User:Enzo Aquarius/UnBooks:UnRoadMap
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Lost? Accidently went off the side of a cliff? Your wife being a backseat driver? Then this, Uncyclopedia's own UnRoadMap is just the tool you need! In a very inconvenient format, you will be able to locate where exactly you are and how to get to your location, despite what your wife or insignificant other may state!
Whether you're American, Canadian, British, Engrish or Antarctican, this road map is a great resource for you!
[edit] The United States of America
This is for you, the American citizen, whether native or illegal immigrant, let's teach you how to get around these, the United States of America.
First, you need to understand how the road system works in America:
- A kilometer is called a mile.
- A liter is called a gallon.
- French Fries are called Freedom Fries.
- Highways are called Interstates
- Y'all is a real word
Now that we got that out of the way, let's start!
[edit] Alabama
Howdy y'all to Alabama, home of the partially free and proud state with the most trailer parks. Need to understand how to get around the simple state of Alabama? Let's roll!
[edit] Alaska
Planning on visiting the snowy land of Alaska, or are you just lost? No worries, this state has snow plows making their roads somewhat accessable. You have to go through Canada though, so make sure to pick up some beer on the way.
[edit] Arizona
Interested in doing some gambling, whether it be legal or illegal, or perhaps you want to marry that woman you found on the corner of the street. Use this guide to get you through the hot and barren land that is known as Arizona!
[edit] Arkansas
Also known as the 'Ar in Kansas', follow this guide to take you to the land above the extended Gulf of Mexico.
[edit] California
Care to ride your Hummer through the massive roads of California? Use our stolen guide!
[edit] Colorado
Think you can brave the snow covered mountains of Colorado? Don't be a wuss, take the challenge!
[edit] Connecticut
Don't take this state's small size for granted, it's roads are quite complex. Then again, that's my opinion, which you probably don't care about.
[edit] Delaware
...what? Just click the link.
[edit] Florida
Want to ride your Ferrari through the golden roads of Miami and Fort Lauderdale of Florida? you stinking rich.... Perhaps you just want to steal some oranges from local farms? This guide is for you!
[edit] Georgia
Come on, it's Georgia.
[edit] Hawaii
Of course you need a guide to the roads of Hawaii, just make sure your tires can handle lava flows.
[edit] Idaho
Hands hurt from typing...
[edit] Illinois
Even people in the middle of nowhere need road maps too!
[edit] Indiana
Beside the middle of nowhere!
[edit] Iowa
I hate repeating myself.
[edit] Iraq
[edit] Kansas
Having difficulty navigating the weather-damaged roads of Kansas? Take a look!
[edit] Kentuckistan
Looking for the local Kentuckistan Fried Chicken, this guide can help!
[edit] Louisiana
I'll try my best...
[edit] Maine
Although it's still 'technically' part of Canada...
[edit] Maryland
Be merry in Maryland!
[edit] Massachusetts
[edit] Michigan
Although most of our roads are not recorded, you can still 'try' to drive around Michigan.
[edit] Minnesota
WHEN WILL THE Ms END?!
[edit] Mississippi
That place with the river.
[edit] Missouri
Or is it here...
[edit] Montana
Full of mountains, Montana is a driver's dream or nightmare for those starting to drive.
[edit] Nebraska
[edit] Nevada
The ultimate road map for those wanting to lose their money!
[edit] New Hampshire
The quick and easy way to get from Old Hampshire to New Hampshire.
[edit] New Jersey
Vwelcome to New Joysee!
[edit] New Mexico
Yes, there's a New Mexico, get used to it.
[edit] New York
And yes, four states with the word 'new'. Somebody wasn't creative.
[edit] North Carolina
Driving to South Carolina from the north? Guess what, you're going through North Carolina!
[edit] North Dakota
For whatever reason you need to drive through here, we're here to help somewhat.
[edit] Ohio
Trust me, it's bigger than you think.
[edit] Oklahoma
It's north of Texas, so this guide is a definite asset.
[edit] Oregon
Sure, Oregon is full of trees, but there are 'some' roads...aren't there?
[edit] Pennsylvania
Sounds delicious.
[edit] Rhode Island
For roads on Rhode Island, the island full of roads! Horrible man, horrible...
[edit] South Carolina
Need to get to North Carolina driving from the south, use our South Carolina guide!
[edit] South Dakota
Meh?
[edit] Tennessee
For that southern charm, in a middle state!
[edit] Utah
You...tah? Who comes up with these names?
[edit] Vermont
It's way the heck up there.
[edit] Virginia
I'm not making a vagina joke.
[edit] Washington
No, this is not Washington, DC, this is the more boring place to drive.
[edit] West Virginia
Good luck.
[edit] Wikipedia
Have you ever tried navigating Wikipedia? 1,500,000 roads and climbing, it's a freaking nightmare!
[edit] Wisconsin
Looking for some nice cheese or milk? Then Wisconsin is for you!
[edit] Wyoming
In the amount of time it took to get to this part of the page, you could be at your location in Wyoming by now.
[edit] Texas
If you ever think about navigating Texas on your own, you might as well shoot your genitalia.
