Undictionary:P

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Welcome to the Undictionary, an ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z *

[edit] P

The art of unzipping one's trousers and leaking the contents.

[edit] pete herd

1. man whore
2. druggie
3. chav
4. player
5. irresistaBLE
6. cripple<<my fault>>
7. cheat
8. is just not that into aisha tbh she should wake up and take her own advice :)

[edit] Pac (short for Tupac, 2Pac etc)

West coast rapper who shoots cop's, drive's in drop tops 'n' probably doesn't wear flip flops. Got killed because of his love of cheetos.

[edit] Pac-Man

A very odd little yellow ball that can't ever seem to get enough pills. See also: (<). There, you saw it!

“He's my cheapest supplier.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pac-Man

[edit] Paddington Bear

A marmalade-loving grizzly that nearly destroyed middle-class London in the 1970s. See also: Paddington Blair.

[edit] Paedomorphosis

Sounds fucking clever doesn't it?

[edit] Pain in the Arse

Pronunciation

Proper medical term for prison buggery. Any other type of buggery is just buggery.

[edit] Pandemonium

Musical instrument similar to an harmonium but constructed entirely from pandas

[edit] Panini

Panini is an Egyptian dish that first appeared on Earth shortly after the birth of Christ. It is a delectable blend of goat intestines and urine, hailed as a supreme dish fit for kings. Most commoners do not enjoy this wealth.

[edit] Pants

Pants are an article of clothing first invented in Europe in the late 20th century. Typically worn on the wrists, pants are considered haute-couture in most civilized nations of the world, and are absolutely mandatory for men attending diplomatic functions.

[edit] Paper

“Whenever I buy notebook paper, I'm reminded that college ruled. So did being fat.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Paper

Paper is a MS Word-based substance that people make marks on. The ancient Mexicans invented this in the year 3.14 B.C. For some reason, they thought that pounding trees for days on end so that other people could make black lines on it was a pretty neat idea. (Although honestly, the colour of the lines don't matter all that much). Today, paper companies are more advanced than ever, making upwards of two sheets of paper per forest.

However, many are abandoning paper for the far more popular McDonalds food containers, because they are so much easier to get your hands on.

[edit] Papyrus

A traditional form of bread that originated in Botswana. Great with soup made from the kisses of angry darlings. It has a coarse consistency, like the tongues of adolescent Scallys, but it is very nutritious, stays fresh for months when wrapped in leaves, and is used for sustenance on long journeys.

A theory amongst religious fanatics exist stating that papyrus was used in ancient egypt for paper. This theory is, of course completely ridiculous. Why would ancient people write on bread?

[edit] Paradise

Two polyhedra (traditionally cubic), marked with numbers on edges or faces. When thrown, the upwards faces determine the outcome of battles between nerds. Also used in games of chance such as presidential elections, selecting airline passengers for strip searching and by God when determining the outcome of quantum measurements.

[edit] Paradocs

Any document which appears to be excessively long for its purported use. Examples include Form 1040, safety warnings for wall clocks, health insurance policies, Congressional legislation, and EULA.

[edit] Paradox

1. A cheap branded pharmacutical product more inclined to give you a headache than cure one.
2. What happens when you try to be productive and enjoy your job at the same time.
3. Two doctors mucking about with time.
4. A term meaning two wharves.

[edit] Paragliding

Hanggliding for disabled people.

[edit] Paramountaneously

To be of paramount. Now you may not think this too funny, but apparently my word wasnt GOOD enough for the dictionary.

[edit] Paranoid

Paranoid people are the most laid-back on the planet. They often cite Murphey's Law, saying that nothing bad can happen whilst Murphey is preventing crime.

Alternative meaning: Disabled Noids

[edit] Paris

Paris is the main actress of the oscar-nominated movie "One night in beirut". The movie shows the story of a young girl who wants to learn how to make homemade bombs but she's cheated by her boyfriend. He publishes her evil plans on the internet and now every man in the world knows "her" little secrets.

Alternate Meaning: Country which makes stinky cheese.

Paris is a city often mistaken to be the capital of France. It actually isn't, the capital of France is F.

[edit] Park

1. A place where Soviet Super Secret Spies do business.
2. Alternate Meaning: A Korean person

[edit] Parliament

An English parlor game, similar to Fizbin but without the cards.

[edit] Parthenon

A phenomenon in which a discerable line appears in hair combed in two different directions. Normally this line appears on the top of the head; however, in some fat, middle-aged bald men (and occasionally women), the lines can be found near the ear or just above the nape of the neck.

[edit] Parthenogenesis

The act of creating a Parthenon. This is generally accomplished with a comb and a gob of hair gel, or spit.

[edit] Partay

the event that comes before part-B.

[edit] Past tense

The physical state of having been stiff, overwrought and unable to relax at a time prior to the present.

[edit] Patience

Axl Rose said all we need is just a little of it, but he was not referring to Chinese Democracy. That's never going to happen.

A person who is able to live with other human beings and not go completely insane is said to have great patience. Also used ironically of doctors - not because of the pun on the word "patients," but because Western doctors are notoriously ill-tempered and are known to fly into a rage, quite literally, at the drop of a hat.

"Patience is... are you getting this down? It doesn't look like you're writing. I didn't hire you to dawdle, I hired you to take dictation. Patience... you're not writing! I'm looking right at you, and you're not writing this down!" - Oscar Wilde

Patience is the formal medical term given to the condition afflicting parents whose child (aged 47) has not left the home yet . . . although there are treatments available such as "Arrest" (see "Framing") and "Supplied Girlfriend" (see "Prostitute", 4th meaning), there is usually no cure after the victims reach 80 years of age . . . they are simply too weak to smother him/her!

[edit] Patradementright

Onerous legal trifecta first used in Ancient Rome by Emperor Hadrian to keep those damn kids off his lawn, knowledge of this ancient rite was lost for centuries before being redeveloped and refined for use by Gracenote who then applied it immediately to breathing.

