Unquotable:Emma Watson
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“God, these things suck.”
~ Emma Watson on yet another Harry Potter movie
“She finally got boobs!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Emma Watson
Actress Emma Watson, (full name Emma Sherlock Watson) known primarily for her role as Harry Potter's sidekick "Tonto" in the movie Harper Valley PTA, is also an outspoken critic of the political establishment, the military-industrial complex, the entertainment industry, and especially herself. Her often-withering self-admonishments over her performances in films such as Harry Potter and the Order of the Weenie, Harry Potter and Some Stupid Thing that Happened, and Harry Potter and the Hairy Penis of Azakazamaza have been described as "some of the most cruel, inhumane, and hideous" statements ever made by an actress in reference to herself.
Luckily, none of the following quotes were actually taken from statements made by Watson, but are in fact completely made up for the purpose of making others "laugh" and "chuckle."
[edit] Watson on Mr. T
- "I pity him. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really do."
- "Can I make my hair look like that?"
- "He's cute, in a mohawk-wearing-large-middle-aged-black-man sort of way."
- "He's a crazy fool, so I don't know what he's on about!"
[edit] Watson on Russian Reversal
- "In Hogwarts, Cock sucks YOU!!"
- "In Hollywood, movie acts YOU!!"
[edit] Watson on Uncyclopedia's Deletion of Spurious Quotes
- "I hate it when they do that."
- "I was once quoted as saying that satirical and parody websites should just be allowed to publish whatever they want, completely without censorship of any kind, all for the sake of humor. Boy, was I wrong! I'm calling my lawyer right now."
If she could afford one.
[edit] Watson on vaginal intercourse
- "It has been brought to my attention that certain persons have wanted to do me from all angles since the first movie. While this is a common occurrence and said gentlemen should not feel ashamed of their urges per se, I would advise them not to mention this to others or to seek work with minors."
[edit] Watson on Samuel L. Jackson
- "He's cute, in a non-mohawk-wearing-large-middle-aged-black-man sort of way."
- "I understand he was in that film about the snakes that were let loose on that airliner? What was that called, again?"
- "Damn, I really wanted that role in Black Snake Moan... I just figured it was the next logical step in my career, after the Harry Potter movies."
[edit] Watson on Chuck Norris
- "I should take roundhouse-kicking lessons from him, but I'm booked up through next August."
[edit] Watson on Clint Eastwood
- "In Spain, they call him 'El Hombre, Clint Eastwood.'"
- "In France, people call him 'L'Homme, Clint Eastwood.'"
- "In the United States, everyone calls him 'The Man, Clint Eastwood.'"
- "Did I mention that I have no appreciable sense of humor whatsoever?"
- "The word 'homey' is derived from the French word homme. So, gangsters call him 'The Homey, Clint Eastwood.' Gangsters are cute."
[edit] Watson on homies, Asuna Kagurazaka, Chuck Norris, Grues, and huffing
- "My homies, who protect me from Grues, know a Chuck Norris-worshipper called Asuna Kagurazaka, whose webpage on Uncyclopedia is unfortunately huffed on a near-constant basis — and are often found at her "crib," watching pr0n and eating enormous uncooked German sausages. One day they introduced me to her, which was quite an interesting experience, for her anyway. Apparently she has no comedic value at all, but luckily for me, I'm unable to appreciate the true extent of the problem."
- "Have I mentioned yet that I'm a professional actress?"
[edit] Watson on William Shakespeare
- "Prithee, I pity thee, fool."
- "Get ME to a nunnery."
[edit] Watson on gangsta slang
- "Give a baller an inch and he'll go for a .45, and you know that's so nasty I need my homies around."
[edit] Watson on Engrish
- "How are you actors. All your base are belong to Hollywood."
