User:Boomer/My Family
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[edit] My Mommy
My mommy's name is Susan. She does lotsa work around the house. She does the laundry, and cooks, and feeds the doggies, and sometimes when daddy's being a dickwad she goes outside and gardens. Her tomatoes are yummy. I don't like the onions, though, they're icky. Sometimes, when she stays home to keep an eye on daddy she lets me put on her makeup. It makes me look pretty. I can't put on too much though, because mommy always calls me a slut and says I'll grow up to be a call girl, which is like one of those telemarketers except with makeup. She makes yummy sandwiches, too. When it's bedtime, my mommy tucks me in and sometimes reads me a story! Her stories are good, but they're weird because the hero is always named Jack and when he saves the princess she always leaves him because he just sits around all day in his recliner drinking beer and watching sports on TV. She also always seems sad when she's done reading, and when she kisses me to sleep she tells me to never marry the quarterback, but I don't know what she's talking about because why would I ever want to marry a quarter? But she always looks happy afterwards so I don't say anything.
[edit] My Daddy
My daddy's name is John. He works a lot and cleans his car and mommy says he always yanks his rope while she's not looking but I've never seen him do it. My daddy's great. He likes to take me fishing, and sometimes he holds me over the edge of the dock and lets me stick my head in the water. One time he let me stay in the water for so long that I fell asleep and when I woke up mommy was driving me home and crying and I didn't see daddy. But he came home later so it's all right. He also curses a lot, which isn't so nice. One time when I cursed he yelled and told me to go to my room and not come out until I learned what ass meant in the fucking immigrant language. I got bored so I played solitaire. When he let me back out he looked sad so I hugged him and he was happy again and bought me Dairy Queen. Then he went out riding his hog to pick up broads so I walked home and helped mommy garden. I told her that he was on his hog but she kept saying he was getting his rope yanked. I don't get why he would need someone else to yank his rope when he could do it himself. Boys are weird.
[edit] My Brother
My brother's name is Sam. He's really cool. He plays football at his school and hangs out with his friends a lot[1] so I don't get to see him too much. I asked him why he's gone so much and he told me that chicks dig football players and when he's not playing he's usually getting some pussy. Then he looked at me funny and laughed, so I don't ask him many questions any more. I asked mommy one time and she told me that he's out getting hammers with his dumbass friends and getting SCDs[2] from the local sluts like that one whore that lives down the street and will bend over backwards for any one wearing a letter jacket. That sounds painful. I'm gonna ask her some time how she does it. My brother also likes to collect stamps.
[edit] Notes
I hope I did this right teacher you told us to put notes at the bottom so here it is
