Union

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This article is about the ogrelike vegetable. For the color, see Onion (color).

There are a variety of types of union, the main varieties are outlined here:

1 The Soviet Union
2 The Western Union
3 The Trade Union
4 The European Union
5 The United States (of America)
6 Trivia
7 See also

[edit] The Soviet Union

Otherwise known as the Red Union, this union is best used in salads. Notoriously finnicky about preparation, for use in cooked dishes the red union can be stewed and salted to bring out the rather bland flavour but it's hardly worth it - in short, you get the same culinary payoff no matter how much labour you put into preparing it.

The perestroika and stolichnaya variants have more "open" and "fermented" tastes, respectively.

[edit] The Western Union

Existing primarily to provide an alternative to the Soviet Union, the Western Union is rather strong in flavour and is best served in small dots and dashes instead of being served up whole.

[edit] The Trade Union

Typical trade union members doing the Joe Hill Hula

A peculiar variety, also known as the Picketted Union, which is more often used as barter than actually eaten. The trade union achieves little in terms of nutritional value or culinary interest but does make any dish it is used in much more difficult to prepare, requiring careful attention to prevent the entire dish from picketting. Cookery with the trade union was mastered by famed celebrity chef and President of America Margaret Thatcher in the 1980s, whose approach to unions revolutionised British cuisine, making humble pie a particularly popular dish among union lovers in that decade.

Source of all that is good, like Soviet Union. Trade unions enable unioneers to trade one union for a different union. Skilful trading yields union with entire universe: Nirvana.

Also a gas station that used to sell sex magazines and other useful stuff.

[edit] The European Union

This union is particularly well complemented by the brussels sprout...along with the national plant, the European Onion. Purchase is difficult due to heavy regulations; should you manage to obtain these unions they are best stored using lots of red tape.

[edit] The United States (of America)

This is a recently-formed group of union-lovers who broke their allegiance to Margaret Thatcher during her reign on the Dragon Throne and seceded from America. They are doing well economically in their first decade of existence and celebrate the anniversary of their independence with a holiday they have named Thanksgiving, during which they perform the Macarena and eat many, many unions.