University of Michigan

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“I watch the Michigan Wolverines on the radio all the time.”

~ Gerald Ford

The University of Michigan is an institute of higher learning located in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Currently, it is the only part left of the former state of Michigan still under United Spades control after the Nike Revolution of 2006. It is, in the words of its president, diversity.

Contents

[edit] History

The University of Michigan was founded in Detroit in 1817. During the Detroit potato famine of 1845, the University searched for a new home and chose Ann Arbor, named after a well known whore that had wandered down from her home in East Lansing.

Ground was broken on the University's first building, Angell Hall, in 1847. That was also the year in which the university first admitted students not of the Albigensian faith. Building of the university continued at a fast pace until 1863, when the University was razed to the ground by Confederate troops under Nathan Bedford Forrest.

Rebuilding the University took the better part of 50 years, during which time programs were added in mathematics, Slovakian studies, and fingerpainting. During the 1920s the University became known as a top institution for students denied admission to the Ivy League as a result of their insufficiently high IQ's. This influx of students from the East Coast of the U.S. increased Michigan's reputation as a safety school tenfold. Meanwhile, Michigan State University, a neighboring "University", continued to admit cows in their attempts to raise their academic profile

After a recruiting scandal that was adjudicated by the Supreme Court in the case Gratz v. Bollinger, the University announced in 2004 that it is vacating all academic records from 1984 to 2000. As a result of this self-imposed sanction, the university was forced to remove three Nobel Prize and two Rhodes Scholar banners from the rafters at Crisler Arena.

In 1974 it was learned that the city of Annarbour never provided the University with the mule that it had been promised in return for the university's relocation to the city. In retaliation, the University unleashed a plague of couches placed on porches and expensive coffee shops that continues to this day. The University also dropped the mule as its official mascot and replace it with alumnus Arthur Miller's favorite X-Man, the Wolverine.

During the Nike Revolution of 2006, the University was occupied for a brief period by the New Michigan Red Army. However, much like in the movie Red Dawn, students launched a guerrilla campaign to expel the enemy troops, using the nickname "Wolverines". This proved successful, however, the rest of Michigan remains under the control of the New Michigan Communists. Because of the tension between New Michigan and the University of Michigan, the Michigan Wall was erected on the border.

As a result of this outcome, much changed at the University. During student efforts in containing New Michigan forces, the Michigan Student Assembly assumed all administrative power at the University. Their current president is Peer, who has led the charge to support Proposal K, the Peer-to-Peer File Sharing Amendment (which will legalize all types of file sharing at Michigan).

The former administration still exists, but in a role similar to that of the monarch in a constitutional monarchy. Currently, the administrative president is the Mary-Sue character, in case you were wondering.

On September 1, 2007, the University of Michigan was conquered by an ambitious army of mountaineers, and is now under their direct control.

[edit] Official currency

The official currency of the University of Michigan is the Entrée Plus Dollar (EP$). The official exchange rate is EP$1 = US$1. The black market value of the currency had fallen when Coca-Cola was banned at U-M during the Winter 2006 semester; however, it is on the rise and is expected to regain equity with the dollar soon.

[edit] Official word and U-M Specific Swear Words

The official word of the University of Michigan is MCRI.

Also, the University of Michigan has several swear words specific to itself. The most notable of these words is the word "MCRI". Say this word and you've said the seven dirty words all in one - the MCRI (Michigan Car Rental Initiative) ballot proposal is hated all around campus, which has lead to MCRI becoming a swear word. It can be used as both a noun and a verb, for example:

"MCRI You!" (verb)

"This MCRI of a proposal sucks!" (noun)

Other U-M swear words include "Buckeye", "Straight Person", "Notre Dame", "Appalachian State", "Straight Person", "Spread offense", "Lloyd Carr", "Straight Person", "Conservative", and "Straight Person".

