User:Bradaphraser/for President

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Vote Bradaphraser for President in '08! He's got a name you've seen before!

[edit] Middle-class values

Bradaphraser is a conservative member of the Internet community. As such, he understands the common man and can use that understanding to make some kind of decision on something.

[edit] Foreign Policy

Bradaphraser has chosen a foreigner as his running mate, so he understands foreign policy.

[edit] Change

To his knowledge, no one has ever been elected in clear violation of the Constitution of the United States. As such, upon his election, Bradaphraser will already be a trendsetter.

[edit] Waffling

Bradaphraser has stated that he supports wafflers in the past; however, he now believes the "waffle rights" lobby has gone too far, and is willing to go to bat with whoever he finds to oppose him to ensure that our way of life is preserved. Bradaphraser supports family values, and opposes "waffle rights."

[edit] Hard to say

Combined with his running mate, Modusoperandi, the Bradaphraser/Modusoperandi campaign is the hardest ticket to pronounce in an era. We therefore are the clear and logical choice to run this country as President and ... Vice-President? Whatever you call the other guy.

[edit] Incompetence

Only one campaign is honest enough to declare their incompetence openly. That campaign is us! We have no qualms nor quibbles with admitting that we have no idea what we are doing. When compared to our opponents, we have less leadership experience, and, in fact, accomplished much less when put in a position of leadership. So when placed with the option of fascism and honest incompetence, make the right choice! ...Whatever that happens to be.

[edit] Failure

Unlike other political candidates, we do not shrink from failure. In fact, we embrace it! Vote Bradaphraser/Modusoperandi in '08! "We're sure to loose!"

[edit] Moment of Truth

Ok, now. I want you to vote for whoever you think would be the best President. But remember, if you vote for me, with my first action as President, I'll make you a superdelegate. (Members of the voting commission, election oversight committee, and current superdelegates: IGNORE THIS PARENTHETICAL. Ok guys, I really need these votes. I'm WAY behind in the delegate count and I need something to prove I'm electable. Please vote in this poll even if you wouldn't REALLY vote for me.)