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The Burger Index, as coined by Mac McDonald, is an index of insight into one's obsessive compulsity (is that even a word?) in regards to burger-eating limits and standards. The Burger Index is mainly used by young-adult males to brag to their friends about how much meat they can eat in one sitting, typically without the inclusion of mandatory bathroom breaks.

The Burger Index, as performed through private and solicited questioning, is utilized by approximately 74% of the American population aged between 18-25. Of that 74%, 55% are overweight, but that's another story for a different article. (Read More!)

• ...Aquarius is a zodiac? Therefore I'm watching your every move from the skies.
• ...this bullet will kill you, however THIS bullet will kill you and everybody else in the room.

• ... that editing your mama's diary causes cancer?

• ...that to be Frank, I'd have to change my name?

• ...that in space, deaf people can't hear themselves scream?

• ...that the capital of China is C?

• ...that in psychology, Deja-vu (French for Deja vu) is the feeling that one has lived through something before?

• ...that by reading this, you are now part of the Grand Conspiracy?
• ...that in psychology, Deja-vu (French for Deja vu) is the feeling that one has lived through something before?

• ... that Uncyclopedia doesn't have an article on Moral Responsibility?

• Aquarius rules the world after winning a game of chess.
• Aquarius destroys the Moon with a photon torpedo.
• Overwhelmed by Federation ships, the king of the Borg surrenders to Aquarius.
• Gathering a force of Federation starships, everybody surrenders to Aquarius

• Clam eats man for the donuts
• Penguins die from reading The L.A. Times
• A school counselor almost actually accomplishes something.

• Fresh air hits Beijing - thousands collapse (pictured)

• In a shocking development, you're currently on fire.

• An ugly child is abducted and promptly returned.

• After seven years of war on terror, America kills a terrorist

• Man, I wanted sex ed when I was in Kindergarden!

• UnNews exclusive -- Is the movie Space Chimps too dark for kids?

• Chuck Norris signs deal with AT&T to destroy other phone companies.

• Pope concerned about spherical earth.

• The Dow Jones Industrial plummets on gloomy forecasts from drug dealers.

• Pope hits out at consumer culture, prefers time when Church owned everything.

• Local band writes song critical of President Bush.

• Attractive American women are genetically proven to be clumsy and retarded.

• You Gotta be Shitting me! He fucking Lost!.

• Bush praises Aquarius' actions as 'cool'.

July 25: International Talk Like Yoda Day, it is.

• A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...: Social Security investigators witness Yoda's light saber battle with Count Dooku, they do. Hmmmm. Realise, they do, that the walking stick thing is a charade. "Your incapacity benefit try and remove, we will" they tell him. "Do or do not", cleverly replies he, "There is no try."
• 306: Proclaimed Roman emperor, Constantine I is, by his troops.
• 1946: Detonated underwater, it is, in the lagoon of Bikini atoll, an atomic bomb. Swimsuits of Women are torn in half, they are. Protest, by this action, they show.
• 1947: The United Nations, Talks Like Yoda Day, it innaugurates.
• 1951: The Korean War, pauses it does so that both sides can this day enjoy.
• 1962: President Kennedy visits Berlin and proclaims "Ein Berliner, Ich bin."
• 1969: Neil Armstrong lands on the moon. His first message: "Hm, yes, one small step for man, this is. One giant leap for mankind, also it is."
• 1970: When asked, Mao Zedong is, by reporter ██████ ████ whether more powerful capitalism is than communism, replies, he does, "No. Quicker, easier it is."
• 1980: "Eheh. Wars not make one great!" quips Jimmy Carter. He is soon defeated in a landslide.
• 1981: "Mr. President! Freed the hostages are!" shouts a reporter as Ronald Reagan declares "Darth Ayatollah, powerful and bearded he is!"
• 2004: George W. Bush spends most of the day pretending to listen to questions put to him, then widening his eyes and saying "Yoda! You seek Yoda!" This goes on until Dick Cheney breaks his arm with a tire iron.
• 2005: Ted Kennedy remarks to Howard Dean, "John Kerry was our last chance to stop Bush and Cheney. To which Dean replies, "No....there is another!&quo ; ( ' later revealed that even though they once made out, Hillary Clinton is John Kerry's sister.)
• 2006: For the previous entry, shot an uncyclopedia editor is.

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Enzo Aquarius! For many months, Enzo Aquarius has slowly gained control of Uncyclopedia. His next phase, the change of his talk page to the main page will ensure this even more. To this day, Aquarius has affected 47 individuals alone and brainwashed them into his secret military organization named 'Section 31 Area 51'. Vote for Aquarius, and join his supreme reign! Alez Cuisine!

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