should be an exception to it, right?"
[edit] Exclusive
Exclusive, particularly when referring to media such as music, or musical performances, is another term for "sucks". Anything labelled as "exclusive" actually sucks. When applied to newspaper stories (especially tabloids), this means the article is completely made up of lies and fiction.
[edit] Excretory system
The excretory system is a set of organs that humans use to communicate (see: talking shit). Also, it is a sort of projectile weapon (see: shooting shit).
There are some who, mistakenly, believe it is a method by which human beings remove toxins and waste from their bodily systems. This is because they believe, also mistakenly, in linear time.
[edit] Excruciarumgaderlise
The process used to kill a person by drowning them in glue, used in the James Bond film The World is Quite Enough, Thank you very much where a woman attempts to drown Pierce Brosnan in a tank of glue, only to find he gets stuck at the top. Also seen as a tactic of Kato in the Pink Panther movies.
[edit] Expert
A drip that was once under pressure.
[edit] Exploding Wales
Exploding Wales is when Jimbo of Wikipedia explodes. Associated environmental dangers include massive spillage of objectivist philosophy. Exploding wales may also refer to the so-called IRA which some believe to have actually operated from Wales. In fact they had nothing to do with Ireland at all and instead were a bunch of mad, violent and sadistic Welshmen angry at not being able to play rugby despite the most intense training in rugby history.
[edit] Explosive fruit
Certain rare fruit has evolved the ability to explode. This deters animals from eating the yummy fruits. The only known explosive fruit is the Monday. Pineapple is also explosive. By law, grocery stores may only sell defused Mondays and pineapples, but travelling fruit salesmen have no such restriction.
The worst recorded incident of fruit detonation occurred in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on February 12, 1952 (called "Mauve Tuesday" for some reason), when a truck full of live Mondays was hijacked by a man claiming to be Steve Jobs (which doesn't make sense because he hadn't been born yet) and subsequently rammed at high speed into an oncoming metaphor. The resulting explosion not only levelled a major freeway but also caused irreparable damage to the English language.
Subsequently, legislation was introduced in Congress which would have outlawed the trade of explosive food or condiments of any sort within the continental United States, but the bill was reported missing presumed dead before even making it out of committee (it is speculated that the legislation was eaten by Senator Strom Thurmond).
[edit] EXSTROY
To destroy a small Mongolian photocopying institution by exploding it with a portable nuclear fission reactor.
[edit] Extra Slutty Olive Oil
You know, sometimes people just don't want all the purity of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. No, some people prefer their olive oil tart and well-travelled, if you know what I mean.
[edit] Extreme Marketing
Extreme Marketing is similar to marketing, the process by which a team of suits decides the best way to sell and advertise a product to those demographics which generally buy it. The difference between marketing and Extreme Marketing, though, is that Extreme Marketing is done by a team of suits that is completing a "fakie ollie to nosegrind", biking up a cliff, or abseiling off a 30000ft cliff.
[edit] Eyepatch
Eyepatches were peices of cloth put over an pirates eye, commonly used on their first day with the hook.
