Urban Combat
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Part of the Extreme Olympics, Urban Combat is a relatively new martial art, developed by ancient Chinese men, deep in the Australian outback.
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[edit] Origins
Given so much space in which to fight, combatants began using small huts as weapons. This quickly escalated, until Mao-Tsung Song, a famous grandmaster of the art, used a small village he had constructed himself to win a fight with his nemesis and former student, Wing-Fun Chow. Master Song eventually defeated his former student, but was overcome by sorrow, and vowed never to build another house again.
[edit] An Auspicious Development
The art may have died out with Master Song, save for a plucky young woman from America who was hunting Master Song's other renegade student, Bi'lul. She spent a month pleading with Master Song, who now ran a small noodle bar in Sydney. Eventually, moved by the evil his student was committing, Master Song agreed to her wishes, and constructed the most perfectly balanced metropolis he had ever built.
Wielding the city of Bristol the young lady was able to defeat Bi'lul, and fulfil her ancient destiny.
[edit] Modern Day
From this point the sport of Urban Combat grew and grew, until it became a highly refined and popular martial art, with over 5 million active practitioners registered today.
[edit] Famous Battles
The most famous battle in Urban combat was uncontestably the "Fightback in the Outback" where reigning champion Winston Churchill met challenger Oscar Wilde in a vicious rematch following their draw in Tokyo the year before (see Godzilla part 7).
Oscar Wilde was the clear winner, and his "Cape of good hope-a-dope" strategy, where he allowed Churchill to batter him with a large part of urbanised South Africa before rallying to finish a demoralised Churchill with a vicious Paris to the solar plexus earned him international fame and a sizable fortune.
Throughout the fight, Mr Wilde was heard shouting Oscar Wilde quotes at Mr Churchill in an attempt to demoralise him. He was fined 200 Australian Dollars for the vicious "We are all of us lying in the gutter, but you punch like a girl, Winnie-boy" ~Oscar Wilde