A patradementright consists of three parts: a patent, a copyright, and a trademark, all of which are applied to the item(s) in question in the most cynical (but profitable) lawyer game ever.

[edit] Pawaar

1. A being of supreme power and intelligence, set on par at 'Jesus' level. Also known to be a ninja, and can speak rough Spanish.

2. An expression of 'Having The Power', just spelt like it should be.

[edit] Paypal

It is typically used by gangsters and thieves who want your money. It is believed once that it used to be called 'PayupPal' but they quickly realized that Paypal is less threatening once they have unsuspecting users by the scruff of the neck and forced to use the service.

Ebay recently purchased the "PayPal" company in a desperate attempt to recoup money from the criminals who list items & collect the money via "PayPal" without sending the product in return. The way this works is Ebay can now also collect fee's from the money being sent to the criminals which calculates up to over $10 Million a year. This gives the criminals a way of collecting the money without having to risk getting caught: as long as Ebay makes money from fee's, the criminal is safe from investigation.

[edit] P.D.A.

P.D.A. or Perfect Day Award. Its awarded by the H.C.S.A. (High court of supreme awesomeness) who judge whether or not you have had a perfect day or just an excellent day. There is only one other known person who has a perfect day: sadly no one knows who it is or where they are. People speculate that this person is so perfect that upon basking in their perfection we will all break down where we are curl up into a foetal position and start sucking our thumbs.

[edit] Peal

“mmmmm....soft and tender”

~ Oscar Wilde on Peal

Peal is also more commonly known as people veal, it was discovered one day when a hungry adventurer remembered he had a small orphaned child in a cage, and thought hmmm this tastes kinda like veal, and thus peal was born

[edit] Pear

Not this Pear.

[edit] Pelvic thrust

Pelvic Thrust (n); a skill needed in order for many small woodland mammals, and some species of slug, to reproduce. The pelvic thrust only works if you have the tackle, but it can be performed in many positions.

Alternate meanings:

• A type of dance; people perform the dance by thrusting their pelvis, and middle school children think it is funny when one of them pelvic thrusts someone. The pelvic thrust has been used, most notably, by Tom Jones, Duff Man, Duckman, and Black Adder rival Lord Flashheart.

• The Pelvic Thrust is also an essential part of bending space time and warping to Transexual in the Transylvanian Star System. According to the Transylvanians, "It's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane."

[edit] Pedantry

I think I recall someone possibly saying this was a corruption of 'Pesantry' being those that frittered their time away discussing things instead of working. (No connection has been established to frittery.)

[edit] Pedometer

A small device used by Pedophiles to calculate how many unsuspecting victims are in the vicinity while jogging near schools & day care centre's. The pedometer works much like a digital multimeter, although it is calibrated in the rare unit of "Jack-o's".

[edit] Penalise

The stare Hannibal Lechter fixes you with.

[edit] Pencil

A pencil is a long wooden stick with a sharp point and a soft end used for sexual pleasures by your mom and others who cannot get laid. Also see: Cucumber.

[edit] Penguin

Being the only fish that can fly, Penguins all look exactly the same because they are produced at a clone factory in North Korea.

Penguins were created by Peter André, with the sole purpose of amusing the human race. There is an ongoing feud between Penguins and snow kittens as to who is the legal owner of Finland. This feud has resulted in many violent, bloody clashes, such as world war one.

Penguin - also used for the most intelligent beings in the universe, cleverly disguised as residents of Antarctica, known to have a penchant for fish.

See also: Batman

[edit] Penguiti

Tropical Paradise notable for its famed nightlife. The superclub Last Tango is visited by heavysetjetters from around the world. Also notable for a visit by the mutineers of the HMS Stooge, when all 6 of the 3 stooges left with Penguitian brides on their way to Nukayukavuk.

[edit] Penis

The most commonly used weapon by Batman during his war against Dr. Benton Quest. Few know much about it.

The other root of all evil.

A weapon used by the government that shoots stuff in there eyes...

Smallest amount of UK currency.

Incorrect spelling of 'Pens'

The "Pen 15 club" is often mistaken for this.

Often used by make-up artists to make people all white in the face.

[edit] Penis pants

It is a pants that looks like a penis.

[edit] Pennyless

The word given to the pricing fad where everything must cost something and 99p. Instead of charging a nice round £5 they made it a "Pennyless" and charge £4.99 thus ensuring you always have 47p in pennies at anyone time.

[edit] Pens

Incorrect spelling of 'Penis'

[edit] Pensive

Thinking about pens a lot.

[edit] Pentagon

A polygon with five sides. Or occasinally six, depending on three things, the alcohol level in the viewers blood, the colour of the pentagon and nothing else.

Pentagon, The: The headquarters for the Department of War in the United States located in Washington DC. Originally it was going to be the Rhombicuboctahedron that Pharoah Alex Trebek built, but that structure was razed by the agents of Oprah, namely Hugo Weaving and Junichiro Koizumi. Thus, the War Headquarters was just a giant pentagon.

[edit] Pentium

Stupid made up word that some geek thinks sounds impressive. See also shallow.

[edit] People of Earth

A species of semi-evolved monkeys who are so amazingly dumb that they still think Entertainment News is actually entertaining.

Oh, and wars. They're totally cool with wars... and fighting over who's Invisible-Man-in-the-Sky is better.

[edit] Pepperoni

Pepperoni is meat made from the Pepperon, a rare animal (and getting rarer) found in the North of Italy. It gets sliced into thin pieces, cooked by crazed Italians and exported all over the world to pizza restaurants, where they put it on pizzas if people ask for it, and feed it to the anchovies if nobody wants pepperoni. It is often used for love making and boardgames.

[edit] Pepsi

It will bring your ancestors back from the grave.

