User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays

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“So, you have finally reached my user page! Did you expect a welcome party?”

~ Me on You

“Wait a minute! This isn't the dry cleaners!”

~ You on my user page

[edit] Frequently Asked Questions

• Hey, it isn't Thursday! How come you exist?
  • My name is just a name. It bears little relationship with reality. For example, Famine is not actually a period of intense hunger usually brought about by a crop failure, The Killer Froggy is not really a murderous amphibian.
• Why did you pick such a ridiculous username?
  • I really don't know.
• Do you want to be my friend?
  • That's about as likely as me playing by somebody else's rules...which I would never do. I play by my own rules. Nobody else's. Not even my own.
• Isn't that last response copied word for word from Family Guy?
  • Yes. All of my thoughts are in some sense appropriated from television.
• Did you take my sandwich?
  • Almost certainly not. However, I did take your dignity - it was quite tasty.
• Would you like to come with me to my van? I have sweets for all the kiddies?
  • Yes, yes I would.
• OMG!!!!1! Iz u like teh kewl?
  • Go away.
• Would you like to hear about my religion? If you believe in it you get eternal life...WITH SAVINGS!?
  • It's not actually true though, is it?
• I think you're super! Please tell me what to think.
  • Think the following: "Wing wing wing wing wing wing desk."
• Where can I find a list of your influences?
  • Right here. Or maybe Wikipedia.
• Has anyone ever asked you any of these questions?
  • With the exception of the first one, no.

[edit] Things Written By Me (or someone posing as me)

• The Dog Dies at the End
• Marie Curie (Featured)
• Why?:Read a Book (Featured)
• Why?:Collapse Space-Time (Featured)
• UnBooks:IRAQATTACK (Featured)
• Why?:Trade Your Family's Only Cow For Magic Beans
• UnScripts:Harry Potter and the Inevitable Musical
• Death Easy-Listening
• I Respectfully Disagree
• HowTo:Defeat Evil
• UnNews:Scientists at Haliburton Science Institute Prove Global Warming is Untrue
• Creation Museum
• UnBooks:The Boy Who Cried Wolf
• HowTo:Write a Bad Uncyclopedia Article
• UnNews:Nothing Happens

What I'm working on:

• User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/sandbox
• User:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/sandbox2

More to follow (unless I die (which I won't)).

[edit] Other Stuff

I apologise for the mess down here.

	Poet Lowrate
This person is the winner of the Poo Lit Surprise, which they won for their article: Marie Curie

Featured Article: Marie Curie This person created an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Why?:Collapse Space-Time This person created an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: UnBooks:IRAQATTACK This person created an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: Why?:Read a Book This person created an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Featured Article: The Dog Dies at the End This person created an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

Commander of the Order