Unquotable:John Locke

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M A I N   P A G E

Contents 1 Locke on Himself 2 Locke on Bush 3 Locke on Jesus 4 Locke on The Island 5 Locke on Delta Burke 6 Locke on Michael Jackson 7 Locke on Kurt Cobain 8 Locke on Swedish Chef 9 Locke on Wikipedia 10 Locke on Uncyclopedia

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If you thought you were looking up a Western Philosopher from the 1600's, you're in the wrong neck of the woods! Of all the unlucky bastards stuck on unknown islands in the Pacific, you'd think we'd find someone a little more interesting than a cripple, right? Well sadly, this is all you get until Hurley spits the food out of his mouth and says something with confidence! How you may ask did such a man manage to become such a beacon of wisdom? Because the writers made him that way. Now shut your mouth and listen to baldy before he slices you up like a ninja.

[edit] Locke on Himself

• "I can't believe I have such muscle tone after being stuck in a chair for years."
• "Sounds like a piss-poor plot device."

[edit] Locke on Bush

• "I've looked into the eye of this man and I realised he's a piss-poor president."
• "You want your damn approval rating back? I want my kidney back!"
• "We found him hiding in the hatch. Someone go get Sayid."

[edit] Locke on Jesus

• "He was a sacrifice the island demanded!"
• "Sounds like a piss-poor savior."
• "I wish that bastard were here, I've got a lot of water I'd like to piggy-back over."
• "The son of a bitch stole my quotes."

[edit] Locke on The Island

• "Good thing I watched Castaway on the flight."
• "70% water, and we have to crash on the one piece of land for miles on this globe? My luck sucks."
• "Sounds like a piss-poor vacation."
• "Thank God, no Leonard Maltin."
• "Hey, I thought The Island is a movie, isn't it?"

[edit] Locke on Delta Burke

• "What's the difference between Delta Burke and Delta Airlines? TWENTY POUNDS!!!"
• "Sounds like a piss-poor actress."
• "Hurley, is that your mom?"

[edit] Locke on Michael Jackson

• "I've been running through the jungle toward the sound of gunfire because I don't care about Michael."
• "Two words. Fucking, pervert."
• "Michael feels a little too much if you ask me."
• "Sounds like a piss-poor singer."
• "This was his destiny. He just didn't know it"
• "Well, I can't tell you it's definitely Michael's, but it looks like his boot print."

[edit] Locke on Kurt Cobain

• "Hmm. Now that's an interesting thing to say for a heroin addict."
• "Sounds like a piss-poor musician, but at least he was a decent shot."
• "How many different ways can you scream into a microphone? Enough for 4 albums apparently."

[edit] Locke on Swedish Chef

• "Sounds like a piss-poor cook."
• "Fork, Spork, or Screw-Cork?"

[edit] Locke on Wikipedia

• "I've done everything you wanted me to do. So why did you do this to me?!"
• "Sounds like a piss-poor idea."

[edit] Locke on Uncyclopedia

• "Sounds like a piss-poor website."
• "As long as we're here I think it should be allowed to realize it's potential."
• "Struggle is Nature's way of strengthening it."
• "I've looked into the eye of this website, and what I saw was beautiful."
• "I'm an ordinary man {insert your name here}, meat and potatoes, I live in the real world. I'm not a big believer in magic. But this 'site is different. It's da shizzle.