[edit] Pepto-Bismol

A decongestant made from the blood of Jesus Christ, commonly used in place of barbecue sauce. When consumed as a suppository, it will give super human strength to anything not human.

Used as a biological weapon by the CIA against stupid people. Symptoms before death include black tongue and rock hard stools.

[edit] Perfect

If you are perfect, you are stupid, ignorant, and annoying. Also See Perfect Kirby

[edit] Perpetual motion machine

A Perpetual motion machine is a machine that's always moving. Invented by some scientist or other who forgot to nail it to the floor and lost it as soon as he put it down. It is currently believed to be stalking picnickers in the Canadian Rockies, and authorities believe that it has "crazy legs."

[edit] Period

An interval of time characterized by the occurrence of a certain condition, event, or phenomenon, such as an intense craving for chocolate, pickles and sanitary pads.

[edit] Peroxide

A neuron-synapse astringent applied to the hair.

[edit] Person

person (purr-sin)

n.

1. MacGyver
2. A human. Duh.
3. A way of talking about someone without knowing their name. ("Did you see that person over there?")
4. NOT Tom Cruise. He is, in fact, an alien. (Model 7272)
5. NOT Elvis Presley. He is also an alien. HE IS NOT DEAD contrary to common belief.
6. DEFINITELY not you.

(plural: persons, people; see also: Guy, Dude, Girl, Them)

[edit] Pervert

1)One who has sex. More precisely, one who has more sex than you do, has more fun at it than you do or does it in ways that you do not consider erotic, or even possible. Just get over it, perverts have more fun than you do. Unless you're a pervert yourself, in which case I would like to kick you in your balls (unless you're a woman or a masochist that is).

2)One whom looks for the word "pervert" on undictionary

[edit] PETA

A popular North American terrorist organization. Feel free to kill anyone associated with this group as all known members have no soul, it's guranteed!

[edit] Peter-pun

Any joke or comment said that is intended to be funny but turns out as just corny or otherwise not-witty. Peter-puns often times are attempts at playing off of homonyms and pronunciation of words. Ex. "Orange you glad to see me?"

[edit] Petulent

Small borrowed animal kept for companionship or for sexual purposes.

[edit] Pez

n. A chalk-flavored fruit grown mostly for its slightly better-tasting "dispenser" casing. "pee" in Norwegian.

[edit] PhD

Permanent head Damage

[edit] Phenomenoff

Events which should occur following another particular event, but for whatever reason, don't.

[edit] Philosopher

Philosopher - the name given to under-achieving, spoilt, post-graduate arts students that have all the questions but non of the answers, the most famous of all being Plato who spent the majority of his life out of his head on opium and wine. Most Modernday philosiphers main aim in life is to follow Plato's example and die at the age of 25 in a pool of their own vomit. However this is not usually the case and they spend the rest of their lives working in Waterstones surrounded by the very books that caused them to have the mundane lives they regret.

[edit] Philosophy

1. The attempt to answer the ancient question: if a tree falls in the forest with nobody around, does anyone give a crap?
2. Once the domain of intellectual inquiry, now the hapless realm of the self-evident.

Etymologically, "philosophy" means "love of wisdom"; but this is one of those cases where etymology contributes nothing to the contemporary understanding of a word. In the medieval period, philosophy was hailed as "the handmaiden of theology"; not content with that appellation, she has consented to become, in the modern period, the whore of science.

[edit] Philanthropy

The study of people named Phil.

[edit] Philanthropist

A misanthrope with disposable income.

[edit] Phone Book

The Phone Book by Cosmo Kramer. It's a complete book about telephones, featuring the history of the phone, celebrity phones, and it even carries a cellular phone built-in.

[edit] Phone Giant

Really really really big telephone handsets. These are especially useful for persons suffering from Phat Phinger Disphoriah.

The use and production of the Phone Giant has seen a rollercoaster ride of patent lawsuits, mainly from Fatso's Dialing Wand Co. Who claim the Phone Giant is a direct attempt to monopolize the fat fingered phone market, and to render their product superfluous.

Backlash has caused the original providers of Phone Giant to re-re-re-re-release their product under different monikers, including; Giant Phone, Big Phone, and Phone-duty Administering Telecommunications Assessment Specialized Service, aptly shortened to PHATASS.

[edit] Phonetic

1. Isn't it hilarious that the word "phonetic" isn't phonetic?
2. Frantic use of a telephone

[edit] Phonetically

Fonetiklee.

Or, in the vastly superior pronunciation rules of Loglan, Fyunetekli.

[edit] Phonk Beta

The act of taking a shit.

[edit] Phonk Lamodeeay

The act of taking a shit behind a Sunoco gas station then wiping your ass with a old ass sweater.

[edit] Physician

A cross between a physicist and a musician.

[edit] Pi

1. One of several mathematical constants that are utilized by confused trigonometry students when calculated answers just don't seem quite right.
2. A Greek letter that may signify a variety of sugar-containing materials, including cherries, apples, chocolate, bananas, etc.
3. A private investigator, i.e. one aspiring to be Sherlock Holmes but who is still only apt to be Watson.
4. Exactly 2/3 of a pie.
5. pee

[edit] Piece of Crap

Slang term to discribe human waste, inappropriote or useless objects, or the Microsoft Windows operating system, and Norton Antivirus.

[edit] Piece of String

As in how long is a piece of string. A piece of string is 27.35cm long. Shorter than that and it is officially a bit of string, and longer than 27.35cm it is a length of string.

[edit] Pielon

Someone who speaks pie (language). There are only 37 in existance.

[edit] Piegon

Any shape whose sides are composed entirely of pies.

[edit] Pigeonhole Principle

A concept developed by Nazi computer scientists who, as computers had yet to be invented, spent most of their time shooting carrier pigeons. The principle states that if you have M number of pigeons and fired M+1 number of shots, then at least one pigeon must have two or more holes.