[edit] Special rules and regulations

It is obligatory for every student at U-M to invent at least one activist campaign "to better the public good". This requirement was created in 2003, ostentiably to "better the public good", but has in fact caused a number of weird, dumb, or just plain silly student campaigns, including:

  • Students Against Britney Spears (duh!!!)
  • No Iraq (evidently they want to nuke Iraq off the map)
  • Justice League for Turnpike Toll Collectors
  • Turnip Green Liberation Army
  • Students for Zelda
  • Students for PS3 (aka the "we WILL buy PS3, even if we have to drop out of school to pay for it" group)
  • Students for Xbox 360 - a rabid Xbox 360 fan group who HATES everything Sony and Nintendo
  • Students for Wii - Aka. Virgins United
  • Students for Michigan (duh - why would Michigan students be against Michigan!)
  • Michigan Action Party - Student government party with a platform that includes supporting action and Michigan.
  • BAMN (a small, but militant ecumenical church group that HATES affirmative actions)
  • MCRI (Michigan Car Rental Initiative - a group which wants to reform car rental laws in Michigan)
  • On Campus Casinos Now!
  • Free Earth (who wouldn't want a free Earth?)
  • BLT Club
  • Osama Videos Club
  • Campus Baathists
  • Student Al-Qaeda
  • Student Nazi Party
  • The U-M Club to Save the Universe from evil Republicans
  • The U-M Club to Save the Universe from evil Democrats
  • Barney Must Die! (the most popular group on campus)
  • The We Hate You Intolerant Right-Wing Nutjobs who Drive SUVs Club
  • The We Hate You Godless Left-Wing Nutjobs who Drive Japanese Cars Club
  • Students for Space Exploration
  • Students for Free Spear Fishing!
  • Ant Liberation Organization
  • Normil Club for normilization of marijuana
  • Save Pluto!
  • U-M Students for Weed
  • Students for Obama
  • Students for Osama
  • Students for Hillary
  • Students against Hillary
  • Students for Gravel
  • Students for Dirt
  • Students for Sand
  • Students for Mitt
  • Students for Bat
  • Students for Ball
  • Students for McCain
  • Students for McAbel
  • Students for McDonalds
  • Rudy Sucks! (quite popular, as no one likes Rudy due to his support of Notre Dame)

Additionally, the University of Michigan was formerly known for the massive number of affirmative actions which took place on campus. In fact, due to U-M's role in defending affirmative actions in the Supreme Court and the Even Supremer Court, Ann Arbor was known as the "Affirmative Action Capital of the World". The passage of the MCRI (Michigan Car Rental Initiative) has now changed this - affirmative action is now punishable by death by being run over by a rental car. However, the University is planning airstrikes on the Supreme Court to get affirmative action back By Any Means Necessary.

Until recently, the University of Michigan was a dry campus (that is, no Coca-Cola allowed, period). This is because in 2006 the University, under pressure from RC groups (those who favor RC Cola), banned all Coca-Cola products from campus.

[edit] Layout of the Campus

[edit] Central Campus

The majority of the University's academic programs are located on Central Campus. Landmarks on Central Campus include Burton Tower, the university's first attempt at constructing the world's most phallic building, and the Diag, where world-renowned harmonica player Zell Miller plies his trade. Visitors are attracted to the Exhibit Museum, which displays 3,000 year old dinosaur fossils, and the U of M art museum, where the works of the university's greatest fingerpainting graduates are stored.

Some notable buildings on Central Campus include:

  • Freeze Building - This building is the coldest on campus. DO NOT GO in the Freeze Building (or the Frieze Building as it is sometimes archaically spelled) - you will freeze to death without proper protective gear! Any "classes" scheduled in the Freeze Building are not real sections, but a joke played on incoming freshmen who don't know any better. The only thing actually done in the Freeze Building is research needing EXTREMELY COLD temperatures. This building was torn down, to make room for a giant Taco Bell and the newest dorm, to be known as "North Quad presented by Taco Bell".
  • Phlegm Administration Building - The one building which students CAN NOT go into, the Phlegm Administration Building is where the University conducts its super secret business. This is where the Ghostbusters have their campus office (some of the old dorms have ghost problems), as well as the FBI, CIA, and Men in Black. Also, as the name suggests, this is the building which super secret experiments with phlegm are conducted, as well as the offices of the University administration (which has control in name only - the Michigan Student Assembly holds the real power since the Nike Revolution of 2006).
  • Michigan Union - This is the "U-M Greatest Hits" building. You get some food places, a couple of cool rooms, and a few offices - all of which have, in recent years, become hot spots for man-on-man butt sex. Additionally, on the third floor of the Union is the Michigan Student Assembly Chambers, where the Michigan Student Assembly administers the University (and makes plenty of Michigan Daily headlines in the process, if only because the Daily has nothing better to write about).
  • Michigan League - Slightly different from the Michigan Union, but not hugely (for the most part, the only difference is that it used to have a Tim Hortons) (it was destroyed in pre-Nike Revolution combat, however) - it originally was the Girls Edition of the Michigan Union back when the Union had a "No Girls Allowed" rule.
  • Angell Hall - The biggest of four connected halls (Angell, Haven, Mason, and Tisch). Angell Hall contains several classrooms, the world-famous Lettered Auditoriums, the Perlman Honors Commons, and U-M's secondary, indoor football stadium - the Fish Bowl.

