User:Dimario

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Uncyclopedia:Babel

nl-N This user is a native speaker of Dutch.

I am, therefore I am.

Voices are inside my head, which tell me disturbing things about the world in general and other people in particular. Disturbing, because they're mostly right. Don't mess with that woman, they warned, she will break your heart. I ignored the advice, messed with that woman, and had my heart broken. Watch out for that truck!, they warned, It will run the light! I ignored them and ended up in hospital.

Sometimes, I listen to them. Other times, I manage to silence them. For a while. One of the voices sounds spaced out pretty far. Nowadays though, it takes multiple shitloads of WE (Whiskey Equivalents) to drown the voices.

Then, there is this colourless ...well... blob (and I don't mean binary large object, although it could be binary. Who knoes?) which sits there annoyingly at the very verge of my angle of vision. It is colourless, mind you, not black or something. It just simply has no colour at all. Nor is it transparent, alpha-channel or just straight not on the palette. It has no colour at all and it frightens me. I feel menaced. I mean, everything should have a colour. No colour is...well...wierd!

The blob doesn't do anything in particular, it just ...well... is. And when I try to look at it directly it just moves right in sync with the eye movements. Hovering there at ninety degrees or so of my field of vision. Lightning speed too. Hah! Never lags. Bastard thingy.

For a while, I told myself, keep your cool, this is one of those things, quite funny actually that it should happen to a strong and stable person like me but lately IT ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME. And no, it's not physical. Unless physical is able to switch between plus ninety and minus ninety degrees depending on it being an odd or even day. Which I personally think physical cannot do. But feel free to correct me if you disagree. Or if you have voices in your head that tell you to disagree.

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child. Who is a far, far way from home. I like music though.

Did I tell you about the varmints? They are small, they are white, they have four paws with sharp claws and tiny but needle-sharp teeth and they GET ON MY NERVES. Always running around I can hear them now there's one behind the fridge filthy little dirty Godforsaken bastard pests. Sometimes they even run across the wall! and if you think that is impossible then let me assure you they do. Give you plague and pestilence by just breathing the same air. Make the skin crawl at the very thought.

One of these days I'm going to burn down the whole place that'll fix them, dirty little creeps. Yes siree, a mighty bonfire with mighty cleansing power! Make them sizzle and pop. Scream and dee horribly! Just wait and see!








And onions, off course! Did I mention onions? No I forgot! I Love Them. Cooked, fried, raw, r/w (especially random access), deep-fried with a crusty...well...crust, red onions, plain onions, potato onions, tomato onions, Moon onions, Sunday extra plus onions, spring onions, winter onions, fire onions, air onions, water onions, earth onions, onions coming from the age of Aquarius, pickled onions, onions with tuna, with salt, with sugar, with butter, onions with creamcheese, onions brulée, onions with two cows, onions on Phlogiston, onions and olive oil...
Yummy yumm...onions.

Woke up last night after a particular bad nightmare. Because I was afraid to go back to sleep I made a little rhyme instead. Here it is:

      1 A coders Lament
     10
     20 King of sorrow, Prince of bits
     30 do make this a server hits
     40 WHILE TRUE AND FALSE OR ELSE IF NOT
     49 loops will break and . comms .
     60 and fading of the Blinken lit
     70
     80
     90 Mighty Bugger, strong and smart
    100 program stop and program start
    110 breakpoints come, touch and go
    120 by virtue of the Program Flow
    130 't Is not for the faint of Heart
    140