[edit] Piggybacking

The illegal act of holding the door for the person behind you at the most efficient and polite high school in the tri-town region. Punishable by flogging, branding, draw-and-quatering, and, in extreme cases, Saturday detention.

[edit] Pilates

• Flat receptacles for temporary food placement while eating.
• Scientific terminology for a mound or heap of Pirates
• Spanish drug store chain.
• An excuse to try to get a date or just to see people in abnormal positions and/or bending over

[edit] Pillaging

The process of killing and maiming people you don't know in order to steal the contents of their house in such a way that insurance won't cover it. Indeed it is the work of a truly evil genius.

[edit] Pimp

“Where's my money b!&*# ?! Oh hi mum..”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pimp

1. Pimp is a short name for Political Imps. In order to get more votes they send in ringers or "Hookers" which entice a patron to vote for a particular candidate. The hookers employ various tactics to ensure that the patron not only votes a certain way but pays for the honour of doing so. The practice, while widely used, is considered illegal.
2. A cultural group including approximately 42% of caucasian males between the ages of 10 and 14.
3. P I M P also stands for Party In My Pants, meaning, you feel good and/or are having a party.

[edit] Pimple

A small or undersized pimp. This may be due to young age or dwarfism.

[edit] Piracy

• The act of distributing software, music, or movies created by Pirates.
• A disease in which the infected person believes they are being consumed by fire.

[edit] Pish

See fish, piss or pies. It could be any one of these things. What the hell do you think we are, mind-readers?

[edit] Piss

• Domestic beer, but especially American beer. If you can call it beer.
• A possible final product of sexual intercourse. More watery than semen.
• Sound made with the female lips. Uttered by a woman when you try to discuss kitten huffing or Darth Vader.
• Universal sweat bee attractor.
• AKA taking the piss.
• Making someone real mad or irritated for the enjoyment of yourself to laugh at them (Piss off)

[edit] Pissed off

(Adj.) Refers to an individual that presents a behavioural disorder known as Asperger's Syndrome characterised by peeing outside the urinal or toilet -; also, emotional state after said event occurs.

Occurrence: Genetical in nature, nine out of ten women are known to suffer this disorder; its occurrence among men is very rare with just a few historical cases documented.

[edit] Pistol-Whip

Where one eats ice-cream using a hand gun, like a revolver.

The friendly alternative to Cool-Whip

[edit] Pizza Fungi

“My ass-twin is Mark Twain. Give him a read, and a slap for me!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pizza Fungi

Pizza fungus is not a fungus at all but actually a rare form of political party that's main strategy for election/world domination is laying about and not getting eaten by passing Republicans or New Christian Democrats.

[edit] Placebo

Where ancient archers hung their bow strings, they are often given by Brian Molko for medical treatment.

See also: Placebo Domingo

[edit] Plagiarist

1. Someone who copies other people's work
2. Someone who copies other people's work
3. Someone who copies other people's work

[edit] Planeadoras

A small, fibre boat used to transport the fardos of cocaine from a big ship in the sea to Villagarcia de Arosa, Vigo and other important south galician harbours. These boats are wicked fast. Their main, off-board engine, is limited to around 15 HP by strict laws, but as no laws regulate the supplementary engines, two 250HP supplementary engines are found off-board to the left and right of the main one, shall it ever stops working.

[edit] Plankie

A fan of planking (sexual relations with a tree, shrub, flower or lower plant species)

[edit] Plaster

1a. Noun. A small, but durable and hypoallergenically fexible single use piece of fabric or plastic, used for protecting the walls of buildings from damp and dry rot. If the rot does not appear to heal or the damp continues, seek medical advice.

1b. Noun. A thick, white coloured, paste-like substance originating from Paris, used for applying liberally onto various flesh wounds, or occasionally onto uninjured bodily parts. Should be left for up to 48 hours to solidify completely, whereupon injury should be no longer felt, and the affected limb will be no longer present.

2. Verb. As in to plaster, to be plastering or to become plastered, with the application of plasters. For example, "Simon was completely plastered last night after he had finished plastering his left leg."

[edit] Plate

A plate is an object commonly used as a trigger for floor panels in a dungeon. Plates are used to spring traps from the ceiling, floors, and shoulder pads. Unwittingly, this is the major cause of death for most adventurers under the age of eighteen. Interestingly enough, if you swap the weight on a plate very quickly, it will not set off.

[edit] Platform

Platform is a pejorative term referring to people who live in perpendicular buildings with flat surfaces, derived from "perpendicular" + "flat" + "lifeform." The term extends all the way back to the 18th Century; the first person to be called a "platform" was George III of the United Kingdom. On the back of the Declaration of Independence released on July 4, 1776, Thomas Jefferson secretly scribbled a note in glow-in-the-dark ink declaring that "King George is a platform," referring to the fact that the monarch famously lived in a perpendicular castle that was mostly flat. With the advent of apartments in later centuries, it would be expanded upon in British English to refer to people living in perpendicular flats.

[edit] Play

1. Noun

A Play is an event where audience members strip down to their underwear or, at the really swinging plays, all the way down to the buff, while trained gerbils and penguins perform aerobatics and attempt to light each another on fire. It is quite common for things to get out of hand, especially when the non-heterosexual crowd starts grabbing for the gerbil performers.

2. Verb

To vigorously stroke ones equipment while participating in computerised simulations. No, we are not talking about stereo equipment. No, not medical equipment. Ok, fine, be daft, we mean your meat and two bits, your wedding tackle, your own personal joystick. Do we really need to spell it out?

[edit] Pleb

Someone's foot in a sandal.

[edit] Plonter (פךםמאקר)

A tangle of anything long and thin. Should not be confused with planter, which is a horticulturally related maching that hasn't been invented yet and will be of great use to gardeners. Note: to pronounce this word, yell at someone for ten hours on end and then try to purr.