NOTE - It is a FEDERAL OFFENSE for people not in a Honors program to go inside the Perlman Honors Commons. Additionally, it is also a FEDERAL OFFENSE to enter into the Michigan Student Assembly Chambers if you are not a member of the MSA.

All electricity for Central Campus is produced by the President spinning the Cube every morning, despite official denials.

[edit] North Campus

After Burton Tower lost the 1964 Pritzker Prize for Most Accurate Phallus, the university purchased a tract of land about one mile northeast of Central Campus in order to make a new attempt at winning that prestigious prize. Leaving no detail to chance, Lurie Tower was constructed with a visible urethra and two small towers at its base to simulate testicles [1]. Lurie Tower was more successful than Burton Tower and was awarded the 1987 Most Accurate Phallus Prize.

Once Lurie Tower was constructed, there was plenty of room left on North Campus for the university to use for other nefarious projects. In 1983, the University announced that North Campus would be converted into an experimental prison for engineers. The belief was that, if isolated from society at large, engineers would develop into a race with superhuman scientific activity, capable of making intelligent design theory seem coherent and finally determining the true value of pi. The experiment was unsuccessful because engineers have always isolated themselves from society at large, even without coercion, and thus the engineers imprisoned on North Campus behaved no differently than engineers allowed to roam the world freely. The only lasting effect of this experiment is that the Faculty of Engineering is rated first in U.S. News & World Report's annual ranking of engineering schools in the category of "Least Capable of Engaging In Non-Technical Conversation."

Some well-known buildings on North Campus include:

  • 2000 Bonisteel - The Arts and Architecture building. Nobody speaks of what goes on in this building. Rumors say that architecture students are bent over routinely by their professors.
  • Bursley Hall - Often known as the "Burlodge", Bursley Hall is, by far, the most popular restaurant on campus. It has been rated so by the Michigan Every Three Weekly AND the Michigan Daily for 8 years running. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are served in a lodge-like setting out in the middle of nowhere. Additionally, Bursley Hall contains lodging for those who love their food that much.
  • Pierpont Commons (aka "Michigan Union-Lite") - North Campus's version of the Michigan Union, only with less room and only Chinese food (Panda Express - not even full-size Panda!). As with other Express versions of bigger things (Taco Bell Express, Outlook Express, Holiday Inn Express) - it is advisable to skip the express version and go with the full-blown version.
  • Duderstadt Center - Formerly the Media Union, the Duderstadt Center assumed its present name as a result of being purchased by the Federal Republic of Germany. It is now a German exclave on the U-M campus, and as such German is the official language, the euro is the official currency, and German law applies (so leave your Nazi stuff in your dorm, or else!) German majors often come here to practice their German, as well as to participate in study abroad programs on the cheap (though they naively don't know that "Duderstadt" is actually located on campus and NOT in Europe). There is also lots of computers here for student use - as the Germans are all into technical stuff.
  • Dow Building - Home of the U-M Stock Exchange. Buy shares in your favorite part of the University of Michigan here!
  • FXB - The Federal Xecution Building, this is where students are executed for federal crimes (most commonly, for "illegally entering the Perlman Honors Commons", "beer drinking", "disturbing the Professor (a crime made famous in the Narnia series)", or "walking by the Forbidden Train Tracks")
  • CSE - The newest building on campus, this is the building that EVERYBODY wants a class in. It has cool stairs, a bunch of good computer science courses, and looks like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory turned into a computer science building. It also is the home of the 5000-ft Xbox, which will attack in several months time.
  • EECS - Home of the world-renowned HKN Donut Stand (which makes it worth the trip alone - even if you're not even on campus!), some random offices and computer science classes exiled from the CSE building (aka classes where the professors refused to pay the requisite bribes - not unlike the XYZ Affair).

[edit] Athletic Campus

The University of Michigan is a member of the Big Ten Athletic Conference, which as of 2004 has 457 members, the third-most of any NCAA conference. The university's student-athletes are its brightest and most academically oriented students, maintaining a four-year graduation rate of 100% and a -0.00000000008 grade-point average.

