User:Crablogger

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The only known image of User:Crablogger, on an early poster for Slappy's Angels (He's the one on the right, you idiot!)

Crablogger is a British idiot who wastes hours of his pathetic life typing up loads of crap for the Uncyclopedia, and writes about his relationship to cartoon characters just because he can't get a real girl.

[edit] Sex Life

Crablogger is the sex-slave to Slappy Squirrel, with a sex drive like a Russian prostitute with abnormally high testosterone levels.

Their relationship has been confessed openly, but only a handful of perverts actually care, especially since Slappy is an 80-year-old squirrel and Crablogger is a teenager with the intellectual capacity of a retarded glove puppet.

[edit] Writing

For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about: Interpretive Death

His relationship with Slappy was mentioned in his bestselling novel, How to do It with a Squirrel, which was later surpassed by Return of the Killer Tomatoes by Bill Gates and Nibbling the Nuts: The Life of a Squirrel, an autobiography written by Crablogger's drinking partner, Skippy Squirrel, who by a staggering coincidence is Slappy's nephew.

[edit] Film Career

He's also starred with Slappy Squirrel and Lola Bunny in the film, Slappy's Angels, as a bungling wiki writer called "Andy", because that is his name, duh. "Andy" would later appear in the next two sequels and in the TV series, but the importance of "Andy" gradually decreased as the franchise progressed. In 2015, his luck changed when the straight-to-video film, Slappy's Angels: 10 Seconds to Armageddon, gave him a star role for once, but as it was straight-to-video, nobody cared, and the star treatment was reversed 5 years later in Slappy's Angels 4: The Quest for More Money, where he became a supporting character once again.

Movie poster for Scream 4, one of many shit films featuring one of many shit actors

Beyond Slappy's Angels, Crablogger has done very little for the media except to help destroy it. He appeared in an unwanted cameo in Scream 4, which was in production alongside Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle, and so Wes Craven decided to cash in on Slappy's Angels by borrowing some of the cheaper actors. Crablogger revived his role in Scream 4 in the super-crap Date Movie 2 the following year.

[edit] Filmography

• Slappy's Angels (2007) - Andy

• Scream 4 (2009) - Dick Alcock

• Slappy's Angels: Full Throttle (2009) - Andy

• Date Movie 2 (2010) - Transvestite

• Slappy's Angels 3 (2011) - Andy again

• Slappy's Angels (TV series) (2012) - Andy, who else?

• Slappy's Angels: 10 Seconds to Armageddon (2015) - You know who

• Slappy's Angels 4: The Quest for More Money (2020) - Andy

• Slappy's Angels 5 (2035) - Andy; Surprise, surprise...