[edit] Plurii

Multiple plural.

[edit] PMS

A PMS, or Particulate Matter Spreader,or mad cow disease is a long handled raking device used to spread fear and discontent among the indigenous tribes of third world countries. First discovered in a sleazy disco in Dublin by prominent physicist Albert "Spunky" Woodchucker, the use of PMS has become fairly widespread as the weapon of choice for most warmongering nations. This, in turn, really pisses women off, bringing about stints of hormone induced rage (often referred to as PMS Syndrome).

[edit] Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconeosis

1. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconeosis is like exploding violently, but with more purple. It is often confused with Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but that's dumb and is a symptom of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconeitis, ironically enough.

2. Fuck knows.

3. A pointless use of too many letters for an illness cause by breathing in quartz dust --217.44.141.55 19:06, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

4. Longest word in the english language (45 freakin' letters!) although it doesn't count as it's a medical word (whatever) --217.44.141.55 19:06, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Poctar

Noun: 1) A little know form of untergalacitc space currencly. Example: I bet you eleventy poctars you can't kill the Grue. 2) A betterknown untergalactic word for butthole, asshole, sphincter, brown eye. Example: My poctar is killing me!

Adjective: 1) Attributing the properties of a butthole to a person. Example: That girl is a poctar. I feel like Poctar tonight!

Verb: No known definition. It's just fun to conjugate.

• Pocto
• Pactas
• Pacta
• Pactamos
• Pactis
• Pactan

[edit] Poetry

A try to write like Edgar Allan Poe, for instance: "The Shining contained Stephen King's best poetry".

[edit] Pointillism

The art of creating "join the dots" puzzles.

Actually joining the dots is called circumlocution - especially if adding little flourishes and curlicues.

[edit] Pointless

Without a direction, or compass. Utterly useless, so no . in reading this.

Can also refer to a circumcised male.

2: Wikipedia.

[edit] Pokémon

1. Fictional creatures that are captured and put into slavery by Pokémon Trainers.
2. A language spoken by fictional creatures called Pokémon in which their own species' name is growled, screeched, roared, yelled, sqeaked, shouted, or belowed. ie. "Pikachu!" translates to yes. "Pikachu!" translates to no. "Pikachu?" translates to "what the fuck are you talking about?"
3. A Jamaican proctologist.
4. A combo of 3 words: poke, 'em, on. What it means is that Pikachu likes when you continue poking him...

[edit] Pokémon Trainers

Mass enslavers of small, harmless creatures, Pokémon Trainers manipulate these creatures to enter violent situations that will eventually send them into short comas. Then they make the creatures evolve, which forces them to change forms and become outsiders, freaks, and goths, (not the cool kind of goths), who no longer speak their native language. The human shape pokemon are even made to be sex slaves. However, there are a few pokemon that are known to have escaped from their trainers. the most famous of these is Queefatung (the trainer, ash's, nickname for his lickitung), who used its tongue to rape its trainer into submission, and then fled in officer jenny's car. Queefatung was able to escape quickly because no one is ever on the road in Pokemon land, and Ash was too busy forcing pikachu to battle even though he sucks and never trains or formulates any type of strategy whatsoever. he also causes mental retardation to anyone he comes in contact with.

[edit] Polar Coordinates

Small creatures, not unlike the common flea, which graze upon icy regions, usualy inside the arctic or anarctic circles. Polar Coordinates are quite hard to trace, as they are so small some scientists describe them as a singualarity. Polar Coordinates differ from Rectangualar Coordinates found on other non-spherical planets.

[edit] Pole

The masculine term for a Polish man. The feminine form is thus split-Pole.

[edit] Polite Bureau

A brief part of Stalin's Russia. It was part of the 5 Year Plan to make Russia fuzzier, warmer, and an altogether super place to live. The entire bureau was exiled to Nazi Germany and died in Dachau in 1943.

[edit] Politically correct

1. An insult, implying a person's inability to accept humour, popularly used amongst niggers.
2. The hilariously incorrect names the government makes up for Stubs, Spics, Wasps, Injuns, Gringos, Japs, and a bunch of other fucktards.
3. A preferred term for a people or occupation, until you decide it's stupid.
4. A shared language between people from drastically different backgrounds, which allows them to communicate in a harmonious way, bringing a zen-like quality to their interpersonal interactions.
5. Ah, who am I kidding? Fuck Political Correctness, it's a bunch of liberal bullshit anyway.

(What ever happened to simple tact? Be nice, I like being progressive.)

[edit] Political will

See "Won't"

[edit] Politician

While having many alternative definitions, it is commonly accepted that the word "politician" derives from Greek roots: "Poli", meaning many; "tic", meaning tick, and "ician" meaning "man of ice". Thus, "politician" originally meant an "Ice man of many ticks".

1. It is also a general term used to describe those slimey piles of turd people stand in from time to time, particularly those which are sticky, hard to get rid of, and leave an unpleasant taste in your mouth. The word "politician" can be used in any context in which you would normally use the word shit. For example, if you defecated on the carpet like an animal, you might say, "Oops, I've done a politician," or if your animal was to defecate all over someone else's carpet you might apologise by saying, "Sorry about the pile of steaming politicians my dog just dumped on your carpet." If you're served terrible food in a restaurant you might say, "This yogurt tastes like a trough full of congealed politicians."
2. A politician is a species of slippery scumsucking eel notorious for accosting babies.
3. A politician is a receptacle for human souls devised by Satan.
4. Politician is an ice cream flavour famed for its bitterness and containing high levels of sleaze. People eating politician ice cream often experience the uncontrollable urge to rush out and shag a donkey in a crack den.
5. Politician is the act of pissing on someone's grave whilst laughing at their orphaned children.
6. "Politician" is an archaic word meaning "he who dedicates his life to masturbation."
7. "Politician" is the title of the first chapter of the book, 101 Ways to Rape a Pig.
8. Politicians are also the small, irritating, inflamed lumps often found on one's face, more commonly referred to as acne.
9. Politicians are not very popular.
10. "Politician" is another word for the viscous white substance that gathers at the sides of one's mouth during prolonged speeches about poo.
11. Politicians are immortal as The Afterlife requires a personality to get in.
12. Politician: The ability to say one thing and mean another as in "You expect me to believe that? What do you think you are....a politician?"