The chief landmark of the Athletic Campus is Loyd Carr Stadium, which has more seating than any other college football stadium in the world. The stadium maintains this distinction by decreasing the amount of space available for spectators as other college stadiums increase their capacity; in order to maintain its present capacity of 107,501,000, the average spectator receives a portion of bench approximate 23 centimeters wide, and is required to have at least one other spectator sitting on his or her lap. The chief rivals in athletics are the Ohio State Buckeyes, which have lost the series over 80 times. On December 16th, 2007 Michigan hire Rich Rodriguez as head football coach, a good fit for a college known for hiring only the classiest people.

After football, the most popular sport at the University was hockey until the start of the NCAA lockout in 2004, at which time Yost Ice Arena was converted into a curling venue. The crowd at Yost Ice Arena is notorious for its bawdy curling chants, such as the notorious "C-ya" chant recited whenever a rock wrecks on a center guard.

[edit] Residence Halls

The University of Michigan has 23 1/2 residence halls.

A few of these include:

  • West Quad - Popular among lazy students, as they can grab Wendy's, bust in on a Michigamua meeting, or go experience some HARD-HITTING STUDENT GOVERNMENT ACTION without going outside. Also notable for having football players, who practice their tackling skills on the freshmen.
  • South Quad - Honors students who think they're too good for West Quad and its football players.
  • North Quad - Whoops! I guess they have to build it, since they already have all the other directions! Knock down that ugly Frieze Building and MAKE WAY!
  • Couzens - A residence hall with a unique twist - only cousins can be roommates! The name is spelled wrong because a 3rd-grader messed up the sign. Couzens is also known as the workplace of Tommy the sarcastic cafeteria guy.
  • Markley - Where all people who are as un-diverse as possible live.
  • Mosher-Jordan - CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS - BREAK IN AND PLAY LASER TAG IF YOU WANT
  • Stockwell - Girls.
  • Martha Cook - Girls.
  • Bursley - Located in Gaylord, MI, Bursley is a 5 hour bus ride from Central Campus via the "Bursley-Baits" route. However, it does have edible cafeteria food AND lots of trees!
  • Baits I and II - Located in Mackinaw City, MI, Baits is a 7 hour bus ride from Central Campus via the "Bursley-Baits" route. The only thing of note that Baits has is a bait shop, after which it was named. Additionally, it is the only residence hall on campus to have each of its houses spread out onto a different continent.

The Residence Halls Association is the student government for the residence halls. It is known for several things, including:

  • Referring to all its representatives by a residence hall name and number. Hence, one must be always referred to as "Mary Markley" during meetings if you live in Markley, or "Alice Lloyd" if you live there, even if you are male.
  • Having committees with weird names like BOSS, ABC, NBC, and CBS. This is to make students feel important, as they can run around saying that they are the "Chair of ABC" or the "BOSS Chair". Thus, they may be able to fool less-intelligent friends (such as those at Michigan State University) that they run a TV network or are a boss - when they are in fact reviewing funding applications for Extreme Honest-It's-Root Beer Pong Extravaganza.
  • Monitoring the residence halls for any usage of the word dorm and executing the offender. (Using the word "dorm" is a Class A Felony, according to RHA, who insists that they always be called residence halls).

[edit] Student Government

As the chief governing body of the University*, the Michigan Student Assembly is known throughout the world for the moral authority that underlies the resolutions it passes. Its 2005 resolution in favor of divestment from Israel directly led to the collapse of that nation's economy and its conquest by radical Shiite clerics. Another resolution by the Destroy Affirmative Action Party (DAAP) led to the university abandoning its policy of race-conscious admissions. This resolution had the effect predicted by its supporters; minority applications and enrollment both increased by almost 50%.

Also, after a 2006 resolution condemning Iran's remarks on its nuclear program, the President of Iran responded with great fear, saying "Due to pressure from the Michigan Student Assembly, I have no choice but to discontinue my nuclear program." Additionally, another resolution passed by MSA against the war in Iraq resulted in Bush immediately withdrawing all troops - when asked about it, he replied "The MSA made me do it." (On a side note, this resolution took 2 days to pass, since the Assembly kept losing its razor-thin quorum when people went to the bathroom.) Finally, MSA also single-handedly raised the minimum wage in the state of Michigan with its "Raise the Wage" resolution.

