User:Emmzee/old

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Featured Article: Decapitation Disease This person created an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia.

To-Do List

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6:00-8:00 AM	Breakfast, read 1337 Bible.
8:00-9:00 AM	Kick some puppies.
9:00-9:30 AM	Naptime!
9:30-11:00 AM	Edit Uncyclopedia.
11:00-1:00 PM	Lunch eaten off of dead babies.
1:00-3:00 PM	High Tea with English Ambassador.
3:00-4:00 PM	Afternoon Naptime.
4:00-6:00 PM	Plot world domination.
6:00-7:00 PM	Dinner.
7:00-9:00 PM	Video Games.
9:00-10:00 PM	Goatse.
10:00-11:00 PM	Masturbate.
11:00 PM	Sleep time!

This person is complete, irredeemable trackball. This user is Bat Fuck Insane, and rotates at the mouth. If you attempt to edit him, you will most likely become Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or this person will lubricate your disbelief.

This user is Canadian ...and stands for truth, universal health care and HOCKEY games! (List of Canadian Uncyclopedians)

This user wishes they were an admin. Please grant them their wish.

This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

C:\>_ This user contributes using DOS.

This user fights against the squirrels and sporks conspiring to enslave the human species.

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.

This user is addicted to Counter-strike, and won't mind blowing your face off with an AK-47.

This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.

rh-N This user is a native speaker of Random Humour.

enr-N This user is a native speaker of Engrish.

17-N This user is a native speaker of 1337.

ca-N This user is a native speaker of Canajan, eh?.

gb-4 This user speaks Gibberish at a near-native level.

gbs-4 This user speaks Galactic Basic Standard at a near-native level.

du-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Dumbass.

us-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of American English.

mor-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. ..

ac-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of those African clicky noises.

fh-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Fuckhead.

tx-0 This user does not understand Texan and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.

MW-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek MediaWiki whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.

il-X This user only speaks Igpay Atinlay enough to seduce native Igpay Atinlay speakers.

	This article was written by a кoммциіѕт.
	"In Soviet Яussia, template adds УФU!!" Note that both the Chiniзe and teh Яussians love thiz AЯTICLE!

“In Soviet Russia, Emmzee date rapes YOU!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Emmzee

“Why did I even leave a comment in this creative black hole?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Emmzee

“He certainly does suck!”

~ Wayne on Emmzee

“I pity the fool that messes with Emmzee! Talking about...bad for the kids! Don't play me for no jibba-jabba fool!”

~ Mr. T on Emmzee

“There is no other man I admire more.”

~ He-Man on Emmzee

“Uhh...that last quote was pretty gay. You want to say something, He-Man?”

~ Bill Gates on that last quote

“SHUT UP! I'LL CUT YOU!”

~ He-Man on Bill Gates' mean comment

“George Bush doesn't care about Emmzee.”

~ Kanye West on Emmzee

I am now bringing Russian Reversal to every page. Watch out for Emmzee, 'cause I am gonna fuck you up. Seriously.

(points to self) (crotch thrusting) (points to you) (points up)

Contents 1 My Articles 2 My Images 3 My Templates 4 My Categories 5 The Man, The Legend, The Breakfast Cereal 5.1 Why I am Awesome 6 Related People (for now) 7 My Favorite Articles 8 The 5 Noble Truths

[edit] My Articles

• Stickland
• Peepers
• Toilet Conspiracy
• Jewsplosion
• People Are Dying
• Guitar Duel
• Wacky Gameshows that don't Exist, but should
• 100 Worst Self Help Books
• Crapbot Computers
• Schneck Technologies
• Commie Invasion
• Guru Meditation
• I also did some things in Zork2, which are in the Chapter 4 Grueslayer fight.
• I did several Unnews articles too!
• This is gonna be my best work ever. Without further adeu...ABYSS!!!!!!!
• Decapitation Disease

[edit] My Images

• Image:Thisgraph.png
• Image:Matrickshax.png

[edit] My Templates

• Template:UserExplode
• Template:Rad
• Template:Quarantine
• Template:Divine Retribution

[edit] My Categories

• Category:Rad

[edit] The Man, The Legend, The Breakfast Cereal

Emmzee is one of the coolest mofo's ever. Except for that Gwax guy. He's cool too. But enough of the brown-nosing.

[edit] Why I am Awesome

Many people have complained that I am "egotistical". Well they don't know shit about me. Here is a short list of my accomplishements:

• Your Mom
• Your Mom
• Your Mom
• Your Mom
• Your Mom
• I climbed Mount Everest once. With Your Mom.
• Your Mom
• Your Mom
• I went to space once. Guess who I went with?
• Your Mom!

[edit] Related People (for now)

• Palnixia
• Demonbob
• Your Mom

That joke never gets old. Ha!

[edit] My Favorite Articles

• Your Mom (what a shock)
• I Can't Believe it's Not Murder
• Grand Conspiracy
• Torture
• Alternative Medicine
• Iron Maiden
• Interweb
• Counter Strike
• Counter-Strike: Text-based version
• The substance left at the bottom of a squeezy bottle
• Bouncy Castle
• Game:Zork2
• Martin Van Buren

[edit] The 5 Noble Truths

1. I am Fucking Rad.
2. I pwn your ass too hard.
3. I am an Uncyclopedian.
4. I like Pie.
5. Metal is the only real form of music.
6. I was voted "most likely to be eaten by a Grue" at Middle school graduation.

Killed in Action This user has made the supreme Uncyclopedia sacrifice, donating a life in the line of Zork only to be repeatedly eaten by a hungry grue.