Unicyclopedia

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

“I used to spend hours each day editing Unicyclopedia. Now I have a life.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Unicyclopedia

“In Soviet Russia, Unicylopedia rides YOU!”

~ Russian reversal on Unicyclopedia

Unicyclopedia is more of a concept than a tangible object. As such, it is difficult to reduce it to words. As Plato once said, "One man's Unicyclopedia is another man's anal sex."^[1] Scientific debates rage over the question whether the Unicyclopedia is properly categorized as a vehicle or a reference source. For reasons that cannot be revealed here, they are all completely wrong.

Contents 1 Mesopotamia 2 Ancient Greece 3 Perineum 4 The Unicyclopedia in Urban Legends 5 Test Your Reading Comprehension! 6 Witty Repartee

[edit] Mesopotamia

Aside from its status as a moderate college radio hit for the B-52's, Mesopotamia is generally considered the birthplace of the Unicyclopedia,^[2] where its enormous wooden wheel, heavy with thousands of books, was used as a form of siege engine.

[edit] Ancient Greece

In ancient Greece, the Unicyclopedia was often depicted as a hideous hybrid of various species, not unlike Bat boy. For some reason, the Greeks always depicted the Unicyclopedia as having a prominent anus.^[3] Plato reportedly had a Unicyclopedia, and Aristotle allegedly had two.^[4]

[edit] Perineum

The perineum is the area between the anus and the scrotum (for boys) or the vagina (for girls).^[5] It has nothing to do with the Unicyclopedia. I just like talking about it. I believe the plural would be perinea.^[6] Scientists have recently speculated that This Guy has at least one perineum, if not several perinea.

[edit] The Unicyclopedia in Urban Legends

• It is widely believed that every time you masturbate, god asplodes a Unicyclopedia. This is actually bullshit.^[7]

• Some people think Unicyclopedias are those old-fashioned bicycles with the ginormous wheels, like in The Prisoner. These people are fucktards.

• If you are driving and another car flashes its bright lights at you, do not flash them back. This is a method used by gangs of Unicyclopedia editors to select victims for their next random act of deletionism.

• If you send this to 99 people, the mailman will bring you $1,000,000.00 tomorrow. If you do not, you will get a visit from Satan.

[edit] Test Your Reading Comprehension!

Unicyclopedia is:

(a) half a book about bicycles

(b) half a bike about icicles

(c) Wikipedia with one eye (i.e., Wkipeda)

(d) Jimbo Wales' worst nightmare

(e) A collection of Hillary Clinton's ass wrinkles.

(f) My hump my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps

(g) Failed Slovakian transportation style. (They couldn't think of a way incorporate torture)

Choose wisely -- the fate of the free world depends on it!

<upsidedown>Correct answer: d. Haven't you learned? It's all about the Jimbo!<upsidedown>

[edit] Witty Repartee

1. ↑ At least we think he said that. We're not 100% sure, although Shirley down the street swears he said it at dinner the other night. It was either that or "Hey Shirley, I think you need to clear the wax out of your ears".
2. ↑ It's actually considered the cradle of civilization, but since civilization spawned the Unicyclopedia, it's not really that much of a stretch, is it?
3. ↑ Those ancient Greeks, they sure knew how to party!
4. ↑ It is assumed that this was the source of his nickname, Aristotle "Two Unicyclopediae" Jackson.
5. ↑ Your results may vary.
6. ↑ Can you use it in a sentence? "Wow, look at all those perinea go!!"
7. ↑ Yeah right.