However, the MSA is most famous for one thing and one thing only - starting the Nike Revolution. In fact, the MSA Chambers are considered an Official United States Historical Site for being the "Birthplace of the Nike Revolution". It has, however, also been known for its valiant efforts to solve world peace - which has led to several Third World nations, notably Nigeria, asking for MSA's help in recovering the lost money of an otherwise-poor Nigerian prince.

The headquarters of the Michigan Student Assembly are known as the "Michigan Student Assembly Chambers" - into which no one except MSA members is allowed to go into (violators face death by firing squad). However, a television crew was recently allowed unprecedented access to the Chambers to produce a reality TV show based on the Assembly. The show, titled "M.S.A." is currently shown on the Pax TV network during prime-time, where it has consistently been the #1 student government drama on television (defeating NBC's A.S.U.C., the University of California drama and Fox's A.S.M.S.U, the Michigan State University drama).

Additionally, the movie Robert's Rules of Order: The Movie is mandatory viewing for any new MSA member.

NOTE: A few people don't think the School of Public Policy counts as part of the group that MSA represents, because section 12843GFDXZ of the MSA Code says something about seats that doesn't account for their existence. In other words, they didn't pay the required bribes.

[edit] Former Student Political Parties

Throughout the years, there have been many different parties that have run candidates for MSA elections. Some of them include:

  • Crush the Purple Dinosaur Party (CPDP) (The most successful party in the history of the MSA, purple dinosaurs haven't been seen roaming campus since the 1950s, although the natural history museum preserves several specimen for research purposes.)
  • Wolverine Party (sponsored by X-Men)
  • Michigan Party
  • Ohio State Party
  • FRAT Party (Federation of Regional Acid Traffickers)
  • Blue Party (Sponsored by Labatt)
  • Red Green Party (sponsored by Ohio State University, Michigan State University, and CBC)
  • BEER Party (Brotherhood of Electrical Engineers from Rwanda)
  • Party Party
  • Pants Party
  • Martha Cook Boston Tea Party (for girls only)
  • Maize Rage Party (didn't do very well, because apparently "Maize Rage" is a hate crime)
  • Students 4 Michigan (inexplicably disappeared - evidently most students are against Michigan)
  • Tory (Conservative) Party - unable to repeat Canadian success.
  • Michigan Progressive Party - lost its only election to also-defunct Students 4 Michigan due to anti-Michigan allegations
  • HungryHungryCoeds.com Party - Died of starvation.
  • Student Liberty Party - Give me liberty, or give me... wait, MAP always wins.
  • Michigan Independent Party - Failed due to acronym unpopular with underage drinkers.

[edit] Current Student Political Parties

MSA currently has four political parties.

The four parties are:

  • Michigan Action Party (MAP) - The dominant party, MAP's platform is primarily based on three things - Michigan, action, and partying. MAP's dominance of MSA is so great that only the Harlem Globetrotters and the Communist Party of the Soviet Union have better records. Furthermore, it is commonly referred to as the "MSA Appointment Process" by many students, as running with MAP entails almost certain victory. MAP is a full member of the Action International, a worldwide grouping of student government action parties.

NOTE: MAP is NOT related to the former Students 4 Michigan party in any way - in fact, all MAP members HATE all former S4M members due to their reluctance to fully support both Michigan and Action.

  • Destroy Affirmative Action Party (DAAP). The totally-insane party, DAAP's purpose is simple - destroy all affirmative action from the planet. This even includes the concept of a "yes" vote (which is affirmative, and is an action) - DAAP's rule change proposals eliminate that, leaving only "No" and "Abstain" as possible votes. DAAP, however, does support negative action, which includes things like screaming about people being racists and holding obnoxious Diag protests.

NOTE: DAAP is NOT affiliated with the group "By Any Means Necessary". At ALL.

  • Change in Action (CIA). This party is in fact not a "party" in the traditional sense, but a front group for the Central Intelligence Agency, which thought it would get cute with the "CIA" acronym. Has a platform that includes launching a coup to overthrow Mary Sue and invading Ohio State University.

NOTE: CIA is NOT affiliated with the Culinary Institute of America.

  • Independent. Though many people claim this isn't a party, it actually is. Just look at the ballot and you will see that Independent, in fact, generally runs a large group of candidates. The platform of Independent is quite varied, but includes everything from North Campus secession to allowing AK-47s in the CCRB.

NOTE: Independent is NOT affiliated with Ross Perot's old party or an insurance company.

