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“...what? This guy writes, like, two articles and then has the cheek make a page about himself? I haven't seen that much arrogance in one place since Mass last Sunday.”
~ Oscar Wilde on BlueYonder
“BENSON DOESN'T KNOW WHO THE HELL HE IS AND ALSO DOESN'T CARE WHO HE IS, BUT BENSON IS BETTER THAN HIM!”
~ Benson on BlueYonder
[edit] Userboxes (yes, I know they're untidy, kindly shut up about it)
| This user is uncertain of his or her sexuality and doesn't want to know.
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| This user is a militant atheist
God would be dead... if he was alive in the first place.
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MMORPG
| This user believes MMORPGs are a waste of time and/or money. Furthermore to this fact s/he demands the deletion of all MMORPGs and their players!
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| 18
| This user is 18 years old. Woop-ti-doo.
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| This user reserves the right to completely screw up his or her edits life by spending too much time on Uncyclopedia.
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| This user hates religion and is a sinner through and through!
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| This user is a serial killer, and he/she is standing right behind you!!
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| This user is constantly PEEING. S/He apologizes for the mess.
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| This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
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| This user prefers to play games on a PC as anything else is too complex.
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| LV-3
| This user considers him/herself an advanced gamer and so probably lost his/her job recently.
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| DIFF M
| This user plays Video Games on the default difficulty setting as they simply aren't good enough.
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| TA
| This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.
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| This user is against computer and video game censorship and regulation as they like porn and violence (though not always at the same time).
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| This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.
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| This user hates you and everyone you care about.
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[edit] History
BlueYonder was born Walter Blewitt-Yonderdale, illegitimate son of Arthur Blewitt and Jacqueline Yonderdale. He was born in some hole in the middle of nowhere that nobody cares about.
Although BlueYonder's parents did not care about him as he grew up, they conceded to a reluctant marrige and raised him in a middle class home. Consequently, he grew up civilized, but did not care about anyone either. His parents were highly annoyed fundamentalist Republicans, and favoured such things as the bombing of all public schools, the banning of all science-related teaching and research, and the handing out of free guns every Thursday, and would often indulge in a sexual fetish involving Bible readings and numerous Crucifix necklaces rolled into a whip. This contributed to BlueYonder's hate of religion and Republicans.
At the age of sixteen, BlueYonder escaped the confines of his home by tying his parents to their bed with these same crucifixes (no-one untied them since nobody cared about them, and they were left to starve to death), burned down a nearby church and stole all the proceedings from its last charity collection, and escaped to the greatest frikkin' place on this God-forsaken planet, excuse the partial pun. Once there, he had his name legally changed to BlueYonder, and took on a six-month apprenticeship with none other than the great Richard Dawkins. However, Dawkins eventually realised that BlueYonder did not understand enough about science to be his apprentice, and stopped caring about him. BlueYonder was fully accepting of this, since he knew that the great Dawkins was far too important to be concerned about someone as unimportant as him. BlueYonder also briefly applied to become a Bensonist, but quickly pulled out when he realised Bensonism was a religion. Benson promptly owned him, then forgot he had ever met him, as he was better than him.
However, through his brief stint of interest in Bensonism, BlueYonder found out about the great Uncyclopedia. Joining with raging, hard enthusiasm, his first few days did not go well due to his pride-when a nice guy asked him if he was interested in being adopted, BlueYonder slapped him in the face and vandalised his user page. However, he soon became better aquainted with the ways of Uncyclopedian life, and now spends his days writing various bad HowTo and Why? articles no one wants to review and making countless sucking-up references on his user page to high-level Uncyclopedians who have never heard of him.
BlueYonder also currently cannot get enough of Orian57's newfangled UnProvise and wishes more people would get involved in it.
[edit] Articles I hast writ
[edit] UnScripts
[edit] UnNews
[edit] UnPoetia
[edit] UnProvise
[edit] Articles I've vandalised...oh, I'm sorry, edited
[edit] Achievements