[edit] Polly

Polly is a substance created from a parrot (also known as pollium, but for reasons unknown it has never been added to the Idiotic Table of the Elements), originally used to destroy large amounts of China, or would have been if it really existed. recently it was used to create small trouser-pockets named Polly Pockets. It has also lead to new verbs in the english dictionary such as: pollily (adv.), meaning doing somthing like a Polly. For example: he walked down the road pollily. It has also been discovered that many Pollies have spontaneously grown enormous Breasts, which many scientists find very interesting and like to play with.

[edit] Polynesia

The act of forgetting where you left your parrot

[edit] Polyurethane

Polyurethane is a space-age material which combines the properties of polystyrene and urine.

[edit] Poodle

Aggregation of water, often on roads and pavements. See: 'Raining cats and dogs'.

[edit] Poodleicious

When you wear clothing with poodles on it and you look fabulous, kinda like Fran Drescher looked on the Nanny, you are said to be "Poodleicious"!

[edit] Pool table

A pool table is a table filled with water, and is large enough for you and your sasquatch to swim in.

[edit] Poon

An ideal way to eat Poonani (see Poonani).

[edit] Poon Tang

A dessert served by women from the South. Tang made by a foxy young lady. See Tang[[1]]

[edit] Poon train

The Poon Train is a very cool way to travel. Many passengers enjoy coupling the cars, boarding the caboose, and releasing the steam valve when it is time to disembark.

Noted Poon Train riders: Avagadro (noted chemist), Colonel Sanders (noted chicken), President WIlliam Henry Harrison (pneumonia afficionado), That guy who hosts masterpiece theater, Thomas Malthus (noted economist), Bruce Campbell (noted actor and all-around badass).

One common point of confusion is the confusion of the Poon Train with the Poon Battleship and the Poon Geo Metro, which represent different levels and quality of poon.

[edit] Alphabetical

An order of... wait a second... The set sequence of letters in which order of placement one must adhere to. Also a type of soup used mainly in below-poverty-line countries such as America.

[edit] P.O.O.P.

The is an acronym for:

-Prematurely Oriented Oblong Plop. (see Shit)

-Parliament of Objectional Operational Procedures: A organization of people who believe in shoving food up your butt and crapping out your mouth is a healthy lifestyle.

-People Order Our Patties: A common phrase seen on the Krusty Krab training video. First used against some retard whos a retard to help him order food off of things that are considered to be food themselves.

[edit] Pop Culture Reference

The earliest known pop culture reference is to be found in the Dead Sea Scrolls. Koine Greek sections mention notorious ladies-Pharaoh Tutankhamen, said to be “digging tunnels like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape”. The refrain’s repetition seven times over five parchments (also the worlds earliest in-joke) is a classic of the "funny once..boring now..then funny(ish) again" humour of the time. Also popular at the time was the punch-line that nobody would get for two thousand years, but with dawning realisation that you better laugh anyway or you’ll look stupid in front of the Hebrew slaves.

Only in the last ten years has there been criticism of Quentin Tarantino for his use of the line in Reservoir Dogs. Some commentators charging that he doesn’t have an original idea in his head, instead stealing all his stories and dialogue from his time working as a clerk in a papyrus-rental store.

[edit] Pop Music

From 'popular music'. An important musical genre, encompassing music that people actually like to listen to, rather than feel they must listen to in order to appear cultured (see Classical music, Jazz). The term is also used in a derogatory manner by those who feel that pop has no artistic merit in its overuse of tired clichés, such as insistence of playing in key, to a recognizable rhythm (see Stockhausen)

e.g: Eminem

[edit] Pop-up windows

Pop-up windows are openings in an otherwise solid, opaque surface through which light can pass. The name "Pop-up" derives from the way they open - after a button is pressed, the window moves upwards with a "popping" sound.

[edit] Pope Buddha I

Pope Buddha I - who's actual name was in fact John Paul Second - lived and died in the first part of the XX century, but nobody seem to remember the poor bastard. As a matter of fact that's quite a pity as he was the one and only bastard who discovered the secret to turn Monkees into Beatles though nobody at the time could get what he meant.

[edit] Porgy and Bess

First known as Porky and Bess, or, in the original German, Der Ring des Nibelungen, is a series of four epic operas. Both the libretto and the music were written by Tiny Tim over the course of twenty-six years, from 1848 to 1874. A cover version by U-Boat appears on the B-side of "Sunday groggy sunday".

[edit] Pornograph

A Pornograph is a device used to measure and create pornography. As any attempt to measure the amount of pornography in the world is futile, it was thought to be purely theoretical until the late 1990's when Nerds invented the Internet.

[edit] Portmanteau

Portmanteau: the creation of a whitish black substance using only baked bread and half-striped blankets.

[edit] Postal

"Going postal" means to go on a crazy hulk rage. All postal workers are prone to go on a killing spree (instead of delivering mail to everyone, which is done by routers, they deliver a cap in yo' ass) at any second.

This is because their lives and their jobs are almost as bad as that of dentists.

[edit] Posthumous

Earth/compost which can no longer support viable plant growth

[edit] Postmarital wanking

It’s what married men are tempted to do when teh wives have teh prolonged headaches. It’s also what married women are tempted to do when their husbands haven’t given them enough sexual foreplay and they aren’t fully satisfied. Even devotedly religious people of both sexes can be tempted.