[edit] The Upcoming Elections

The upcoming elections will be a matchup between four parties - MAP, who has won every election in some form or another since MSA's establishment, DAAP, which has been around longer than MAP (before MSA existed, it was a militant campus rebel group known for invading the Fleming Administration Building) but has never actually won, the CIA (all intelligent beings should know who they are), and Independent. Hamas, Hezbollah, and al Qaeda in Michigan are boycotting the election - as they always do. Former Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif was going to come to U-M and enter his Pakistan Muslim League (N) in the MSA polls - however, PML(N)'s great showing in the recent Pakistani elections - as well as Sharif's disqualification from the MSA-Rackham election due to not yet being enrolled in classes - convinced Sharif to choose Pakistan over U-M. Pervez Musharraf and his Pakistan Muslim League (Q) also have no plans on running for MSA now - though that may change in the future if Musharraf is removed as Pakistan's President and needs a government to rule.

Poll monitors have been sent from the other Big Ten schools, UC-Berkeley, the United Nations, OSCE, and a Partnership for a Drug-Free America to ensure a fair election. So far, no wrongdoing has appeared, with the exception of a stray MAP flyer sighted in the MSA office at 4:52pm last Friday - an event that caused much controversy. Pollsters have also been present to give us a closer look at the current state of popular opinion. In a recent Zogby poll, the Michigan Action Party appears to be losing ground - evidently they are likely to lose *two* contested seats AND fail to reach 75% of the vote. At the University of Michigan, that is *huge* - MAP normally only loses one seat. As such, MAP has begun fearing that its plan for world political dominance will be quashed by lethal legislation.

Elections will be held March 19th and 20th, even though several campus terrorist groups have announced plans to launch attacks on several ITCS labs. DPS advises everybody to "keep their heads up" and has urged calm despite the tense situation on the ground. One could certainly say, though, that these elections look bound to reshape a nation - or at least a University.

Stay tuned to UnNews for General Election 2008 coverage!

[edit] Student Life

An annual tradition at Michigan is the "Naked Mile," in which retiring professors run from East Quad to the Michigan Union completely unclothed to celebrate the end of their final term at the university. The Naked Mile has never been recorded by Internet pornographers, who stay away despite being repeatedly invited to come and film the event by university administration.

Another yearly tradition is the "University of Michigan Dance Dance Revolution Marathon", or UMDDRM for short. In the UMDDRM, students, faculty, and staff (even the Mary-Sue character) play Dance Dance Revolution for 30 hours straight, only stopping to start new games or reset the PlayStation. This event is also used as a way to raise money for charitiable causes, as students go to curling matches, and BAMN meetings, to find sponsors for their entry into the UMDDRM.

The most famous student society at the University of Michigan is TSFKAM, or "The Society Formerly Known as Michigamua". As the name suggests, the society was formerly known as Michigamua, which was the cause of much controversy among astronauts (who found that the "mua" in Michigamua stood for Murdering Unsuspecting Astronauts). As a result, NASA protested the existence of the organization, and in 2000 staged a mission to Michigamua's tipi behind the Media Union (now Duderstadt Center). They uncovered evidence of Michigamua murdering unsuspecting astronauts, possibly after their 1989 agreement to stop doing so, and Michigamua was forced to hide in a dorm room in Baits II for 6 years straight. During the 6 years, members did nothing but sing "Kum Ba Yah" and do the tomahawk chop repeatedly. However, before the outbreak of the Nike Revolution of 2006 Michigamua agreed to go public (their stock can now be bought on NASDAQ), cease any murdering of unsuspecting astronauts, and change their name to TSFKAM - thus making themselves more acceptable to the student body at large.

Several known members include:

Other than that, Michigan students have no life - they're either causing the Nike Revolution to start or restart, doing their Psycho homework, or studying the Greek alphabet (Kappa Kappa Kappa - interesting...)

[edit] Famous Alumni


[edit] Links

What happens to Non-Honors Students who enter the Perlman Honors Commons

Michigan Action Party The website of the Michigan Action Party, the sequel to Students 4 Michigan a totally brand new student government party. "Michigan Action--It's a Party!"

BAMN - the most infamous group on campus

The Society Formerly Known as Michigamua (TSFKAM) - the second most infamous group on campus

Michigan Student Assembly - where all of said infamous groups converge and play Super Smash Bros. every Tuesday night at 7:30

[edit] See also

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/University_of_Michigan"
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