United States of Cillit Bang

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The national cleaning product of the United States of Cillit Bang

The United States of Cillit Bang (also known as the United States of Easy-Off Bam in Australia) is the most powerful country in the world today. It was formerlly known as the USA, until it was taken over by Barry Scott, together with Mr T, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sitting Bull many a century ago. It's inhabitants are mostly the zombie remains of the people who were involved in the Big Bang, actually caused by a Cillit Bang factory, inventing the Bermuda Triangle. The Soviet Union once consisted of the Unites States of Cillit Bang, Calgon, Finish, Clorox, Mr Sheen, Mr Muscle, Clearasil and Cif.

1 Uses
2 First to land on the Moon
3 States
4 Famous Residents

[edit] Uses

Although it has been deemed the cleanest place on earth, with the tendency of locals to dip pennies into Cillit Bang and shout Good As New, The States are actually a hideout for Willy Wonka where he plots to take over the world, and of course to sell Cillit Bang to little kids.

[edit] First to land on the Moon

Willy Wonka has a space ship, the CillitBang 11, the first to land on the Moon, which has been submerged in a huge ocean of Cillit Bang. Even now the Cillit Bang flag with the logo "Good as New" printed proudly on the front can be viewed. There are a number of reasons for landing on the Moon, most believe Barry Scott saw it as a giant Penny that needed cleaning.

[edit] States

After the USA had been colonised, Barry Scott decided that the state names didn't reflect his beloved cleaning product's name. To make up for this, he renamed them all. Well, actually not all, because 50 states were too many for him count (not blaming this problem on his obsessive drinking of Cillit Bang), so he merged them all into seven super-states:

Goodasnewyork, run by Willy Wonka
Goodasnewfoundland, once part of Canada, now the base of Cillit Bang black market.
Lookhowitgetsthinpensylvania, run by Barry Scott & Mr T
Barryzona, equivalent to Las Vegas
Washington C.B., capital
Goodasnew Mexico, Spanish-speaking state
BangandthedirtisOregon, the world's largest vat of Cillit Bang

[edit] Famous Residents

Barry Scott, the guy who promotes Cillit Bang and Cillit Bang cult leader
Mr T, the guy who pities anyone who doesn't use Cillit Bang
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Guy who terminates anyone who doesn't buy Cillit Bang
Willy Wonka, the guy who runs Cillit Bang corp.
Fresh Prince, became "Fresh" after he was dipped into a crate of Cillit Bang
Uncle Phil, had an overdose of Cillit Bang and became known as Uncle Fill or Full
George W Bang, The President, lives in the Black House
The Cillit Bang Gang, Official CB Army, Navy and Air Force
Ambroise Pare, Painted the Mona Barry
David Hasselhoff, was kidnapped and tormented; they did this to emphasise the Hassel part of his name
The Cillit Bang Band, sing the National Anthem of the Country
Chuck Norris, Barry's second father