See also Premarital wanking

[edit] Pot

A Pot is a container and NOTHING more. Winston Churchill once said: "Pot enthusiasts make a big deal about pots being legal in Amsterdam, but I don't see why. As far as I know, pots are legal everywhere."

Some say, you are high.

Confucius say: "Man who stand on toilet, is high on pot."

[edit] Potato

A genre of poetry consisting of one line with forty-nine syllables, one line of eighty seven syllables, and five lines of eight syllables each.

[edit] Potfui

1. A pot of Fui.
2. The inane nonsense that comes from becoming high on pots
3. The inane nonsense that comes from being high on "illegal drugs" such as pots
4. The insane nonsense of weed addicts
5. A cheese grater

[edit] Pothead

A pothead is a person wearing a pot on his or her head. Was it that hard to figure out? Not related to Harry Pothead.

[edit] Pound

Pound may be:

"a pound" - noun

What the British call their dollars

Where the British send their misbehaving corgis

"To pound" - verb

To thoroughly beat the crap out of

To hit something that will make a loud noise (likely something hollow)

What I do to your mom regularly

"Pound" - adjective

Description of something circular applied by people who buy typefaces with cheap upper-case letters that bits fall off of.

[edit] Pounds per square inch

A measure of how fat someone is. It is totally awesome for figuring out fat-asses like...oh...say, Hippos.

[edit] "Pous"

N. A grey or green viscus liquid shot out of a pous cannon; Soup Adj. corrosive, acidic, stinging

The mighty Pous cannon is like Hormell chili and a super model. So many bugs and so little mouth wash.

[edit] Power chord

It is the first (and last) thing needed to perform almost any rock cover. It has indeed played a big role in the democratisation of Rock: If the Sex Pistols can do "that" everybody can become the King of Rock and Roll. Power chords are available at all good hardware stores, it also makes a very good belt for chumps.

[edit] Powermarch

A powermarch is a stylised walk created by inner-city marching bands in the early 1930's. Although it appears complicated, it is actually quite simple; so simple that it's really identical to regular marching. The only difference is that you must pretend it's special.

[edit] Powertool

A widely accepted substitute for the rechargable battery, the powertool has its origins in southern India and Disneyland. Though little is known about its chemical properties, ex-microsoft programmers and TV hosts suggest a relation to monkeypox bacteria. Modern applications of the powertool include palm reading, piano tuning, and playing rap music to get that annoyingly flabby bass sound. It has also been proven that girls between the ages of 12-17 use the powertool for extended use of the hair dryer and for mercilessly beating the living crap out of boyfriends and siblings.

[edit] Prax

[edit] Etymology

From Latin praximus, from Old English praex; related to Old English aervor, “penis”.

[edit] Noun

1. A flying serial killer who terrorizes acid junkies.
2. One who farts on retards.
3. Colloquial: A form of Reaganomics
4. Finance: An investor who sells (commodities or securities) in anticipation of a fall in prices.
5. Colloquial: A felch mongerer
6. Slang: A large hairy man, especially one who is gay.
7. Religion: A Disciple of Prax

[edit] Antonyms

• Bunny
• Nema Toad
• Derf
• Pubic Hair
• AIDS

[edit] Verb

1. To spluge, eg. Lars just praxxed all over my face!
2. Slang: To stick a straw into one's rectum and suck, eg. I'll prax you dry!
3. Law: A misinterpretation of a piece of evidence by the prosecution, eg. Is it just me, or did you prax the witness?

[edit] Prefix

A prefix is a fragment of a word that appears at the start of that word. For example, pre is a prefix of the word prefix. Similarly, bat is a prefix of Batman, and ass is a prefix of asspirate.

[edit] Predictive Text

A book that you already know the ending of because a close friend has told you it. Not to be confused with utter gibberish, a setting on your phone to complicate text messages.

[edit] Prepostmoderndeconstructivism

A popular artistic movement led jointly by the American Whigs and the twentieth-century surrealists. It is said that the War of 1812 occurred as a result of the problems created by prepostmoderndeconstructivist artwork.

[edit] Pregnancy

A method of making beach balls. Each beach ball is born an individual perfect sphere, and has the same rights as a human being. A mistake made most often when the male spouse dosn't wear the glove.

[edit] Presage

Book-keeping method before the advent of Sage Accounts

[edit] Pression

A happy state of mind, the opposite of depression q.v.

[edit] Presumptious

The prelude to a fine meal.

[edit] Priceless

About Tree Fiddy.

[edit] Priest

• (1)A person who usaully hangs round in a church
• (2)a tank of water (comes free with water)
• (3)your dads blue overalls also see briefs

[edit] Primary School

Twee little-kids establishment covered in flowers.

[edit] Primary School Assembly

Pointless daily exercise when the teachers blather on to hypnotise the little kids and bore the older ones into submission.

[edit] Primary School Songs

Normally sung at Assemblies. Extremely twee, geared towards little kids, and an absolute pain in the butt to sing if you're older than 1 millisecond.

[edit]

Prime Minister

Leader of small island nation, any citizen can be a candidate by collecting the relevant tokens on the back of crisp packets.

[edit] Principal Agent theory

Principal Agent theory is an economic theory stating that millions of identical agents spy on a few principals. Game theory has shown that players get bored quickly and acquire haphazard morals.

[edit] Prinnies

A small talking penguin that contains the soul of your mom. They are also known as "your poweranimal" and are often found in caves. They enjoy sliding, saying "d00d" a lot, and being very lazy. They are also known to be worshipers of mountain dew and end every sentence by saying "dew" as a tribute to their holy drink. Their main diet consists of demons from the universe of disgaea.

[edit] Prinny

See Prinnies...

[edit] Procrastibation

Procrastibation is when you are so lazy that you put off masturbation.

[edit]

Pr0n

1. A spin-off of the T.V. program "Teletubbies" which features three extra characters (Lolita, her sista, and me). It is targeted at kids between the ages of 13 and 60.
2. Any pornography which involves shrimp.

[edit] Prograsm

The physical or emotional gratification (most often felt as sexual gratification) experienced by otherwise impotent computer programmers upon the creation of a new computer virus.

    orign: The word is thought to have first been used by a staff H.R. psychologist for a large national supermarket chain to define a symptom being described by an employee who ejaculated
    each time he created a SKU number that charged customers more than the shelf display price for products.

[edit] Programmer

A human being who lacks a permanent IP address and/or computer.

[edit] Prolog

Programming language commonly known as the worst invention EVER. Prolog is used to create Artificial Unintelligence, creating most of the stupidity in the world (the rest comes from humans).

[edit] Prometheus

After years of giving it away, Metheus started to charge for his services.

[edit]

Prostate

Superior and professionally run state of any country with the exception of California, United Spades of Amerika that is currently suffering from libido prostitution with increased muscles and bones. See also Seantitus.

[edit] Pronumeral

1. Just like a amnumeral only with a higher rank and better pay.

2. A person who thinks numbers are the best thing ever. Usually employed as mathematicians, maths teachers or on Countdown. see Vorderman, Carol

[edit] Protein

A youth service worker, or an older advocate for someone aged over 12 years but under 20 years.

[edit] Prothegated

The word prothegated stems from the old confusion saying, "You're so prothegated." Other uses of the word are, "I prothegated all over the floor last night." And of course, the famous British version, "Pip Pip. Where's my prothegated tea!?"

The word has been called an adverbanoun because of it's many uses, but the true meaning of this word cannot truly be expressed through sheer words on a page.

Also see Super Rocket Go Machine

[edit] Provocative

Bullshit, as in "The newspaper headline was deliberately provocative".

[edit] Prudish

A liberal term for "anyone who doesn't have sex with virtually anyone they meet, animals, donkeys, and homosexuals"

[edit] PS3

The shortened name of the Sony Playstation 3. The PS3, while it will be sold as a gaming console, is actually a mind control device that turns anyone who touches it into a zombie that eats all electronics not made by Sony. It also makes nachos.

[edit] Pseudo

Pseudo is a word invented by Dr Hans Zarkov. According to The Best Dictionary in the World - Ever! (Junior Edition), it means "Kind of, but not really at all." The word is used in modern language by scientists as a key method of explaining any phenomena not already explained by science fiction. It is also used frequently by communists.

The term originates from a contraction of the german Pseeven, to pee, and Udo, a japanese dog.

[edit] Psychiatrist

A gullible -iatrist who has just been fooled.

Perhaps. But in most civilized countries and also in the U. K., they are medical doctors who have gone through a rigorous selection procedure to get into a highly selective medical school, spent at least four years studying all sorts of esoteric medical topics, and then find they faint at the mere sight of blood, let alone a severed arm or penis. They then choose a residency in Psychiatry, which used to involve a form of witchcraft called Psychoanalysis, but now involves giving their patients whatever drugs the pharmaceutical salesmen are flogging.

[edit] Psycopath

Crazy paving. Also, a path designated for the use of mad pedestrians only. The initial plan, psycho-lanes on motorways, was ruled out after extensive testing.

[edit] Pubertized

The process of going through puberty; hair growing everywhere; clothes ripping as you gain unbelievable height; and howling at the moon. You know, the usual after a pint of Guinesss. Jesus would say the same if he hadn't died in that terrible motorbike accident.

[edit] Pubic

(adj) The spelling of the word "public" used during the Christmas period. The revised spelling dates back to the sixteenth century anglo/french Christmas carol and in particular the line where the angel sings "Noël, Noël, Noël, Noël" or in English " No L, No L, No L, No L".

[edit] Pug-Fugly

used to describe an extremely ugly, fat person. eg. "your looking mighty pug-fugly today, Bob!"

[edit] Pug-Fugle

A person who is Pug-Fugly (see above)

[edit] Pukka pies

Pukka Pies are a foodstuff based on the corpses of half-man half-goat children, cased in a light puff pastry. Popularised in The Haskodrome as a way of removing the plague of goatmen which was engulfing the cities of Weston Super-Mice and Kiptown Upon Windsearching. The pies were backed with a popular advertising campaign featuring the memorable strapline: Necrotize With Pukka Pies!

[edit] Pukofec

Pronunciation Key : Peyou-koe-feck (pyk fk)

adjective

a. of or relating to that which induces vomit.

b. exclamation of frustration or stress.

c. Irrationally demanding.

[edit] Pulitzer Prize

The Pulitzer Prize is an award given annually to authors who have done the most pulitzing. It is completely different from the "Pullet Surprise" which is given to those who tell the "take my cock and pullet" joke after being repeatedly asked to cease.

[edit] Pain in the Nuts

A Dog who bites nuts, alsp known as Dick Cheiney, Prince and that Asian guy who keeps making gay moaning noises at your dad.

[edit] Puke

1. To lose your lunch, dinner, breakfast, or even desert, or maybe even Taco Bell's Fourthmeal, because you ate poison or did something stupid.

2. Gross un-digested food that came out your mouth. It usually hurts to puke.

[edit] Pull A Bush

1. Getting what one wants by using unsubstantiated lies and deception as the truth. (see "nucular")

2. FOX reality TV show on which the contestants compete for the right to have sexual intercourse with a member of their choice of America's first family.

[edit] Punch in the nuts

An expression used to denote a mishap or some thing gone awry at a party.

Example: The party was in full swing, until some fool got punch in the nuts.

[edit] Puppet

1. A life form comprised of Jenova cells, usually implanted with false memories. See also George W. Bush and socks (possibly with ladders in them).

2. A mutated spaceworm discovered in the far-reaches of the fashionable left wing of the Safe Zone. Commonly associated with Swiss